April 17, 2013
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You Know Your Parents Are Asian When
1. Before prom, your parents had stern words for your date:
2. On vacations, your parents took photos like this:
You laughed, rolled your eyes, but years later you realize you should've taken more photos of them.
Via: m.lolsnaps.com5. They coached you on starving before a buffet and gorging only on ribeye and lobsters. Seafood-phobes were deadweight in buffet olympics.
Source: crazystupidshit.com6. When the bill came, older relatives fought, i.e. yelled and screamed in the middle of the restaurant, for the right to pay.
Via: justkiddingfilms.net7. Some distant cousin or family friend's son/daughter is always being trotted out as a paragon of perfection that you're falling short of.
Source: zazzle.com8. When you got sick, your parents fed you bitter herbal brews, or sent you to weird bruising traditional treatments:
It didn't actually hurt, but you were always afraid someone would report you to Child Services when you changed for gym.
Source: youtube.com9. Your mom's always convinced it's too cold without a jacket outside.
And you would never, ever, leave the fan on when you're sleeping.
Via: youtube.com10. Your relatives stuffed you with awesome food. And they didn't hesitate to comment when your waistline ballooned.
Expert food trolls, those Asian aunts.
11. You ate savory breakfasts littered with jarred pickles. Rice was always involved.
Source: 4.bp.blogspot.com12. When they visited you, they always crashed on some relative's couch, or kicked you out of your own bed.
They're convinced hotels were a ripoff.
14. For a household that was low on luxury, there were a lot of foot massagers, back massagers, massage hammers and massage accessories.
Via: themetapicture.com15. Your mom put fluffy dried pork into your sandwiches, and your friends said it looked like hair.
Scarred for life.
Source: seriouseats.com16. Your fridge was packed with jars whose labels never matched the food within.
You also saved every jar to store pickled stuff.
Source: bangkokgoplay.pixnet.net19. In the drawers were free napkins, cups, utensils, and mini shampoo bottles they've hoarded from hotels.
Also shower caps, though no one in your family has ever used one before.
Source: pakermonkey.blogspot.com20. Saturdays, you studied your parents' native tongues. Sundays, you practiced an instrument. Your dad was rad if he let you pick the guitar.
Via: castnet.nctu.edu.tw21. Your friends were always wondering why your parents are arguing. That's just how they speak.
Via: shutterstock.com22. Everyone was your Aunt or Uncle but you had no idea if they were actually related to you.
Also your parents call each other Mom and Dad instead of their first names. In fact you didn't even know adults had first names.
24. People always assume that you're related to another Lee/Chung/Nguyen/Hong/Kim that they know.
Source: daves425. Nothing will stop your aunts from trying to set you up with royal bores with Ivy League degrees.
"Mom, we have nothing in common." "But she's a doctor from Harvard!"
Source:26. Every year, you got money in red envelopes on New Year's.
Source: kristinandkayla.comVia Buzzfeed
Comments (96)
ARE YOU DOCTOR YET?
SO CHEAP! SO CHEAP!
SOOOO EXPENSIVVVVVVVE.
I love Durian fruit! I used to work with a lot of Asians from different countries at the airport in Detroit (Romulus, really)and I couldn't help but notice the name Nguyen a lot, particularly amongst the Vietnamese. Great post.
They don't use the feather duster for cleaning, but as a torture device.
Mom once put fish into a Thermos for my lunch. That was the first and last time she ever did that.
The photo stances were funny.
Hot water- for tea?
I've never heard of a plastic wrap tv remote (just spray it with hand sanitizer) But I did have a grandmother with a plastic wrapped couch. ugh.
Hmm... both my parents are white but I know what Durian smells like... am I a tiny part asian?
@Thatslifekid - no.
asian camera position cracked me up so bad, and the whole she's a doctor from harvard story is fucking true man. its mad. everyday/night when i come home from work is a new girl, new email, new picture and some new auntie that "came to visit and just visit and not sell off one of her kin" but all bullshit, im no fucking prince why's everyone want to marry me off with some girl. damn man asian parents
Haha savory breakfast!!! I'm easily enticed with foooood!!! (:
I like it when other Asians play the which Asian are you? I hate all chinks.
@mrqtran - dang dude take a joke.
I'm so glad you pointed out all the Asians in the photographs. I never would have seen them on my own.
hahaha.. somehow true...=) i can relate with the photos
@Thatslifekid - no?
#21 - I’ve always thought Cantonese is the perfect language to scold a small child in.
#23 - Never had a durian, but brother had a jackfruit tree in his yard once. Two, actually. Does that count?
hahaha.... you forgot about leaving shoes by the front door.
I can't stop laughing at that cat getting his back massaged!
my grandpa when he came to the states would just blow a snot rocket in public out of nowhere like he was breathing plain air.
HAHA YEEEEEEEES OUR CULTURE
Hehe. Love it. Judging from what friends of mine say, with a few minor tweaks this could all apply to Jewish, Italian or Irish families (at least!)
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LOL! What a good post! I can relate to so much of it!
@Crystalinne - nope. Hot water, because hot water. To drink lol.
ah, i miss the taste of durians...
LOL, so funny. Picture taking positions were hilarious. DAMN, them girls were winners in my book!!! LOL
I'll have to make sure my daughter reads this. Her husband is Chinese. She loves durians. I like the dried shredded pork. Whenever we go to visit, someone always gives up a bed or beds for us, and when we go out to dinner our son-in-law's father always insists on paying, in spite of my husband's protests. He's very sneaky about it too. Oh, and you should see the shoes by the front door. They line the entry hall.
27) Every morning when you woke up you first made your bed and then crawled out of the closet.
I didn't do that because I used to always sleep with my parents, but when I went over to my friends house one time for a sleepover he was like, "Time for bed" and then opened the closet and crawled in.
the prom example applies to white folks too - well maybe just the white redneck ones, like my husband - our girls wouldn't even bring their dates home =/ he also tried to make them wear a jacket, even if it was hot as Hades outside. I could really go for the breakfast about now!
I did not know about all of these items.
I guess I am not so Asian after all.
You are Filippino or south East Asian if you use fish sauce.
You are cantonese if you know what oyster sauce is.
Vietnamess are a puzzlement. American born Vietnames are very hard to tell what they are but the true Vietnamese born in Vietnam are shorter than their children.
Too late everyone, my daughter who is a doctor will be getting married this year.
I can check off most of these on my list. There's also lying about your kids' age so they didn't have to pay for them at the buffet. -_-*
HAHAHAHA Hilarious! I totally agree with all of the above!
This is so true! Hahaha!
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lol.. I have and grew up with Filipino family, I myself am Chicana and there are a lot of similarities... lol
LOL. So true, each and every one of them.
I <3 being Asian. I love shredded pork! yum-yum!
BTW, you forgot about the beatings! XD
Wow, despite growing up in Hong Kong, I don't relate to too many of these.
my remote controls are not in plastics. but we always have to tape the battery covers
Lol these are funny and I know more than several that apply to my parents.
Sometimes it's just lovely to know that I belong firmly to a group
I can personally identify with 95% of the list. This post has made me feel really nostalgic as well as part of a nice, quirky group of people.
err.. 10 out of 26. darn it. i'm not asian enough.
red enveropes for chinese new year...best part of shagging chinese girl!
Boo yah!
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