October 18, 2005

  • The Evidence.


    Hi!!! i'm ricebunny!! i'm totally conceited!!! I can't stop these exclamation marks!!! IT'S OUT OF CONTROL!!! @_@




    I never say anything negative!!


    Oooh, and make-up! Oh, this just gives me more of a reason to post more picture
    of myself. See, I really just use this as an excuse to plaster my face
    all over here!!! Don't you guys worry about that--I'm no webcam whore!!!


    Here I am breathing some air!!!



    OOOh, pretty clock! I love staring at random things while my camera goes off mysteriously!!!


    Hehehe, here I am, turning a doorknob. SO KEWL!!!!


    See, I love to read!!!!!!!!


    Oooh, here I am, flushing a toilet. FLUSH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
    !!
    !!!!!!!!!



    And don't you forget!!!! Look at my art, you're going to have to pay "commission" fees.
    Don't worry, some people are stupid enough to buy it and not go to my
    deviantart site and "save as." Silly xanga kiddies!!!!

    Here's my super-dee-duper tutorial on how to be a pretentious whoreo!

    Awww, so cute! Two lovely couples!!!

    Hehe, what's this?!!! Mr. Affleck, why are you leaving J-Lo?!!!!

    OMG!! They're homosexual now!?!


    yay!!!! THREESOME!!!!


    The Rebuttal.

    Yowzers! Take a dose of methylphenidate, please. Certain people have
    been placed on Xanga to please one of 5 senses, vision being one of
    them. Planting numerous pictures of God knows how many of yourself is
    not part of that. It certainly doesn't please. What I
    don't get is the amount of conceitedness. Must every entry have at least 5 pics with herself in it? Who do we speak of? Oh,
    you've seen her around a bit. She's got about 32,482 miles of
    pedophilic men swarming her site, ogling over her pictures. Obviously she hasn't taken my posting about camwhores into consideration.

    The image “http://x1b.xanga.com/c07841121533014683329/b10522821.jpg” cannot be displayed, because it contains errors.
    "Excuse me, which aisle has a bottle of vain?"

    Good ol' ricebunny. Dare I say that you venture to her site at your own
    risk? If you enter, be sure to carry along with you sound-proof
    headphones to rid of the terribly annoying songs that play, an OC24
    (1.244 Gb/sec aka fast as hell broadband) connection--all her pics may take
    2 days to load, and a steak knife. Why the steak knife? To gouge your
    eyes if your computer freezes on you and cannot exit her site.

    The image “http://xbb.xanga.com/9ca85a120873114683092/b10522658.jpg” cannot be displayed, because it contains errors.
    Because I love kissing air. MWUAH! MWUAH!

    What gets to me every time are the many picture she has with her
    cheek puffed out. What is this, a visual metaphor for cheap blowjobs?
    Some days, when I feel stressed out, I feel
    like puncturing one of them with a needle. POW! Pho all over the place.

    The image “http://xcd.xanga.com/0a406176644b214683122/b10522683.jpg” cannot be displayed, because it contains errors.
    Holding her glasses in place until the super-glu sets in.

    The image “http://xd4.xanga.com/ba585a122973114683143/b10522699.jpg” cannot be displayed, because it contains errors.
    The most common response when one reaches her site. "HOOOMPH!"


    Oopsies! How'd I end up down here?!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!?

    But you have one thing going for you, Ms. Pho, at least you're not terribly
    ugly. When ugly, and I mean fugly, fatty, and one posts pics of themselves, it's extremely repulsive.
    Even still, that doesn't give you the right to post gigabytes of pictures of
    yourself (that shiets for the latest Paris Hilton voyeur!). Hell, you don't even provide proper reasons at times.
    "Here's a pic of me today!!!" "Here's twenty pictures of me walking to
    McDonalds!!!"

    No thank you. We don't need that.

    The image “http://x6e.xanga.com/19509176632b514683105/b10522670.jpg” cannot be displayed, because it contains errors.
    You're just lucky Ray Charles isn't there to find you mocking him, racist.

    But if you enjoy legions of stalkers, tons of eProps, and becoming a household name for narcissism, here's how to become a Ricebunny in 5 easy steps:

    1. Grow a vagina. Overnight, you'll notice numerous subscribers, a majority of them being boys recently hitting puberty.

      The image “http://www.msjensen.gen.umn.edu/webanatomy/Images/Other/female-figres.gif” cannot be displayed, because it contains errors.

    2. Buy only Sanrio products. Nothing more. If you can't find any in
      your local shopping area, go for the next best thing, cut and paste
      pokemon cards all over your shirts and jackets. Instant cuteness factor.

      The image “http://www.brother.co.jp/jp/hsm/card/image_pattern/sanrio.gif” cannot be displayed, because it contains errors.

    3. Apply make-up as much as you eat. That means 3-4 times a day. Or once, depending if you're anorexic.
      The image “http://www.jandjwholesale.com/makeup.jpg” cannot be displayed, because it contains errors.

    4. Now that you have a plastered face, whip out that digital camera
      and start snapping away. Be creative, place acorns on your head, smear
      dog turd across your cheeks, be wild, be Rice!

      The image “http://www.twosassysisters.com/images/AJ/acorn.jpg” cannot be displayed, because it contains errors.The image “http://www.cartway-kapers.com/images1/jokes.19.jpg” cannot be displayed, because it contains errors.

    5. Great! Now that you have amazingly cute pictures
      of yourself with
      leaves and twigs in your hair, and hundreds of Xanga followers, go about
      selling some artwork at gouged prices. God can't watch EVERYONE at
      once, so go and take advantage of the situation! $20 for an MSPAINT
      drawing, sure! $60 for a detailed photoshopping of my genitalia? But of
      course! The possibilities are endless. But it doesn't stop there! Use
      all that "hard earned" profit and spruce up your cosmetic collection.
      And the cycle continues.

      The image “http://static.flickr.com/8/6386246_1f993bbb18_m.jpg” cannot be displayed, because it contains errors.

Comments (1361)

Comments are closed.

Post a Comment