August 18, 2010
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Top 10 Signs You Need To Go On A Diet
I can’t even tell you how many times I’ve compiled lists featuring 10 signs you need to go on a diet, but every time I do, it takes me back to my time spent in in one of the greatest areas of New York -- Queens. I took this "Diet and Exercise" class while I was in school and I highly recommend anyone who has the opportunity (or is eating a Twinkie while reading this) to take such a class, do so. It will gross you out and teach you everything you need to know about maintaining a healthy body, which will in turn help develop a healthy mind. Are you done eating that Twinkie yet?
For those of you who do not have this luxury, remember these 5 simple rules.
- Calories consumed should be less than daily calorie expenditure for weight loss.
- Exercise (at least 30 minutes) three times per week.
- Eat 1g protein per lb of lean body mass daily.
- Your blender is not a chocolate shake shot glass.
- If you look like a wrecking ball, you’re doing it wrong.
If you follow those 5 simple steps, you’ll be fast on your way to not looking like the following 10 extremely depressing examples of human life. Feel free to use this coupon for Footlocker if you need some workout gear.
10. You Are A Wrecking Ball
I think my cousin is stuck inside that thing.9. You Are A Soufflé
Enough for seven MySpace photos.8. The Blender Is Your Shot Glass
This is a "shot."7. Your Purse Hangs Sideways
Poor sneakers...6. Your Neck Has A Stomach
I've heard of double, triple, even quadruple chins. But this is like the Mr. Everest of chins.5. Is That Even Possible?
Dude, you seriously need to get that checked out.4. That Chainmail Was Made For Galahad’s Horse
Good luck to the person(s) who help him out of that.3. No One Can Tell If You’re An FF Cup Or An A Cup With A Belly
Where's Waldo? Oh...wrapped around your tree trunk legs!2. No Geek Will Lay You Even As Cosplay Princess Leia
Did she just swallow Jabba the Hut?1. You Can Do The Splits Because You’re Sitting On Your FUPA
Ripped jeans in 3...2...1...
Comments (559)
No fat chicks.
This is too funny.
Okay, you officially win the internet.
uhhh i like the breasty posts better
Uuuuh FUPA... *puke*
Those pants/suspender/thing in the first picture... priceless! Where does one even buy those?!?
@deux02 -
So do I, so do I...
Bring back boobie tuesdays. Please?
@MochaSprinkle -
Apparently LA!
p.s. I'll be in LA in Sept!
@whotakethmycoke -
Hiatus. In the meantime enjoy this! Next week will be enlarged tumor Tuesday!
@CaKaLusa -
Oh boy... this should get interesting.
I don't think some of those photos are real...it's just not humanly possible!
FUPA? I'm about to urban dictionary that one.
FUPA. Linking this to all my friends with fupas asap.
@aimvpr -
I thught he has for a while already....
Keep eating, and someday you, too, could appear on a list like this!
I get the picture. I am going on a diet.
I'm eating grapes while reading this...
I'm surprised you didn't get 100 angry comments.
Wow, that poor thing in the first picture. That's a whole lotta butt.
That's someones little girl.
@iccgomani -
little is irony.
)=
I hope this does not become a habit and replace my boobie tuesdays, Chris.
ew.
DUDEEEEEEE Chris! I just came back from the gym too! T___T my butt is sore but looking at these makes me grossed out and want to work harder.
So should I thank you? or be blinded by all these junks in their trunks?
Don't make fun of fat people. They have feelings too.
@tsotofu -
Was going to say the same thing...
Anyway, Chris, which one of of these is your girlfriend?! I demand to know. Text me the number!
No.7 definitely has a thyroid problem and No.10 has an extreme form of Steatopygia, which she'd still have in some form even if she lost weight because it's genetic.
Poor things.
oh chris, you make me smile
:O thats intense
loll the mt everest of chins
@eternal_relevance -
I agree. Can't believe I enjoy boobie tuesdays way more than this
I going to need you to introduce me to some of those lovely ladies featured in those pictures.
oh wow. don't know what to say except i'm so glad i was snacking on celery and hummus instead of a twinkie.
oh gosh
I'd hit it.
I had to urbandictionary 'fupa'. And DAMN on #6! O_O
Omg I hate to be bluntly rude but these photos make me GAG. Ugggh how could anyone let themselves get this damn fat. I swear if I was this big I would just completely STOP EATING.
and yes I know there's people who can't help weight gain. I'm not talking about them. I'm talking about the fat asses who eat and make themselves like this.
ugh.
I want to laugh but I'm scared vomit will come out as well. Yum.
ahhhhh I'm never eating again!!!! lol thank you!
hahahahah
ONE MAJOR WAY TO TELL YOU NEED TO DIET IS WHEN YOU ENTER A ROOM 1 MINUTE BEFORE YOU CAN SEE INSIDE THE ROOM
This is sooooooooooo wrong! LOL
*shudder* even *I* like booby posts better.
#8 sums up the obesity problem we have in America.
I wonder if it's painful to be that fat.
There goes my breakfast...
hot damn.. i was eating, man.
o0o i'm working on getting that fat!!
LOL, omfg.
LOL. dude, you are lord of the internet.
that whale of a chin has got to be pathological
I wonder what it must be like to be fat.
Just the thought scares me
Idon'twanttogetfatIdon'twanttogetfatIdon'twanttogetfat.
I feel like a horrible person for laughing at these pictures. But that's almost the point where a diet is not just a diet, it's an intervention.
oh dear lord that was scary...
but i have to admit, i'll def. bookmark this when i'm feeling fat.
fatspo!
by the way, I'm your 100th eprop on this entry. release the balloons and confetti from the ceiling.
LMFAOOO AT NUMBER THREE.
Number five looks pregnant.
Where are the bewbies?!?
Gym inspirational.
Errrr. I don't even know what to say.
I have FUPA paranoia
lol
down with the fattys. just kidding. not really though. im sick of this country being associated with obesity.
oh my god this is terrible o.o
I'm gonna puke up all my 900 calories of disgust right now :S
Thank you for making me wanna do 9 hrs straight of cardio!
:O
n2ty
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