January 20, 2011

  • I HATE HOUSTON!

    I just returned from my trip to Houston, Texas and I really didn't like my time there. I hate how I had fun there. I hate how there was so much to see, eat, and do (like your mother). I especially hate how I had good friends to join/meet me on my trip and kept me entertained throughout the trip. THE NERVE! I'm never going back to that place ever again...for the next 30 minutes. I took some photos and videos of the terrible time I had there. Go look. I don't care.

    http://sphotos.ak.fbcdn.net/hphotos-ak-ash1/hs780.ash1/167074_571724991947_57600103_32599793_7181930_n.jpg
    STUPID LONE STAR STATE!

    http://sphotos.ak.fbcdn.net/hphotos-ak-ash1/hs885.ash1/179380_571725031867_57600103_32599795_4260324_n.jpg
    STUPID ALEX, BOOKING A SUITE FOR US FOR AN AWESOME DISCOUNT!

    http://sphotos.ak.fbcdn.net/hphotos-ak-snc4/hs1395.snc4/164720_571725116697_57600103_32599799_7499275_n.jpg
    Insert Godzilla here.

    http://sphotos.ak.fbcdn.net/hphotos-ak-ash1/hs791.ash1/168190_571725181567_57600103_32599801_6863780_n.jpg
    The Galleria, full of posh stores nobodys like yourself could ever afford!

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    I hope someone falls and breaks a neck!

    http://sphotos.ak.fbcdn.net/hphotos-ak-snc6/hs059.snc6/168914_571725271387_57600103_32599805_2064973_n.jpg
    Alex being a fob. So foburous!

    http://sphotos.ak.fbcdn.net/hphotos-ak-ash1/hs882.ash1/179059_571725475977_57600103_32599811_6982095_n.jpg
    Seconds before the bird pooped in Alex's mouth.

    http://sphotos.ak.fbcdn.net/hphotos-ak-ash1/hs749.ash1/164069_571725715497_57600103_32599816_6991997_n.jpg
    Rudy's BBQ was delicious. So delicious it made me hate Houston even more. Do come here if you hate having a delicious meal of meats.

    http://sphotos.ak.fbcdn.net/hphotos-ak-snc6/hs079.snc6/168953_571725830267_57600103_32599818_3000584_n.jpg
    Yeah, it was tender. Yeah, it was juicy. I almost wanted to spit it out it was so good.

    http://sphotos.ak.fbcdn.net/hphotos-ak-snc6/hs045.snc6/167512_571725865197_57600103_32599819_3091669_n.jpg
    Brewed exclusively for Texas. Whatever. I expected it to be brewed just for me!

    http://sphotos.ak.fbcdn.net/hphotos-ak-snc6/hs051.snc6/168174_571726179567_57600103_32599830_2170610_n.jpg
    Some random people I found off the side of the street. They were good company, and I hate them for that!
    Yours truly, hodtos, FlipGuy31O, BranmacFeabhail, Jeannie_dot_com, SonyChak, and Roadlesstaken.

    http://sphotos.ak.fbcdn.net/hphotos-ak-ash1/hs766.ash1/165747_571726573777_57600103_32599838_8126082_n.jpg
    Alex, goes in for dessert. I suppose I am really sweet after all...

    http://sphotos.ak.fbcdn.net/hphotos-ak-snc4/hs1360.snc4/163275_571726713497_57600103_32599841_2993426_n.jpg
    Years of yoga clearly paid off.

    http://sphotos.ak.fbcdn.net/hphotos-ak-snc6/hs045.snc6/167503_571726828267_57600103_32599848_484872_n.jpg
    Not so big.

    http://sphotos.ak.fbcdn.net/hphotos-ak-snc4/hs1362.snc4/163413_571726863197_57600103_32599850_275107_n.jpg
    I've mastered the art of solo photoshoots. Penis shot #1

    http://sphotos.ak.fbcdn.net/hphotos-ak-ash1/hs790.ash1/168029_571726948027_57600103_32599856_1866513_n.jpg
    Some butterfly museum filled with--you guessed it--butterflies. They were so colorful and vivid, I almost wanted to step on all of them.

    http://sphotos.ak.fbcdn.net/hphotos-ak-snc4/hs1371.snc4/164347_571727012897_57600103_32599860_3376493_n.jpg
    Poison Ivy should be around here somehwere.

    http://sphotos.ak.fbcdn.net/hphotos-ak-snc6/hs050.snc6/168005_571727062797_57600103_32599863_4514001_n.jpg
    JUMP!

    http://sphotos.ak.fbcdn.net/hphotos-ak-snc6/hs242.snc6/179069_571727187547_57600103_32599872_7608732_n.jpg
    You think you're so cool with your sugar water. I SPAT ON THEE!

    http://sphotos.ak.fbcdn.net/hphotos-ak-ash1/hs771.ash1/166131_571727262397_57600103_32599876_4317998_n.jpg
    Oh, look at you, all fresh from a cocoon. WHATEVER! I shed skin every seven days! You're not so special.

    http://sphotos.ak.fbcdn.net/hphotos-ak-snc4/hs1368.snc4/164084_571727292337_57600103_32599878_6908229_n.jpg
    I WILL EATCHOO!

    http://sphotos.ak.fbcdn.net/hphotos-ak-ash1/hs785.ash1/167511_571727332257_57600103_32599882_2650270_n.jpg
    Silence of the gas.

    http://sphotos.ak.fbcdn.net/hphotos-ak-ash1/hs797.ash1/168709_571727481957_57600103_32599892_7925999_n.jpg
    The ladies praying for mercy from the butterflies. They be killas!

