CaKaLusa's Xanga

Saturday, November 14, 2009

Sat, 14 Nov 2009 22:43:24 GMT

Stories of the Annoying Jewish Coworker: #51
Never a happy place.

Coworker: I wanna die.
Me: Being here is a good start.
CW: Yeah. Especially with the network issues.
Me: Right? And AJC.
CW: Her laugh...
Me: Oh my god.
CW: Sounded like cattle dying.
Me: It's no laugh, it's a shriek.
CW: When you kill a vampire, that's what it sounds like.

Many AJCs hear round the world.

Cakalusisms.
Talking about female bowlers.

Her: Especially the ones who wear flannel and look like men.
Me: Lesbians, you mean?

Ladies in the house say "Heyyyyyy."

Random Ptolemy Related Cartoon of the Day.

Prom or Halloween Costume? The answer below.

Happy Halloween on a full moon! /cricket

Thursday, November 12, 2009

Thu, 12 Nov 2009 02:28:02 GMT

Cakalusa Presents: Halloween Costume or Prom Night?
The only vote that matters this November.

Many birds died for their cause.

Wednesday, November 11, 2009

Wed, 11 Nov 2009 02:19:15 GMT

Happy douche bag awareness week!

Here's the ribbon.

Answer to yesterday's Boy/Girl Challenge.

Upon closer inspection...IT BE A BOY-O! With a hairy man arm over his shoulders...

Jen: we went to hs together
Jen: but i'm not facebook friends with him.

Degrading Sports Photo of the Day

Man meets beast. Or is the beast?

Tuesday, November 10, 2009

Tue, 10 Nov 2009 01:25:31 GMT

Cakalusa's Boy/Girl Challenge #66
You have 1.47 seconds to decide.

How my pits smell, baby?

Image submitted by Jen.
Submit yours today!

Monday, November 09, 2009

Mon, 09 Nov 2009 01:53:26 GMT

Food For Thought.
Fap fap fap.

Have you ever sat down at your friend's computer desk and thought to yourself "This is where s/he masturbates"? If you haven't, well, now you should.

Easy (like your mother) Xmas gift for 2009.

Degrading Sports Photos of the Day

Scare in 3...2...

"And I say mine is bigger!"

"I wonder if I set my DVR for 'Dancing with the Stars'..."

Nothing wrong with this photo at all..

Thursday, November 05, 2009

Thu, 05 Nov 2009 12:00:16 GMT

The Things you Find on Google.
And how to be productive at work.

Submissions by Ami.

Wednesday, November 04, 2009

Wed, 04 Nov 2009 02:52:38 GMT

Pet Peeve #24.
Hairy Situation.

I was running to the office restroom when I see a man, balding at the top of his head pull a comb from his pocket. For a split second, I wasn't thinking about the imminent danger of an anal explosion brought upon by a Mexican lunch. I was thinking in my mind how ridiculous what I saw in front of me.

No, not her. I just googled "Mexican".

Here we have a middle-aged man with half his scalp exposed to the whole world for viewing and hushed criticism (you'd be lying if you didn't find it funny), attempting to comb what's left on his head. Now, it's one thing to try and cover this comedic exhibit, but to have a comb tucked and ready in your pocket is just asking for a blog-worthy roasting.

Worst combover. Ever.

Dude, it's over. Get over it and accept it. And yes, I made it into the bathroom just in time and it was FANtastic. Thanks for asking.

iPod Nano now with camera?

Welcome to 2001, Apple. Call it "market-leader" syndrome. Once a company owns the market - innovation goes out the door.

Adding to my obnoxiousness.

Are you familiar with Hot 97? Hate Funkmaster Flex? Find that annoying airhorn of his that he overlays on top of each song?

You might not like being around me either. I've decided to make it my ringtone--ensuring that it's set to one mode: extra loud and obnoxious.

Answer to yesterday's Boy/Girl Challenge.

Asian Pussy Cat Dolls!

Tuesday, November 03, 2009

Tue, 03 Nov 2009 02:05:11 GMT

Cakalusa's Boy/Girl Challenge #65
You have .97 seconds to decide.

Pleather is so in.

Monday, November 02, 2009

Mon, 02 Nov 2009 01:33:28 GMT

How I Win the Ladies.
A True Story.

The following takes place at 1 AM EST.

Me: Heya

Her: Yo.

Me: how ya be?

Her: crappy

Me: Boo. Why?

Her: broke up with my bf.
(My arsehole instincts kick in)

Me: Darn.

(Swoops in)

Sorry to hear that.

(Here's my chance)

I hope it didn't end on a bad note.

(I hope it ended on a sour note so there's no chance of reconciling)

Well, if you need someone to talk to, I'm here for you.
(Cry on my shoulder so I can stare at your boobs.)
Her has signed off.

Yeah. I'm a jerk.

Clearly, I'm the author's inspiration.

Halloween 2009.
Four costumes in 72 hours.

Hawwwww? I dless rike this evelyday, actuarry...

I mow your lawn sometimes, mang.

What I do at work. They pay me well.

"Casual Friday" attire aka "This is what I wear to see your mother" attire.

Barista! Tall or Grande? Pretentious or MacBook?

Saturday, October 31, 2009

Sat, 31 Oct 2009 01:44:23 GMT

Casual Fridays.
I dress for success....

...too bad I had my fly unzipped for half the day. Fail!

Fried Chicken Stories: Part 2.

Remember that episode of Simpsons when Homer didn't get all that he could eat at the seafood buffet? And when they ran out of food, he went fishing for more seafood?

Yeah...

Is it sad if I had a craving for KFC at midnight, and it was closed, and I ended up going to a bowling alley to buy fried chicken? Cause I didn't...DON'T JUDGE ME! DAMN IT!

P.S.S Chicken fingers at a bowling alley aren't bad at all. Just a sidenote....

Car Fun.
Zomg, I are teh thin!

Old school video from the lost archives. Circa 2004, in a friend's car.