July 22, 2007

  • For Jealous Guys and Deserving Women.
    Sound Advice for Dating (SAD).

    Dear Cakalusa,

    It's
    been three months since I've been with my girlfriend. But I fear that
    guys might be hitting/eyeballing on her a bit too much. I'm sure I'm
    not alone when I say that I get a bit jealous. It's just nature. I've
    tried everything from being very trustful of her, letting it go, and
    just trying to ignore the situation, but it just seems to get worse,
    especially when we go to a club or bar.

    In need of help,
    Jealousy


    Dear Jealous One,

    Easy.
    Tell her to "date" a cop. I say that loosely, because they won't
    exactly be dating, but he [cop] would serve as a faux-boyfriend. And
    every guy know better than to hit on a cop's girl. That is, unless you
    want a baton stuck up your rectum. So while you're kicking back and
    relaxing, those guys are probably eyeballing your girl from across the
    bar.

    "Dude..she's hot."
    "Yeah, so are the bullets that come out of her boyfriend's gun."
    "Oh shi--..."

    The image “http://x43.xanga.com/fa3d651274330136374681/b100019815.jpg” cannot be displayed, because it contains errors.
    Made from 100% recycled plastic. And 100% kick-your-arse.

    Think she's being talked to too much by other guys? Date a cop.
    Guy dancing too closely to your girl? Date a cop.
    Want to get rid of her annoying girl friends (especially the fat gossiping one)? Date a cop.
    Want free pepper spray and riot gear? Date a cop.

    So find a friend who's an officer. Preferably a married one with kids
    who attends church every Sunday. A weekly dinner with the guy should
    suffice as repayment.

    P.S. It's best to find a cop that is a good friend of your. Otherwise, he might have other uses for his handcuffs..


    Restaurant Week: China Grille
    For
    one week, New Yorkers are able to eat like the stars. Dine like the
    rich. And indulge in some of the most popular, chic, and trendy
    eateries in Manhattan. Being an epicurean myself, this was a fine treat.

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    The place smelled of Chinese food. Terrible ventilation much?

    The image “http://x34.xanga.com/bc1d92fa26130136540836/w100159652.jpg” cannot be displayed, because it contains errors.
    Contemporary decor. Naiceee.

    The image “http://xea.xanga.com/1fad6bf426130136540845/w100159661.jpg” cannot be displayed, because it contains errors.
    There is no spoon.

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    See, we are enviornmentally friendly here!

    The image “http://x94.xanga.com/ce1d76f625331136540740/w100159564.jpg” cannot be displayed, because it contains errors.
    Swish-swoosh.

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    Inside the Trump Towers.

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