November 27, 2007
-
Faux-Beaux.
My Services for Hire.I think I've finally found my purpose in life. My future. I want to
start a global empire of trained men, posing as your faux-boyfriend at
clubs, deterring drunk
and downright shady men. I call it "Faux-Beaux".
I don't charge a hefty fee, but you will receive unparalleled service. Over 12 satisfied female clients, serviced by yours truly."I was skeptical at first and didn't think this was possible. In fact,
I thought it was a scam to get into my panties. Boy was I wrong. Not
only was Cakalusa a gentleman, but he has a hypnotizing dance that I just can't resist. I don't think I
can ever go to a club or bar without Cakalusa by my side."
- Deena S., New Jersey"Oh my god! Thank you so much from saving me from those sketchy guys a countless number of times. You were worth every penny!"
-Karynn E., New York."A
few months ago I used to be so afraid of going to the club with my
friends because they were never there when I needed them the most. But
now
with Cakalusa's amazing service, I can freely dance the night away
without men attempting to grab me and throw me into a dark corner,
thrusting his hips back and forth. Cakalusa's service was a Godsend."
- Jenn C., New YorkSo what exactly do we provide at Faux-Beaux?
Here at FB, we provide you with a highly trained male who you can
trust. He not only provides services in judo-chopping that drunkard
from trying to grind on you against your will, he's also trained in
many other skills. He’s the guy who fills in where the real boyfriend
drops the ball. Real boyfriend too busy with work, school or his
friends? Faux Boyfriend is there to talk, hang out and check out the
latest chick-flick. Real Boyfriend has no interest in shopping for
holiday gifts...again? Faux-Beaux is right there. And sure enough, a
close friendship is cemented. Your Faux-Beaux won't even seem so faux
anymore, leaving you with someone you can trust to grab onto when they
play a Sean Paul track and you'd prefer not to dance with that greasy,
hairy, drunk.With a Faux-Beaux, you can party hard. And don't have to feel a mysterious hard-on.
Interested
in a Faux-Beaux, send a request via AIM: cakalusa
(include name, date, hours needed, and
location of where the services will be needed) and we'll provide you a
price estimate within 24hrs.
Comments (261)
Starting at only $9.99/hr!
cakalusa, you have yet to answer whether or not you'd have sex with your clone. now answer!
$9.99/hr does that include tax and will there be any surcharges that I should be aware of?
a faux beaux is also known as the fag.. in a fag-hag relationship. and it works the other way around too.
lol we have this kind of service everywhere(especially big cities) in japan. i am sure you can real make big money in the states
instead, you'll feel a Faux-Beaux hard-on
i'll work FOR you... there's gotta be hot lesbians out there who need this service.
"he has a hypnotizing dance that I just can't resist"...I don't know if Deena ever existed.
anyway, my BF would not be happy with this service.
Saweeeet...can he help teach my daughter how to drive?
You need ME to fend off the gay men in your life.
How about a contra deal, huh?
i must say... you have way too much time on your hands there bud.
you won't feel a hard-on because chris doesn't have a penis. he's an android.
how much are you?
so ironic, mine friend has to bail on me this weekend and here you are w/ your service lol
what about a faux-amie? can gay guys order too?
what about the lesbians!?!? lol
lol wow......
curse you C.BLOCKS-R-US! curse you.
...really?
DAMN IT..... $1.40 LOL. help me!
RYC- no, you.
you've gone nucken futs
I want Faux-Beaux!
rip off, ES bro!
be sure to build your empire fast, not that someone else steals your ingenious idea!
You know what they say, it's not the first that make the money, it's the best
Sounds like an awesome service.
ryc: if i do, will you give me money?
lol! how funny... i ALWAYS run into the guys who want Jager shots.. :shudder:
haha, cute idea!
has anyone actually sent you dates yet? because i'm sure one of your more rabid fans will
Bring on the money. Cha Ching.
whore
Starting at $9.99/hr? That's such a great deal. I'd take one, but I don't go to clubs or bars.
Do you provide service in California?
free for me because i'm awesome.
I rather have a real beau.
you and your queer little MINIs. YOU.
Btw, why did xanga make these anyway LOL
Hahaha.
Sounds awesome. =]
this thing works with guys too right?
does the birthday mate get a special rate? she must
This is damn brilliant! lol, actually, I think these already exist: gay guy friends?
Do you cover travel costs? Your service is needed here in the midwest pronto... not for me!
so much for the empowerment of women!
so... how cheap are you ;]
money making schemes rarely work, but this.. is actually a pretty good idea. haha.
seriously?
