April 9, 2005

• Video Games killed the radio star.

  I've
  been thinking back fondly to my days as a video game junkie pre-1999
  lately. This soul-searching/reminiscing has led to this very
  important entry. Yeah, that's right, I'm going to rank video game
  systems by how they have affected my life. Let the controversy begin...

  1. Nintendo
  The
  original 8-bit Nintendo Entertainment System, also known in more fanboy
  circles as the NES (famicon in Japan). This system was my first video
  game system
  and had such a Darth Vader grip on me that it eventually led to the
  beginning of
  the end of me being able to play with my G.I. Joe and Transformer toys
  (Mucho money on EBAY). I remember distinctly picking one up at Caldor
  (remember that place ?) and anticipating the vicious removal of
  cardboard and plastic, exposing the yummy Made In Japan plastic within.
  It
  came with a Super Mario Bros./Duck Hunt cartridge--Mario being perhaps
  the best adventure game ever on a
  video game system. How they were able to package the system with a game
  about an Italian plumber who ate mushrooms while chasing an overgrown
  turtle with firey breath  is still a mystery to me, but they
  somehow pulled it off (legally).

  One drawback was their terrible detection problem. I think I've spent
  more hours blowing into the system and cartridges to make them work
  (remember pressing the "reset" key when the screen blinks to get the
  system operating?) than actually playing the games. Obviously this was
  a great practice for girls (those Japanese people are sick
  individuals!), if you know what I mean . Okay Chris, mind out of the
  gutter.

  
  Wh-what is this prehistoric fossil?

  Nintendo
  had many classic games including Contra, Mike Tyson's Punchout,
  Baseball Stars, Metroid, Ikari Warriors, and Legend of Zelda. My
  brothers and I discovered a code in Ikari Warriors by random button
  mashing which enabled us infinite lives. We still
  believe we were the first people in America to accomplish the feat
  despite no internet to find cheats. (I'd say the world, but as we all
  know Japan gets their video game
  releases before we do.)

  
  "Amazing action, blazing graphics..."

  The Nintendo controller was a simple 2
  button format, just the A and B buttons, and it worked pretty damn
  well. Punch/Kick, Swing/Throw, Accellerate/Brake, we could do it all with just two
  buttons. If we had only known what the future would hold.

  
  Also useful for cliffhanging

  2. Gameboy
  Probably one
  of the most innovative advances in video gaming history. The #1 selling
  video game. The reason why Nintendo is still in the maps. The reason
  why most of the Y-Generation(1979-1995) has carpul tunnel syndrome. We
  (my brothers and I) recieved this gift on Xmas 89' from our Uncle Jack,
  which is also the best gift we've recieved from him with my 19 years on
  earth. The rest were sweaters two-sizes too large. Packaged with
  Tetris, my pre-school days were not spent coloring within the lines, or
  figuring out what comes after the letter "C" (it's R, if you're
  wondering), it was with my bestfriend, Tetris.

  
  Doesn't that pale olive color scheme bring back memories?

  What pushed
  the Gameboy to the next level was probably it's lineup of great games
  coupled with portability. Looking back at it, this thing's larger than
  a textbook compared to the Gameboy Advance. I spent so many
  hours indoors with my brother and friends playing
  games that there were times we even forgot to have our after-school
  snack! I kid you not.

  
  This behemoth took four AA batteries, but wellll worth it.

  3. Super Nintendo (SNES)

  Many of you are probably reminiscing whilst deja vu'ing with that
  title. I can list an endless amount of memories brought to me with this
  machine. Our parents purchased this for my brother on his birthday
  (forgot which one, but who counts birthdates anyway? It's so 1980's).
  And of course, the 007 skills of us three siblings sparked a hint
  curiousity--we found the receipt of this gift 3 days prior. Our
  salivary glands were jumping out of our jaws, waiting for our brother's
  birthday to quickly advance.

