January 3, 2011

  • A visit to the Bay area: Part 2 of how many I feel like.
    The penis' sweet revenge. [NSFW]

    In my previous journey around California, things were a bit more tame. There was no cake in the form of male genitalia that was passed around like a toy or inexplicably forced near other male orifices--though some female bystanders were just as unfortunate. But this day was a new day. It was a homosexually charge fright night in the middle of a busy club/lounge. I stood in the corner chugging my drinks hoping to leave unscathed (I think my pants came home with me still in one piece). In fact, I'm still trying to bleach the images out of my head. If you're afraid of phallic objects, quickly scroll down and just leave a random comment about how much you enjoy The Price is Right.

    http://x36.xanga.com/071f46f535733259612355/w206744083.jpg
    Yes. Not even 24 hours into my trip and I was greeted with this.

    Now here's the secret: Connected and hidden beneath the table is a tube that is filled with milk. The prank was for the birthday boy, Jon, to blow out the candle, which happened to be the penis. As soon as he would lean over, someone would stomp on a pedal which would squirt a faceful of milk on the birthday boy via the penis. Before the evening began, the cake creator tested it out. He ended up squirting a table 10 feet away. AWESOME! It's a cake Joanna could appreciate.

    http://xd4.xanga.com/e13f70ea12532259612357/w206744085.jpg
    All Asians. All the time.

    http://xf5.xanga.com/ebcf52f235430259612342/w206744071.jpg
    The birthday boy, Jon, unsuspecting of the cake.

    [Video of cake blowing. Video not shown for your sake and virgin eyes.]

    http://xa6.xanga.com/382f62ead2535259612359/w206744087.jpg
    After everyone sang happy birthday, either there was a huge sugar rush or the alcohol hit us all after only .02 ounces.

    http://x7d.xanga.com/f7cf47ea72533259612376/w206744104.jpg
    Bracing himself for impending doom.

    http://xf2.xanga.com/ca6f71ea32532259612378/w206744106.jpg
    Kids, do not do this in church.

    http://xca.xanga.com/7c3f24ea35431259612341/w206744070.jpg
    Yes, there's actually a female in this photo.

    http://x5b.xanga.com/380f75ead2532259612379/w206744107.jpg
    After all that overwhelming homosexuality I had to straighten (no pun intended) things out. BOOBIES!

    Degrading Sports Photos of the Day

    http://xb3.xanga.com/a27f4337d8430264014655/w210489154.jpg
    Mr. Phelps has a bong anywhere, any time.

    http://x44.xanga.com/bd4f752464c32264014659/w210489158.jpg
    It's a bird! It's a plane! It's...I'm gonna fall right on my face!

    http://x2a.xanga.com/8aaf712444c33264014658/w210489157.jpg
    This is why the Cowboys sucked this year!

    http://x64.xanga.com/e49f472524c33264014656/w210489155.jpg
    Guy on bottom left looks so bored!

    http://x6d.xanga.com/b4cf5137d8431264014660/w210489159.jpg
    Damn, Tiger Woods really lost himself in 2011.

    http://x34.xanga.com/700f2a25d8431264014661/w210489160.jpg
    The newest hit sport: Blind Speed Skating.

    http://xd9.xanga.com/9d2f502bd8431264014662/w210489161.jpg
    I JUST GOT IT WASHED!

    http://x31.xanga.com/45ef5433d8430264014663/w210489162.jpg
    Getting your head in the game takes a new meaning.

    http://x8d.xanga.com/dfdf4231d8430264014664/w210489163.jpg
    BRUM! BRUM BRRRRRRRRRRUM!

Comments (34)

Comments are closed.

Post a Comment