February 18, 2007
-
A Wonderful Time of The Year
Why is it that we have two national holidays commemorating the deceased, a day for
celebrating
a groundhog's shadow, and a day where we celebrate a sailor who
massacred/raped/pillaged a plethora of Native American tribes? With
Chinese New Year today, what about us Asians; particularly the
Chinese? What about Chinese New Year? Of all holidays, we
should be able to have a few days off.What's so great about this
holiday you ask? Well, besides the cash, there's more to it than the
average American sees. That's why I'm here to help you uncultured swine
understand this Chinese holiday.What holiday can possibly top this particular one? Hardly any. It's practically four holidays wrapped into a nice package. Those holidays include: July Fourth, Halloween, Thanksgiving, and Christmas. Here's how:
- July Fourth: We're Chinese, we have illegal fireworks, we set them off on this day. Case closed.
VERY patriotic... - Halloween: Although it's
not customary here in the US, back in the motherland of ol' China,
children dress up in red costumes, decorated in floral designs,
including a mask that's sure to scare away creatures (like your mother) both living or dead.
Can you tell which one has a penis? Neither could that Caucasian vacationer... - Thanksgiving: There's
an
old Chinese saying, "If you don't finish all the food on the table, we
take a kidney or testicle/ovary" (somwhere along those lines). On this
day, the
family traditionally has to serve eight dishes for good luck. You're
probably going to end up poking out a new belt hole after this dinner.
My favorite is cat. - Christmas: This is where
it all goes down. This is why most Chinese children
love this holiday (and don't you deny it), the cash. Red envelopes stuffed with cash make this
probably the most expensive day of the year a parent can experience. Well, except when the tuition bill comes in the mail.
Comes in a wider variety of colors like: red, wine, red, and communist red.
In Summary: Aren't you greatful for being Asian sometimes? (Yes, I'm assuming 99.93% of those reading this are Asian.)
I work for $0.32 an hour. Any takers?
(Hella old pic from 2002. Taken during the shooting of my first short film.) - July Fourth: We're Chinese, we have illegal fireworks, we set them off on this day. Case closed.
Comments (124)
Where's my mawnny, bitch?
ooh
hunger
yep, i'm glad to be asian.
mmmm cat.
I want your hat.
Am I asian?
Happy Pig Year!
WEST FTW!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
RAIDEN!
*gong*
MOOOORTAALLL KOMMMBAATTT!!
money.
I'm in it for the money.
the buffets in the city are being shutdown. overcrowding, the chinese started a riot.
happy new year, mang.
i didn't get money. but i got shoes. <3
happy new year. i made $88 this year. which is amazing considering i got about 5 bucks last year.
I hope your New Years has been good so far!!!
Hum.
Why is it called "Chinese New Year"?
I think it's also Korean New Year, Japanese New Year, Vietnamese? Vietnam? Viet? New Year.. et cetera..
You're.. Mandarin? Cause the "gong xi fa cai" thingy. Right riiiight?
Happy NEW YEAR!!
Love,
Your .07% Non-Asian Readership
oo oo, I pick that one in the middle, muggin the camera.
to be PC.. it's LUNAR NEW YEAR. because anyone who follows the lunar calendar, is celebrating a new year. that includes: vietnamese (Chuc Mung Nam Moi!), Korean, Japanese (lotta buddhists there!), Caucasian, and a slew of other races/ethnicities.
happy LUNAR new year.
ching chang choong chong chai!!
Haha Chris is wearing a rice picker hat.
Haha, I need to start visiting relatives during this holiday... XD
u colored ur post this time =p
everyone is always skinnier in 'back in the day' pictures. i've recently fallen in love with ma la huo gua (?)... [numbingly spicy hot pot].
im waiting for my red envelope chris
yes, we all love the moolah. some of us are trying to use chinese new year as an excuse to skip physical activities.
i got mula in a hello kitty red envelope! haha and yes everything you said is very true!
<3Always,
Nary
I went out and celebrated Chinese New Year, even though I'm Dutch or something.
I could use a couple of red envelopes stuffed with cash.
gong hay fat choi.
I'm grateful being Asian in that I'm smart woohoo!
July Fourth: We're Chinese, we have illegal fireworks, we set them off on this day. Case closed.
THATS RIGHT HAHAHHAA
good analysis. happy new year, my yellow fellow.
go back to working in the rice paddies!
Bring the moolah and the food, and I won't bash you in the head with my bag of rice =P
ahhh i remember firecrackers, we set them offf at our driveway and the neighbors reported us to the police =)
yellow power?
funny!