    http://sphotos.ak.fbcdn.net/hphotos-ak-snc6/hs007.snc6/165786_571727551817_57600103_32599896_732450_n.jpg
    Goatse.

    http://sphotos.ak.fbcdn.net/hphotos-ak-ash1/hs766.ash1/165722_571727676567_57600103_32599904_3460338_n.jpg
    Surprised to be taking photos with these people. They think just because I enjoy being around them they can take a photo with me? PFFT!

    http://sphotos.ak.fbcdn.net/hphotos-ak-ash1/hs781.ash1/167113_571727861197_57600103_32599911_5285189_n.jpg
    Your mother in 20 years.

    http://sphotos.ak.fbcdn.net/hphotos-ak-ash1/hs765.ash1/165693_571728430057_57600103_32599941_7991329_n.jpg
    I see squirters.

    http://sphotos.ak.fbcdn.net/hphotos-ak-ash1/hs771.ash1/166131_571728599717_57600103_32599948_1479504_n.jpg
    I thought Houston would be a lot less hillier.

    http://sphotos.ak.fbcdn.net/hphotos-ak-snc6/hs242.snc6/179026_571728634647_57600103_32599949_239187_n.jpg
    Creeper!

    http://sphotos.ak.fbcdn.net/hphotos-ak-ash1/hs754.ash1/164534_571728669577_57600103_32599951_2268586_n.jpg
    Penis shot #2

    http://sphotos.ak.fbcdn.net/hphotos-ak-snc6/hs069.snc6/167960_571728714487_57600103_32599952_355513_n.jpg
    Penis shot #3

    http://sphotos.ak.fbcdn.net/hphotos-ak-snc4/hs1364.snc4/163659_571729482947_57600103_32599976_2298670_n.jpg
    Penis shot #4

    http://sphotos.ak.fbcdn.net/hphotos-ak-ash1/hs781.ash1/167101_571728749417_57600103_32599953_6068456_n.jpg
    Penis shot #5

    http://sphotos.ak.fbcdn.net/hphotos-ak-ash1/hs782.ash1/167240_571728789337_57600103_32599954_6823224_n.jpg
    Penis shot #6. Small? Your sisters (Yeah, that's right. Plural!) didn't think so.

    http://sphotos.ak.fbcdn.net/hphotos-ak-ash1/hs792.ash1/168238_571728819277_57600103_32599955_1918140_n.jpg
    Penis shot #7

    http://sphotos.ak.fbcdn.net/hphotos-ak-ash1/hs792.ash1/168209_571729053807_57600103_32599964_1241173_n.jpg
    A normal photo for once? (Left to right) FlipGuy31O, your king, hodtos, Jeannie_dot_com, Roadlesstaken, and some random guy who decided to sit at our table. I think he said his name was TheTheologiansCafe.

    http://sphotos.ak.fbcdn.net/hphotos-ak-snc6/hs069.snc6/167975_571728993927_57600103_32599962_5025682_n.jpg
    Dan showing some love to Alex. I blame the Houston water.

    http://sphotos.ak.fbcdn.net/hphotos-ak-ash1/hs757.ash1/164826_571729163587_57600103_32599966_5099694_n.jpg
    This random girl, DangDatsTracy, found in her natural habitat of a bubble tea house posing for a photo with me and the guys. I think she signed up for the gangbang.

    http://sphotos.ak.fbcdn.net/hphotos-ak-ash1/hs756.ash1/164730_571729492927_57600103_32599977_202177_n.jpg
    Turtle sex. Cowabunga!

    http://sphotos.ak.fbcdn.net/hphotos-ak-snc4/hs1379.snc4/163180_571729587737_57600103_32599981_1251266_n.jpg
    Tracy surprising us with gourmet cupcakes. Delicious? Yes. Thoughtful? Definitely. Are we still friends? Sure. Does that make me hate Houston even more? Of course!

    http://sphotos.ak.fbcdn.net/hphotos-ak-ash1/hs740.ash1/163286_571729747417_57600103_32599984_6307720_n.jpg
    At a sushi restaurant with Jeannie_dot_com, SonyChak, your highness, BranmacFeabhail, DangDatsTracy, blubunni326, and FlipGuy31O. The delicious meal only fueled my hate for Texas even further.

    http://sphotos.ak.fbcdn.net/hphotos-ak-snc6/hs264.snc6/179207_571729887137_57600103_32599989_1029614_n.jpg
    My last real meal in Houston (thank GOD!) was dim sum. If I ate one more bite of those delectable bite-sized things, I'd of voted for Sarah Palin.

    http://sphotos.ak.fbcdn.net/hphotos-ak-snc6/hs001.snc6/165120_571729996917_57600103_32599992_3592359_n.jpg
    Think this looks delicious? Pfft. I almost wanted to push it off the table (after eating half of it).

    http://sphotos.ak.fbcdn.net/hphotos-ak-snc6/hs080.snc6/169083_571730016877_57600103_32599993_3756007_n.jpg
    Made in China. In a sweatshop. Do you feel better? LITTLE CHINESE CHILDREN LOST THEIR HANDS TO MAKE THIS PHOTO POSSIBLE!

    http://sphotos.ak.fbcdn.net/hphotos-ak-snc6/hs265.snc6/179386_571730151607_57600103_32600000_2546852_n.jpg
    Free advertising.

    A video recap of the awesomeness (NOT!).

    Houston, Texas, I hate you. I can't wait to return again someday to make sure you know it!

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