January 10, 2011
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Memoirs of an Asian Mother.
I answers your hearth questions, fatty.
Chinese herbal medicine bitter? GOOD! YOUR TONGUE WOLK THEN!Herro Eberybody!
Rast time, I am answer some diet question, free of charge. You rucky. This time, you not so rucky. This time, I charge 2 eProp and "lecommendation"! Cheap Xangan, GO EPLOP ME NOW FOL VELY GOOD ADVICE! Okay, now I go answer your questions.
Q: What are your thoughts on soda?
Posted 1/5/2011 11:32 PM by Roadlesstaken
A: Amelican all about "going gleen." Soda can can be recycle. You drink lot, you get energy, you go to recycle and make money. Repeat. Evelyboldy win!
Drink soda. Make money! Save pranet!Q: Is chocolate bad for me?
A: You clazy? HERRO...cocoa bean! Veggie-table! Cocoa beans best feel-good food alound!Q: Is swimming good for your figure?
A: If swimming good fol figule, exprain whale to me. YOU NO SWIM! You no Michael Pherp or Cuban swimming to Amelica!Q: any thoughts on treating acne? can't wait to see the answer. this made my day.
Posted 1/6/2011 1:11 AM by lyratjoe
A: How long moon exist? How many peopre think moon velly pletty and lomantic? How many crater on moon? You want long rife rike moon, you rive with crater face!
Head made with cheese!Q: Dear Cakalusa, I feel like this post just made me fall secretly in love with you. I feel like this is the best one yet XD Lol it was great because in my mind I heard an Asian woman saying this...ah <3
Posted 1/6/2011 2:14 AM by Nevermore_Nightmare
A: Who this Cakarusa? I DR. KWAN, STUPID! But I assume you talk about me. You can rove me. I also take hug. Just don't hug me if you have the HIVs.Q: will masturbation make me go blind?Posted 1/7/2011 9:02 PM by adrenalinexxx
A: If I catch my son do that dirty play with wee-wee, he go blind...WHEN I SMACK HIS EYES WITH BIG BAMBOO STICK! So yes, you go brind.Q: Is getting in-shape important for my lifestyle?
A: Hey! 'Round' is shape! Round like Chicken McNugget I eat for today runch!
80 nuggets of McPain.Q: Dr. Kwan, what if nobody comments on your blog??? (cough cough- chris- cough cough)
Posted 1/5/2011 11:40 PM by shatterFocus
A: HEY WHITE DEVIR, YOU GO EAT MORE THE BULGER KING, THE MCDONARD, THE KFC AND MORE GET FAT!Q: I have a question for you... This morning there was a piece on The Today Show that said babies can be considered obese!!! Babies as young as nine months, to be clear. What are your thoughts on this, Dr. Kwan?
Posted 1/6/2011 12:53 AM by oOo_itsJuJu
A: Fat baby is ugry baby. Dr. Kwan no rike fat baby, so I put up for China adoption! No ruck? Put on baby treadmill! Still fat? Give to Angerina Jorie!
Oh, you think he is the so cute and chubby? WHEN HE DIE FROM BABY HEART ATTACK, IT NO FUNNY NO MOLE!Q: Hey Dr. Kwan, What is the most unhealthy Asian cuisine?Posted 1/9/2011 8:38 AM by Calamaki -
A: The most unhearthy Asia food is Asia food you not eat. You not eat mean you sick or have mental disease and starving youself. Why you so thinspo?Well, I am hope this have clear up any misconception you have about food and diet. I am Dr. Kwan and thank you vely much fol joining me today. If you am have any question, leave a comment berow and maybe I answer it, maybe I don't in next post of my.
Sincerererery,-Dr. Kwan
Comments (70)
oh, no...
lmao... damn.
oh... your profile pic (suit) is hot. ;D
@HisKeiki -
oh, why sank you!
did you get more footprints with the picture of the hot girl as your profile picture? the one you have on your xanga plug. that's hilarious if it did. i also felt a little more allured to read your post haha. this post was awesome, with or without the hot chick photo as your profile picture.
@REDandBLACKphenomina -
not sure, I haven't compared my traffic, but I would assume sex sells.
Thanks for the praise!
Bahaha XD
Dear Dr. Kwan, I'm sorry that I was mistaken in placing my secret love for Cakalusa. It's actually you =P And I don't have the HIV so hugs all around!
@Nevermore_Nightmare -
That Dr. Kwan is a real b*tch, isn't she?
Dr. Kwan, how do I get rid of my Asian eyes?
Hmm what sup wirf duh azn accent
@CaKaLusa - Eh. It's cool. She amuses me =P
Yes, way to put that White Devir in her place!
@hollywoodfever91 -
you no rikes?
@aimvpr -
dr. kwan will get back to you in the next post about that.
@Nevermore_Nightmare -
oh good! whew.
@Roadlesstaken -
Right? she be holding us Asians down!
I think that forehead hickey is having some surprising after effects.
i sink yoh plofire peekature need mo creavage. she frat as baby boy, dat obese chinee baby he hab mo boob dan her.
Dr. Kwan,how can I meet famous people in Korea?
Love, Shakira.
@LoBornlytesThoughtPalace -
HOW DID YOU KNOWWWW?
@snapeful -
fratter than flat boy?
@mycontinuity -
Show more boob. Wait, she already does!
Love this! LOL! BTW Your profile pictures are always hot!
@CaKaLusa -
I think it was your mother's accent.
@zoetik -
ah, thanks!
@LoBornlytesThoughtPalace -
DRATS!
ruvving dis ronnng tymmme
crater face (Y)
thanks for the comment and advice on treating acne.
the moon is velly pletty and lomantic...jess rike dr.Kwan.
does spending a lot of time on the computer make your eyes go bad?
hahahahaha are you sure she is not Peter Chao's mum?
OHHHHhhhHHHhhhhHHHhh <3 HAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHA and this is why I married into your famary
i liked the swimming one.
WIN!!!
this post made my head hurt. lol
LMAO hahaha...
lol. i don't really have anything else to say.
LOL
I am doomed,I love to swim,hate chocolate and Soda...but I love Asian food,maybe that cancels all the rest out?
i knew i recognized that question...
lol thats a cute baby
What a wise crajee asian rady. Definitely will have to think about her when I make my daily decisions. "exprain whale to me. YOU NO SWIM!" haha very interesting!
so awesome. keep this coming. =)
i want to pinch that baby's rolls.
...WHEN I SMACK HIS EYES WITH BIG BAMBOO STICK!
Can't decide if I like cakalusa more or dr. kwan more. That photo at the top wins hahaha
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