  

  Soon enough (or hardly?), the day came. We must've been the happiest
  Asian kids in Queens, NY. Three little Asians, paired with a copy of
  the hottest game at the time, Super Street Fighter for the SNES. The
  hadoukens, the hundred hand slaps, and all the Chun-Li "yap-yap-yap's"
  brought many hours of entertainment.

  

  Then, just when things couldn't get any better, an uncle visiting Hong
  Kong brought home what was probably the greatest gift, and catalyst for
  piracy--a video game copier. Obviously, the video game gods were
  blessing us for beating Super Mario World not twice, but thrice (okay,
  so we used a few Game Genie cheats). Can you say you "owned" over 200
  snes games?

  
  A brand new game on a floppy disk. Oh, the lovely wonders of piracy.

  Okay, if you're a Fed, please refrain from issuing a warrant for my arrest--it was for testing purposes only.

  4. Sony Playstation
  I
  remember the first time I saw Sony Playstion at Toys'R'Us. Not being in
  the video game phase like I used to, this contraption was foreign to
  me. As a 6th grader, my first hands-on experience was with my cousins
  Timmy, and Nick. Christmas Eve suddenly had more meaning to me. As we
  spent hours playing the demo disk included with the system, it was no
  wonder why Japanese people are so pale--the hours on end spent playing
  games indoors does that to you.

  
  "What? No analog sticks?"

  It was certainly
  a transistion moment for me, because now that I didn't have the system
  that was most popular, it became the first time that I was mediocre at all the games we played. I should note here, that at the
  same time my vision began to deteriorate, so my high-scoring skills weren't what they once were.

  
  And so the myth of masturbation causing blindness wasn't true. It wasn't playing with yourself that was bad, playing games was!

  Alas, the gaming gods answered to us again, and my brother
  purchased the  Playstation (PSX for nerds like you and me) from
  our good family friend, Lenny. Basically, all we played on Playstation
  were sports
  games, and fighting games like Tekken and Street Fighter Alpha. Hour
  after hour of vision deteriorating games.

  5. Sony Playstation 2
  My
  times with PS2, my current video game system, has been a bitter-sweet
  time for me. This was the first system I purchased with my personal
  funds. It was a special edition boxed set with Gran Turismo 2 included.
  The skills when it comes to the games are mostly
  still there, but now my 10 year old cousin, who I once could whip in
  any game with my eyes closed, can now smack me around pretty good. My
  ability to play for hour after hour has also greatly diminished as my
  eyes start to burn and my fingers get stiff after a certain period of
  time. However, despite these unavoidable consequences of aging, I have
  begun a new journey into the many genre's of video games.

  
  "Well Brandeen, look'r this lil' doo-hickity of a contraption! It's an expensive cup holder. A-hee-haw!"

  As many of
  you know, I'm not into video gaming as I used to; except for those
  "multi-player friend-crusher" party's at my friend Simon's. These games
  are role-playing
  games, and not the type you play with your significant other. Well,
  unless you roleplay as a drawf and a wizard, but that's really your
  business.

  
  Little did Miss Follingsworth realize that her robe was made by handicapped children. She was never the same again afterward.

  Anyway, the PS2 has both opened and closed some video
  game doors for me. Well, mostly it has closed doors, but every now and
  then I do find the right magical key. I don't play for as long, or have
  the emotional stake that I once did, but now when I play it's just a
  way of escaping the day to day crazyness that life is.

  Well,
  that, and also learning how to shoot and maim people, like in such
  games as Grand Theft Auto. Because, we all know, if Joe Lieberman is
  right, video games make people kill.

  
  If only life could be reset like video games, I'd be flying airplanes and making $40,000

  Now if you'll allow me to get going, I must prepare an induction of my newly acquired PSP.

  ---

  [Post-Edit] Throw in the Sega Dreamcast. It totally slipped my mind. Maybe because it lasted all but 2 years.

  

  • 8:38 pm
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