What a bargain! Does Faux-Beaux also provide roadside service too? No, not that kind. I mean like flat tires? What about if I need someone to open a particularly stubborn jar? How about pest removal, like a mouse or annoying relative? Does Faux-Beaux also have a clean male policy, as in he's had a daily shower? Thats a must naturally...
LOL imagine someone read this and tried to make it happen. For real.
lmao
a little overconfident self-advertising you got there, eh?
just kidding
Wow, this service costs more than what I make in one hour!
haha ha, "wrap burgers at McDonalds"!
nize.
I would buy you, but too bad I am DAMN broke- none the less, know that many women will love to purchase your services lol- so technically...... since you're not selling your sexual time, you're a pseudo-pimp?? lololol. You human connoisseur~ so clever.
i've needed you in the past. why didn't you start your service before?!
HAHA.
makes it sounds like a "you need a companion? please call - - - - - - - -"
So. Cash or credit?
lolll. what would you want for xmas?
sounds like a host club ~ cool~
ona cat ~,,@
ryc: i'm guessing that's a bad thing? -_-
I need one! lol Sign me up!! hahaha
for only $10.00/hr i'll hire you to turn the blind eye when i hit on the girl you're protecting.
you'd probably be too expensive for me. : X
wtf, haha. you sure come up with some creative blogs.
My friends and I have joked around with that same exact idea. Good one.
gay men makes the best Faux-Beaux. i mean, we are talking shopping and all inclusive here. if normal man ran 80km/h at the word "shop", what makes you think this faux-beaux won't if he's a hot-blooded male. ha.
yay to gay men.
is FB hiring?
Haha but I like shady men! (that wrap me up in their locks o' crazy)
If only this service were real... :[
Are you offering FB in Aus? ahaha
Chris Biggalow Man Giggalo!
If you need money, just ask!
*silence*
Hahahahahahahahahahahahahha
Are you serious?
Nah someone just got raped round the corner from my house so I think I will have quiet nights till I leave the country.
What?! Chicks don't have wingchicks?!
dude...i wanna hire you. do you come to CA?
your question....my answer
I hope your money is either in your bank or with you personally.
Your money might also lie in Faux-Beaux.
haha niceee
I'm sure the Faux-beau service will be getting some profit at this time of the year when the ladies really need some companionship. I would like one. You guys do free shipping?
aka gay?
story of my life.
and 2ndly, who's the 3rd chick
hahaha
*clap* *clap* innovative idea! i can totally market this business for u! lemme know if u need some marketing consultation. haha!
What about letting me wear your jacket when i'm cold?! I've tested out your service.. or lack of it last Saturday. Pshh... 9.99 what a ripoff! I demand my money back.
hahha!
That's a cool idea actually... like if my significant other didn't feel like going to an event I want to go to I can just rent you? You might be in business here, my friend!
You should extend your services to subways, trains, streets, buildings...
i think it should be mandatory that the FBs are gay to avoid any confusion after prolonged used.
hhahaha this is almost like a high courtesan service - (check out jetsetblog.com) Good idea!
really brilliant of you to actually think of this. HAHAH!
ahahahaha
i'd probably rather have those 3 come up to me than a gotti brother look alike. ewwwww
i want video footage of this 'hypnotic dancing'.
too bad. i'm going to cali after graduation.
it's like a vegetarian hot dog!
Stop. Really. Now, you're just getting me excited.
ahahahahah....you are awesome, what a life-saver!
RYC: no, I never found out what was in that box, he left the elevator before he actually opened it.
Thanks for the comment!
what if we LIKE the mysterious hard ons?
Ok no.
.....How much?
That is both inspired and hilarious...
haha... faux beaux lol...come on i can be the manager ^_^
I shall use this service
When/If I return to the area
Let me know when you go fully East Coast ^^!
Link/Phnx
its the greatest service in the world, i never go anywhere in the city with out my faux beaux caka. he keeps me safe from predetors. especially in the clubs.
you hiring?
here comes the male geisha...^_^
yea who's da 3rd chica?? shes fly...
yea who's da 3rd chica?? shes fly...
LOL.....ah......LOL!
I'm glad I'll never have a use for this.
you're too much, lol!
hiring?
Sooo...what's the difference between a "faux beau" and a male escort? The price?
Haha. My guy friends are with us to do that but sometimes they do fail though I don't expect them to hang around us all the time! Great idea.
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