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CaKaLusa
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Name: Chris
Birthday: 4/26/1985
Interests: The internet, movie-making, digital photography, graphic design, getting the last word, masticating, music, the arts, and various sports involving balls that bounce.
Expertise: Dry wit & black humor
Occupation: Full-time slacker
Industry: Art & Design
Message: message meEmail: email me
Website: visit my website
AIM:  cakalusa
Member Since:
5/30/2002
 True  Premium
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| Back to the classics |
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Some favorite entries here.
Dig around with a quick search!
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SubscriptionsSites I Read
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| Once upon a time, a guy asked a girl 'Will you marry me?' The girl said, 'NO!' And the guy lived happily ever after and rode motorcycles and went fishing and hunting and played golf a lot and drank beer and scotch and had tons of money in the bank and left the toilet seat up and farted whenever he wanted.
The End.
Best story ever. Short and sweet, like a pedophile's dream.
 Oh hail yeahhhh! | | |
| My Son is Gay.
That's a shame.
This car is full of epic fail.
 Vrooom! Mad air vents for mad horsepower! 125 to be exact!  Watch out! I only use regular unleaded for this bad boy!  Never mind the extra weight that I carry with this spoiler! I need extra downforce when going downhill.
Answer to yesterday's Boy/Girl Challenge.
Tis a boobie!
Degrading Sports Photos of the Day What's that funkay, funkay smell? Oh, the smell of losing! One look at your mother in the nude and I was like...
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| Cakalusa's Boy/Girl Challenge:#55.
You have 1.74 seconds to decide.
 Lesbian or Gay pride? You decide. VOTE NOW! | | |
| Questionable Text Messaging.
Initiate awkwardness....now!
If I were to ever lose my phone and have someone pick it up, the first thing they would notice is the imminent danger they would face if they decided to keep it--once I track them down, my iron fist to their ear canal would be fairly ironic (can you hear me now? no? good.). The second thing they would notice, besides my ravishing good looks and rather questionable videos saved in the media album would be my text messages. To give you a sense of what they would find, here are some text messages I've sent in the past month, typos and all:
- "Do you have chigger repellent in ur trailer?"
- "Uh ohhhh. most ktown bars dont id...i dont think?"
- "Might be dragged off to an LI spot. what do i do? what do i doooo?"
- "Mad tequila. the lady keeps shoving them in my face. oooooh diiiner here! BRB"
- "Why would u think that? steyoopit."
- "Hahaha...so awkward."
- "Woo woo.."
- "Okay to film at ur house?"
- "Tilt is back."
- "Always blame the Asians."
- "I will leave my fate in your hands!!!"
- "Slutty? and is this the same girl u mentioned last time?"
- "Dropping a hot one now. so it should be perfect timing."
- "Many times. once with the nypd car...."
- "Arrrgeej. i gotta peee so badot too! the thing s i do for yoi"
- "Prob not. will be dead like a suicide bomber."
- "You see what happens without my supervision?"
- "Flat screen tv and bluray. Rough...like how u like it!"
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| The Most Embarrassing Story.
Winner winner chicken dinner!
 Going down! First floor.
"This one time I REALLY had to go pee badly and left immediately during classes with the teacher's permission to go use the restroom. I literally ran there and once inside the girls restroom, I slipped and landed in some wet stuff. Assuming it was water, I immediately went inside the stall and peed . When I was done, I realized my pants were still wet and tried to dry them when I realized it smelled funny. IT WAS PEE ! WHO THE FRICK IN THE RIGHT MIND MISSES AND PEES ON THE FLOOR ?! Don't answer that, aha. But anyway, I had to walk into the dean's office with the stench of pee on me and literally had to lie to the teachers saying it was just juice even thoug the kids near me smelled something funny. Because I did not have PE, I wore the bright neon orange shorts for rentals that totally showed off my hairy hairy HAIRY legs. I am telling you, I did not shave until 8th grade and I wore jeans the whole frickin' year. You've seen Manny from Ice Age, right ? HAIRY AS THAT . NO JOKE ! I had to go through the whole day like that with people calling me names and looking at my legs. So freakin' awkwarddd .
That's not it, when I got home, I had a red spot on my undies. I came out to my mom who talking on the phone and told her, "Mom, I think I'm bleeding down there." She stopped talking and turned to my cousin with phone still in her hand yelling, "MY DAUGHTER IS GROWING UP ! AHHH ! NEXT THING YOU KNOW IT ! YOUR GONNA HAVE HAIR DOWN THERE !" I dont know if today was just torture day for me but she had corn laid out and you know that long hair outside of the corn ? She was demonstrating that my hair down there would look like that ! Ew.
Ohyea, I realized that as I had a red spot on my undies. I had a red spot on those rental shorts. So not only did I smell like pee, I probably smelt like blood too, and had a spot to show everyone that I was on it on bright orange shorts that showed off my extremely hairy legs. WOO :D
The End. LOL ."
Congrats to Kat! She wins Xanga Premium!
Okay, who turned off the gravity? Funny, guys!
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