Interests:The internet, movie-making, digital photography, graphic design, getting the last word, masticating, music, the arts, and various sports involving balls that bounce. Expertise:Dry wit & black humor Occupation:Full-time slacker Industry:Art & Design
Marriage Woes: Marriage Proposal #16. Please take a number and have a seat.
This has almost become normal for me. Having my name brought up during a discussion of marriage doesn't surprise me anymore.
Friend's Mom: Ask Chris if he wants to make several thousand dollars. Friend: What the hell? Me: ?!?! Does this include the use of cameras? Friend's Mom: Your cousin needs to come to the states and finish school here. I don't want her staying in the Philippines with her deadbeat parents. Friend:I don't get it. Friend's Mom: I'll buy Chris' tickets, he marries her, brings her here, and I and the other aunties pay him for it. Me: .... Friend: O_O Friend's Mom: What? Friend: Why Chris? Me: Yeah...why me? Friend's Mom: I dunno. Isn't he the only one of your friends who isn't gay? Me: ROFL Friend: O_O Friend's Mom: So you think Chris would be interested? Friend: I'm going to bed.
Now that my title has sufficiently attracted .0245% of the female population, I can continue with what I really wanted to discuss: BOWLING.
Excellent. That attraction rate is now at .00035%
Lady Gaga picks up bowling.
Bowling is getting hardcore. What was once a recreational sport is now becoming a fulltime dedication. I bowled four days in a row starting last week. I bought a shoes, a new bag, and spent half of Saturday watching Youtube videos on how to perfect my game. I even spent a few hours looking at balls (okay, that came out wrong) and ended up buying one a few days ago. At work, 75% of my emails are bowling related and exchanged with my friends who are picking up bowling lately. And just last week, started my own bowling league (if you build it, they will come!).
Next up: Potbelly, dramatic decrease in female interaction, and receding hairline. Grammar FYI.
Coworker (in monotone voice): I AM A BROBOT! A BROBOT! Me (in monotone voice: DOMO ARIGATO, MISTER BROBOTO! Coworker bows. Me: We should host a BroBQ. And go Browling. And go on our brotor broat and fish!
Stories of the Annoying Jewish Coworker: #51 Never a happy place.
Coworker: I wanna die. Me: Being here is a good start. CW: Yeah. Especially with the network issues. Me: Right? And AJC. CW: Her laugh... Me: Oh my god. CW: Sounded like cattle dying. Me: It's no laugh, it's a shriek. CW: When you kill a vampire, that's what it sounds like.
Many AJCs hear round the world.
Cakalusisms. Talking about female bowlers.
Her: Especially the ones who wear flannel and look like men. Me: Lesbians, you mean?
True
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