September 27, 2010

• Drunken Fall.
  No livers were harmed during this event.
  
  I don't believe I've told you guys this story. But if I have, too bad. This story never gets old.

  

  Three years ago, a bunch of friends and I went to Atlantic City, New Jersey. Those unfamiliar with AC, it's a washed down version of Vegas. Afterall, this is where the wonderful world of Jersey Shore was born. So like any AC trip, we all got plastered. We take a cab to a local casino and rush out in excitement. For some reason, right after I stepped out of the car at the casino, I (drunkenly) thought my friends were chasing me (???). So I ran as quick as I could (like the cops after Black people), I jetted into the bathroom and slipped. I fell on my back and slammed pretty hard (like your mother does with my bed). I look to my right and see a janitor stop midway through his mopping and just shake his head, like "Yep. there goes another one."

  
  Instead of a kitchen, it was a restroom. And instead of a banana peel, I think it was a soiled condom or toilet paper.

  After regaining consciousness by laughing it off, for some reason, I kept yelling, "RICKY TRIPPED ME! RICKY TRIPPED ME!" with my teeth flying out with each word. Meanwhile, nobody was behind me for a good 30 feet. To wrap it up, by the end of the night, I was so tired and gone, I began hanging onto my friend's shoulders for dear life where they took me to restrooms. I timed it perfectly to throw up into sink. I filled that sink up like a gulf coast needed BP oil, much to the dismay of the janitor I saw an hour prior.

  Now, did I tell you about my awkward story about the Jewish kids? Maybe next time...

  

  ---

  Degrading Sports Photos of the Day

  
  Let's take a closer look, shall we?

  
  Hold on! You have a fly on your back!

  
  Whatever. It was light beer anyway.

  
  Floor. Full of vitamins and minerals.

  • 9:16 pm
  • 23 Comments