August 29, 2011

• Secrets 47 - PARODY.
  See here for the original post.

  You Xangans have secrets, I have answers.

  

  And so do the rest of us. *hands over a razor*

  

  Those jeans? Yeah, they make you look fat.

  

  F*ck myself? Don't mind if I do!

  

  

  Next time you see her, purge on her. Yummy!

  

  Close your eyes. Problem solved.

  

  Start rowing! GOD!

  

  Is Jamie a boy or girl??

  

  There's always Myspace.

  

  

  Have you two met?

  

  I really hope your dad isn't dead.

  

  
  Interesting. Go on...

  

  You'll be okay. If you're Asian, pack your things.

  

  You and I should hang out more.

  

  ...ROCK AND ROLL? WHAT?

  

  Are these adult DVDs? If not, gtfo.

  

  Be a stripper. Everyone loves strippers.

  

  
  You aren't.

  

  Problematic, you say? Only one man can handle this situation...

  

  

  Instead of asking for help, ask for seconds.

  

  Pick the one with more zeros in their bank account.

  

  Steal her back, obviously.

  

  And the Xangans who read this.

  

  Ride an ostrich or other delicious animals to work.

  

  

  I'd hit it too after she got slit. Wait, what?

  

  Or do her. I KNOW YOUR TRUCKS.

  

  Looks like somebody has their glass half full!

  

  Live in Kansas. You'll be in the middle of everyone.

  

  Me too! And he ( @pika_whoosh ) was made in China, just like the real Barbie dolls!

  

  Oh, it was... *creepily climbs out window*

  

  

  But are you fat free? NO FAT CHICKS!

  

  Miss you too, honey shnookums!

  

  If only life were based around eProps and Plugs.

  

  Hooters is quite reputable, actually.

  @confessionsandsecrets

  • 6:09 pm
  • 47 Comments