Super Sexy Talk on Facebook.
Not really.
I've a way with words, most of the time these words get me (and my friends) in trouble. Sometimes they become pun-filled back and forth banter with friends. Puns and double entendres are always welcomed with open arms on the internet. And if you know me, I love puns like Pedobear loves kids at the Neverland Ranch. My friend posted this image on her Facebook and the conversation started:
Here's 11 Corgified People and Things of That Nature.
Really short legs look so good on corgis that I decided to shorten some other legs to see what they look like…
And just to remind you how awesome the originals are:
Via Pleated Jeans
THE NFL IS CUHRAZZYYYY!
Lol, BREAKING NEWS... THE REPLACEMENT REFS AREN'T QUALIFIED FOR THE PREVIOUS NFL REFEREES WHO WERE PAID $100K+ A YEAR TO DO THEIR JOB! WHO KNEW, AMIRITE! AND SORRY FOR BLOWING OUT YOUR EARBALLS WITH ALL CAPITAL LETTERS! SERIOUSLY, WHY ARE YOU STILL READING THIS?! I AM JUST TYPING STUFF WITH CAP LOCK ON, AND YOU CAN'T HELP BUT TO READ EVERY AGONIZINGLY LOUD WORD! YOU ARE PROBABLY SHOUTING EVERY WORD IN YOUR HEAD RIGHT NOW!!!!!1!!!!!1!!11
Every other Jets play.
The new Madden is Mario Kart.
Replacement refs, clearly as blind as a female Asian driver on a highway.
STOP GANGNAM STYLE!
Okay, I'm done and over it. This Macarena 2.0 has to stop. The first time I heard it on the radio here in NY, I knew it was over.
Then this happens:
What are your thoughts on the Gangnam Style craze?
The Many Face of Alcohol.
It's known that the consumption of alcohol can affect one's mood, motor skills, and health. But did you know it can greatly affect your face? This isn't Korean plastic surgery. Once the alcohol touches the lips...game over. I go from Asian Dad's favorite grade A student to Lindsay Lohan without an ankle moniter.
Here I am at 8:31 PM with zero alcoholic beverages consumed.
Here I am at 11:41 PM after 11 alcoholic beverages consumed, including a nasty Long Island Iced Tea.
I am drama.
Oh snap! I see yo mama's vagina from across the Hudson river!
The nips are usually the tastiest part.
CLEARLY NOT INTERESTED IN @mkazama's ADVANCES!
Now kiss!
Are you sitting down? You better be sitting down.
Apple iPhone 101. The best iPhone yet.
If you thought having an extra row of icons on the iPhone 5 was impressive. Wait for what we have in store for you. Get your credit cards ready. You're in for a real treat iSheep...err, Apple fans!
Do you plan on purchasing the new iPhone 5? If so, let me know so I can unfriend you.
Never Forget.
Has it already been close to 11 years since 9/11? The iPod debuted 11 years ago. Just to remind us all how much older we are, facts from the year 2001.
| World Series Champions: | Arizona Diamondbacks |
| Superbowl XXXV Champions: | Baltimore Ravens |
| NBA Champions: | Los Angeles Lakers |
| Stanley Cup Champs: | Colorado Avalanche |
| U.S. Open Golf | Retief Goosen |
| U.S. Tennis: (Men/Ladies) | Lleyton Hewitt/Venus Williams |
| Wimbledon (Men/Women): | Goran Ivanisevic/Venus Williams |
| NCAA Football Champions: | Miami |
| NCAA Basketball Champions: | Duke |
| Kentucky Derby: | Monarchos |
| Sports Highlights: | |
| The Hotties and Fashion Icons: | Gisele Bündchen |
| The Heartthrob(s): | |
| "The Quote" | |
| Time Magazine's Person of the Year | Rudolph Giuliani |
| Miss America: | Angela Perez BaBaraquio (Honolulu, HI) |
| Miss USA: | Kandace Krueger (Texas) |
|
War On Terror:
|
American Airlines Flight 11 (hit the North Tower, NYC) United Airlines Flight 175 (hit the South Tower, NYC) Total World Trade Center United Airlines Flight 90 (Crashed near Shanksville, PA) American Airlines Flight 77 (hit the Pentagon) Clear Channel banned many rock and pop songs after the attack. |
| The Scandals:
Angelina Jolie gave a passionate open-mouth kiss to her brother, James, which made many people almost forget Bjork's goose dress. Enron's accounting scandal cost investors something close to $60 Billion, and their accounting firm, Arthur Anderson, went out of business Gary Condit, a Democrat California congressman, had an affair with his intern, Chandra Levy, which was alleged may have also led to her murder. It didn't - Ingmar Guandique, a Salvadoran immigrant had killed her.  Fake picture from camera supposedly found in World Trade Center debris. Nascar Driver Death: Dale Earnhart Airplane Celebrity Death: Aaliyah Splitsville: Renee Zellweger was in the bathroom when Hugh Grant called her up for her Golden Globe Award.  Millions watched Britney Spears dance with a python at the MTV's Music Video Awards |
|
| Nerd News: |
Barry Bonds hit 73 Home Runs*. Cost of a Superbowl ad in 2001: $2,100,000 |
| The Habits: |
iPod was released October, 2001. The X-Box came out in November, 2001. ...Everybody else was watching SpongeBob Squarepants |
| 1st appearances & 2001's Most Popular Christmas gifts, toys and presents: | iPod, Harry Potter, K'NEX BattleTech/MechWarrior, Bob the Builder toys |
| The Bomb (Film): | Glitter starring Mariah Carey |
| Best Film Oscar Winner: | A Beautiful Mind |
| The Big Movies: | 1. Harry Potter and the Sorcerer's Stone 2. The Lord of the Rings: The Fellowship Of The Ring 3. Shrek 4. Monster's Inc 5. Rush Hour 2 6. The Mummy Returns 7. Pearl Harbor 8. Ocean's Eleven 9. Jurassic Park III 10. Planet of the Apes |
| 2001 Most Popular TV shows: | 1. Friends (NBC) 2. CSI (CBS) 3. ER (NBC) 4. Survivor: Marquesas (CBS) 5. Survivor: Africa (CBS) 6. Everybody Loves Raymond (CBS) 7. Law & Order (NBC) 8. Will & Grace (NBC) 9. The West Wing (NBC) 10. Monday Night Football (ABC) |
| 2001 Billboard Number One Songs |
November 18, 2000 - February 2, 2001: February 3 - February 16: February 17 - February 23: February 24 - March 23: March 24 - April 6: April 7 - April 13: April 14 - July 1: June 2 - July 6: July 7 - August 3: August 4 - August 17: August 18 - September 28: September 29 - November 2: November 3 - December 14: December 15, 2001 - January 25, 2002: |
My Mother Is Out of Control!
