CaKaLusa's Xanga

Friday, December 11, 2009

Fri, 11 Dec 2009 02:32:18 GMT

STDs and Me.

Coworker: There's no such thing as STDs.
Me: What?!
Coworker: If you ignore them, they don't exist.
Me: Ignorance is bliss. Until you start blistering

Or you can beat the crap out of the person who gave them to you.

Random Picture Albums I Never Uploaded #6.

City somewhere. Club (Insert name here)?

Five dudes, one girlfriend apparently giving her man in green some lip service.

WAZAPPPPPPPPPPPPPPP!

No idea who this is, but she recognized me and wanted a photo. Well, who can resist a photo op with moi?

Just a bit o improv!

Guy wearing high-heels?

Thursday, December 10, 2009

Thu, 10 Dec 2009 02:37:06 GMT

Finding Love on Facebook.

I recently changed my profile picture on Facebook. Here are the lovely results.

I dare you to make this your profile picture now.

Wednesday, December 09, 2009

Wed, 09 Dec 2009 02:31:04 GMT

Wedding Wisdom.
Get hitched tonight!

I welcome you to a new series as I experience the drama-free (laff!) days leading up to my brother's wedding next summer. Me being the youngest of three brothers, experiencing the first wedding of the family (do not dishonor), this is a foreign experience that should provide stories for many, and a sense of sympathy from those already hitched. But really, this is a secret ploy to lure women as I expose my more kinder, softer, sensitive side. Hello, ladies.

Wedding Wisdom #1: I'm on a boat!

So the catering hall that my brother is having his wedding in is near a dock. And so, we need to take a yacht to get there. I'm thinking, I get trashed and attempt to sail the boat...INTO the catering hall. Ever experience a drive-in wedding? Now you have. The photo ops will be priceless.

"DUDE! I told you to turn left at Jeff St. and right at the McDonalds!"

Wedding Wisdom #2: Never enough.

Despite the finite number of seats there are, you can never invite enough people to your wedding. Like your aging uncle John's waistline, it's always expanding.

You'll be on the "maybe" pile. Yes you, in the white dress.

Wedding Wisdom #3: Dressed For Success.

From all the years I've been to weddings, 99% of them were Chinese (1% margin of error). Now imagine the largest wedding you've been to, and multiply it by 5. That's a traditional Chinese wedding. It's Chinatown, stuffed in a catering hall (Chinese restaurant). If you don't explode from the ten course meal, you will after trying to dance, when the MC tries to get you all to dance (via the YMCA or electric slide).

So what's the big deal? Squigglers. They walk in undressed for the occasion. Like they're just there for the food and bouncing when it's over. I swear, some people who get invited look like they just got out of work, and not from a white-collar job, but from a fish market. I've actually seen a man walk in with black pants, beat up sandals and a wifebeater. Who are you, Bruce Lee?

Bluce Ree disapplove of your wedding clashing!

Tuesday, December 08, 2009

Tue, 08 Dec 2009 02:11:49 GMT

Vice City.
Atlantic Titty 2009.

Weekend stay at hotel: $200

Shady business deals for booze and "other": $50

Coincidental "White vs Dark shirt" ensemble: $75 per person

Watching it all get soiled: Priceless.

Saturday, December 05, 2009

Sat, 05 Dec 2009 21:28:30 GMT

My Date For Tonight.
Don't be jealous.

Friday, December 04, 2009

Fri, 04 Dec 2009 02:06:07 GMT

Perfect Stocking Stuffer for your Gamer friend.
See? I do care! Now that should cover me for the year.

"Ghost" from Call of Duty: Modern Warfare 2 had it.

The men in Afghanistan have it.

Amazon has it!

Perfect for ski season. Or your late night robbery.

A Random Karaoke Night.
Full of fob!

There wasn't a fan in the room. Her hair was blown away by my sheer awesomeness.

Suriya looks up a new song in...the phone book.

Reunion of the Fruitbowlers! Well, 3/4 of them. We'll wait another 1-2 years before we all hang out together again.

Apparently phones are edible!

Oh, I love poteto chips!

So Asian it hurts.

Late night boozery.

Xian stares intently at Su's hair, wondering how many hairs are on her head.
"1,004,891...1,004,892...1,004,893...."

The "Ricky" smile.

Chugging melon soju like it's water. Wait...it wasn't water?

Unexpected frash!

Late night boozing results in late night feasting.

Om nom nom nom.

Answer to yesterday's Boy/Girl Challenge.

Shiver me timbers, it's Fat Galbert!

Thursday, December 03, 2009

Thu, 03 Dec 2009 03:36:25 GMT

Cakalusa's Boy/Girl Challenge #67
You have 1.47 seconds to decide.

Hey! Hey! Hey!

Tuesday, December 01, 2009

Tue, 01 Dec 2009 03:11:07 GMT

The Annoying Jewish Coworker Strikes A New Chord.
Logic was lacking and apparently now her common sense .

Her: Hey is your Communicator (inter-office IM client) working?
Me: .... are you blond or just dumb?

Anyone for KFC this Friday?

The Quadruple Down.

Degrading Asian Photo of the Day

Cosplayers. Yes, Hello fat ugly Caucasian. You do not look like Asian character. Hello fat ugly Asian. You do not look like Caucasian character.

Monday, November 30, 2009

Mon, 30 Nov 2009 05:16:00 GMT

Giggity!

Ohhhhhh, rightttt!

Thursday, November 26, 2009

Thu, 26 Nov 2009 21:01:55 GMT

Happy mass-text your address book day!

Never play with your food. Righhhhht.