Now I understand why my neighbor used to give my brother and I that red envelop every christmas instead of a Christmas Card.
gong xi fa cai!
the chinese have crazy superstitions that i could never understand.
heck yeah! im glad im half chinese
happy new years to you. :]
龍 馬 精 神! (Long Ma Jing Sun - May you have energy like horse and dragons.)
I have NEVER heard of that saying.
haha, i won't deny it; i love getting those red envelopes. man, what i didn't like was that i slept late and was awaken at 6 ish in the morning just to eat some meal!
Red envelopes galore!
Benissimo!
GUNG HAY FAT CHOY.
i'm crazy-stuffed like a turducken!
gong xi fa cai xin nian kuai le etc etc
It also includes New Years.
Gong Hei Fat Choi!
Lai See Dau Loi!
know wat, im actually 1/4 Chinese..bcos my grandfather's a Chinese. in the family, I'm the one who looks really Filipino.;p some of my cousins have really porcelain skin, really blinding white.. (that gets a lot of attention..weird), and little eyes. Me? i'v huge eyes, and 'kayumanggi'skin. i don't know when the Chinese New Year is celebrated (i jst know it's not every January 1st).
i'm Asian and that's enough i guess.lol
God bless you and a Happy Chinese New Year kind one!;p
Yes, Chinese New Years definitely owns all US holidays. Man, why don't we even get an extra weekend off?
Hmm...no pictures of you celebrating with a broken arm? Did you at least dress up? Fireworks even? "Pig" out? (ahaa...)
envelopes with cash, gimme gimme gimme!
woot! sun leen fai lok, gung hei fat choi!
Hellz yeah! I didn't come up with the Halloween on my part explaining how big this is to my classmates who ask, but it pretty much sums it up very accurately .....Time to go looting ^__~
I made 110$, but I had to share it with my brother.
so 55$
So true.
I've missed reading your words.
I'm part of the .07%, but your blog often makes me wish I was Asian.
Pass the cat!
ROFL.
why is chinese new year i late feb.. why is there a chinese new year??
why is chinese new year in late feb.. why is there a chinese new year??
OMG AzN pride!!!
Happy New Year
Yep. An old sheep entering another pig year. It's a cycle.
Lmao is all I can say.
(Not asian btw, .07%)
i ate your money
rawrr
If I had only know how much fun it was I'd have started celebrating 25 years ago. (I wonder... can I celebrate 2 or 3 times a year till I catch up?)
Yeah, we were pretty pumped at work about getting take out to celebrate the New Year. Then, the guy who runs the place asked my coworker how old she was and told he that he wanted to fuck her. To her face. And she was by herself. She came back empty handed, mumbling something about shoving fireworks up his ass.
how much money did you get? Seems to me the older you get the less money you recieve
omg that pic is so old
^_^
I really want one of these stuffed pigs I saw... unfortunately they wear being sold in by a streetside vendor in China. ;_;
The third one in the rainbow dress and the one on the far right in red.
asians rock `;]
grateful* ;]
nice hat. i have a pic from tennessee with a similar hat =X
hello I like $$$.
haha, if as u say that, i would feel less regret to lose the chinese new yr holiday~
you said hella.
well we are just cool like that!
Happy belated New Year.
Shing Nian Hao ^_^ haha, you're too right
Happy New Year! $$$$$! success and good health!
u were joking about the holidays rite? asia doesn't celebrate halloween or thanksgiving & not xmas the way n.a. does. but they do celebrate easter (4 the xian koreans)
0.32 is a lot in china. u can get a full meal on a dollar.
hahaha....happy new year!
Hope you ate lots and received many hong baos! wishing u rong rife and good hearf. ^_^
i love chinese new year!
too bad this year my parents ditched me so that they can go celebrate it in hong kong. assholes.
O.O whos that poor skinny kid...?!>_< *Feed him food*
Red envelopes are MY favorite!! Oh, and my kid's favorites!!
happy new years!
Noooooo im not asian!
I'm down with the Asians but I must say, VIVA MEXICO!!!! I'm very grateful for the mexican holiday representing "mexican independance" on may 5th. It's really not the mexican independance say, and we're not gonna tell anyone either. On what other day can mexicans (and all the other hispanic people who can pass off as one) go out, get shit faced, and take a quick "siesta" out in public without being harrassed by cops????
Ha, Happy Chinese New Years ^_^ how much did you get?
Money money money I got love in my tummy!
woohoo! i may not be asian, but hell, i sure am surrounded by 'em. ah, china. haha nice oldie picture... my white foreign ass only got 5rmb in red envelope money. damn! and then i was told i couldn't even spend it...that i must keep that shit in my wallet for a whole year because it will bring me greater wealth and prosperity. ha! i think i will go buy a coffee now.
peace and happy new year.. oink.
Hella old = 2002?
You're so new school.
-LkVs
rice hats rock.
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