It's bad enough when your mom shares stories to her friends about your childhood that still haunt you to this day. But today, she went over the top. She's been posting embarrassing baby photos of me (and my brothers) on Facebook for all my friends to see.
But since the cats out of the bag and there's little to no available self worth after these postings, I may as well share them with you.
Family photo of my brothers and I. They too were not safe from the onslaught of childhood photo bombings from our mother. Check out those knee high socks!
Embarrassment level: Over 9000.
New Music Friday.
Here's some fresh tracks to kick off your weekend. A few songs that go well with your happy hours. I want to make this a regular feature here on this site.
I enjoy hearing new tracks and adding them to my library. Here's your chance to show off your eclectic taste in music! What song(s) have you been listening on repeat?
The Annoying Coworker Strikes Others.
*We hear the Annoying Coworker from across the office*
Coworker #1: So annoying!
Coworker #2: Oh my god, bro. It's nuts.
Me: Can you hear it?
Coworker #2: What is wrong with her? Mad loud. I hear it all the time. At least like ten times a day
Me: fml.
Coworker #2: She does that loud ass annoying laugh. WTF kinda laugh is that? It sounds like she choking
Driving With Mom.
As a licensed driver and having your mother in the passenger seat, there's nothing more annoying than this. We've all been there. The constant nagging, the "this is my last day on earth" mentality whenever she sits in the car with me, the constant reminder to stay 50 mph below the speed limit. If my mother and I were in a rally car race, and she was my navigator, this is how it'd go.
Mother: Turn by that tree stump thingy.
Me: There are a million stumps out here! Turn which way? Where?
Mother: Chris, why are you driving so fast?
Me: Did you not realize this is a race?
Mother: Look out for the puddle.
Me: It's just a puddle, don't worry.
Mother: Do you really need to be going this fast? You're going to hydroplane!
Me: UGH! Just tell me where, not how to drive!
Mother: Pull over, let me drive.
Me: No! We're in the middle of a race!
Mother: Pull this car over now!
Me: NO! UGHHHHHHH!
Mother: Don't listen to the GPS, I know a better way, I drive here every day.
Me: You drive on a dirt road through the woods on your way to work?
Mother: I packed some sandwiches for our little trip, do you want PB&J or tuna?
Me: *Sighs in defeat* Salami.
Tell me I'm not the only one who hates every minute of their car ride with their mom sitting as a passenger.
XANGA DRAMA
AWWWW YEAH!
This is like high school all over again. The cliques, popular kids, outcasts, wedgies, boring History classes, and above all else, the drama.
If you've been lurking around Xanga enough, you're quite aware of the tense situation surrounding a few individuals. The most interesting part? I'm in the middle of it all, but watching cautiously from the sideline.
I feel like a deciding Emperor watch a gladiator armed with futuristic weaponry fight a Liger that shoots lasers out of their paws.
At first, I was like
These are two friends I hang out with regularly. Why are they fighting?
I tried to keep things civil and help them work things out, but...
...to no avail.
And the more I tried to help, the worse the situation became.
And the more I thought about our great times together,
I suddenly realize this is going to be the end of a group of friends.
But then I thought, "Damn, this drama is gon' be good! Continue!"
Every time a new post was made
And every burn or diss thrown at each other
I remain on the sideline watching.
My Political Career Is Over.
Just a normal night.
@drakonfyre comes by with her friends. I forgot their names, but they're twins. Alex salivatingly approves.
@ladiiee buys everyone a few rounds of soju. Her plans of getting me drunk enough to take me home will never come to fruition, though.
Posing like amateur Korean models.
My new shtick, "McKayla Maroney not impressed" face.
And here is what happens when you feed girls alcohol.
NOW KISS!
This is clearly not the way to replace going to the dentist.
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