September 17, 2009

• Hi. Are You a Facebook Stalker?
  How to cut back on the Stalky Stalks.

  
  Eye see your boobs two! (Double pun score)

  Come on, admit it. Facebook and MySpace are oh-so-fun ways to reconnect with old friends--but they are also gold mines for cyber-stalkery and pedobears. "What is my old flame of mine up to these days?" It's one thing to glance and see what your dreaded ex is up to--it's another to know what color his prom date's dress was. Don't think you can kick the habit? I'll take you from super stalker to bored glancer in no time.

  Like any addiction, you could always try to quit cold turkey. But who really can delete their Facebook page forever (wuss)? Instead, try cutting back. Arrange your account so you get emails when someone add a comment to your page or invites you to an event. This way, you only check the dirt when there is dirt to check. If you still can't stay away from the call of cyberland, send all of your butt buddies a bunch of bumper stickers--it will keep you logged onto your page, but out of Stalkerville.

  
  You know you're on the internet way too much when you...

  You should not only reconsider how you surf the social networking pages, but also think about what you're putting out there. In the land of the ever-changing Twitter statuses, rethink your specifics. Keep your pals up to date on your whereabouts with basics, not specifics. If you say "be at the mall," your friends will know what mall you mean. But if you say "be at the Roosevelt Field Mall checking out Abercrombie and Fitch," lurkers will too.

  Oh, for the love of God, avoid the urge to fill your page with personal info like your phone number (PIN # is fine. Just friend me first. We'll talk later.)--you're just asking for a prank phone call or worse, a stalker from out of town. True story. More on that story in a future post.

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  4 Awkward Moments in Facebook "Likes".

  
  
  
  
  
  
  

  • 9:58 pm
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