September 6, 2011
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The Facebook Friends You Hate (And Love).
I am the first to admit I am a bit addicted to facebook. The problem is, a couple people can make it a horrible experience, so many stay away. First off, most people are agreeable and quite nice. I emphasize this, most are enjoyable and even slightly interesting. It's always good to get a comment or a "I Like This" on the bullshit you post. Well, at least the bullshit I post. There is however a plague of shitty facebook users that account for 60% of updates. I may like the person, but sometimes, I sure hate their updates. Here are some of these personas.
The Hater (I Hate Everything That is Popular) - This is basically aimed at one guy. He's the guy who loves to talk shit on everything people love. Hey, that new Watchmen movie was pretty cool - he thinks everyone who likes it has Down Syndrome. Hey, I sure want to see "Where the Wild Things Are," - he thinks you are a a retard, and he will let you know about it. He was funny at one point in his life, but no longer, desperately clinging to his one time funniness through controversial opinions. This might be me as well.
An uplifting story that speaks to everyone's soul, I sure HATE ITlThe Baby Complainer - I can't sleep because my god damn baby kept me up. Poor effing you. My baby has a brain infection, awww too effing bad. Look, I'm not against propagating the human species, I'm just against babies turning awesome people into complainy, whiny bitches. You may love your baby, but no one else does.
They need to do way instain mother, who kill thier babbys, because these babby cant frigth back?The Baby Complainer Enabler - Honestly the most angry I ever get in life is when people express sympathy to the baby complainers. "Oh, I hope it gets better," or "It was the same with my baby Jeremy," piss me off more than the people talking about their babies. The worst is that I know most of these people to be offensive and opinionated people, they just choose to be sympathetic douches.
Oh the anger!The Self Promoter - For the most part we love these assholes. Hell, I am one of those assholes. But god damn, must you tell everyone about every show, every concert, every article, every dick you're sucking?? We want to hear about the person, not their next concert. Their whole life is the next show, and that's not what we care about.
Yeah yeah yeah, I get it, you're playing a show somewhere.The Women I Love (who never update) - Most males will have 5-10 of these women among their facebook friends. They're the women you are in love with and you hope will send you a "Let's make love" message. Unfortunately, it will never happen. In fact, they probably aren't "single" as their profile suggests. They don't give a shit about anything you ever have to say, because they are busy banging hot guys.
If she sees this, maybe she will bang me. Most likely she won't see it and if she did see would be extremely creeped out. Freaking women.The Sports Shit-Talker - Look, I love sports as much as anyone, even more than most. The guys who talk shit to their friends who happen to be going against their team are the worst in all of facebook (especially if they're Yankee fans). You've had a whole god-damn season to talk shit, but you only do so if your team is winning in the playoffs. Most of the asshats are fairweather fans, who know nothing of their sport unless their daddy's team has made the world series. Screw the Yankees, and eff the Lakers. There, I said it. Go to hell - facebook sports shit talkers.
I dislike the Angels too, but seriously, I hate this guy so much, but he's still my friend.The Wrist-Slasher - Woe is me. Life presents nothing but despair and depression to me while others get infinite happiness. Their facebook updates are vague and depressing. Sometimes people wonder what in the hell they are talking about, but their worry is enough to keep these people from actually slashing their wrists.
Today was as horrible as yesterday.The Applicator (mafia wars, pirates etc) - Holy god damn shit, I know you've reached level 89 in Mafia wars, but is there anything else in your life? Usually not, because the only updates we get from these guys is how good they're doing at facebook games. It's really easy to remove that option, but they insist upon everyone knowing how good they are at 'Pirates'. Please, tell me about your baby, or your sports team, anything except your 'Yoville character".
Help me Confront Agostino Cleto.The Lazy Activist - Look, I really appreciate your political links. Hell I usually comment and "like" them. But beyond your posting them, you never have any opinions on them whatsoever. You'll get a flood of comments due to the controversial nature of the post, but you never respond. Hey, I'm guilty of this too, but show your 'friends' some respect. Have a discussion about it rather than post and piss-off.
Seriously, eff the 'English' system.The Public Messenger - This one shocks me as some people actually do not realize that when they send someone a public message, that everyone in the public can read it. For me, it is one guy in particular who sent "personal" messages to almost all his facebook friends reminding them it was his birthday. I am certain he meant them to be private, because there were questionable statements about his girlfriend. Nonetheless, they were enjoyable - but probably uncomfortable topics of conversation to everyone he/she knew for the next few weeks.
Via Thearchnemesis
Comments (392)
Cakalusa likes this.
This.
fb vurr naice!
Phew, no screenshots from me.
@CaKaLusa - Prettyuglyjenn likes this
TIMMY POKES CHRIS
I am semi-guilty of the Political one, 'cept it's not quite with Politics. Truthfully, I enjoy observing more, but giving my two cents won't hurt either; after all, it isn't like my opinions are "above" everyone else's that's involved in the discussion.
Glad to see there's no category for endless sunset and dog pictures...though I probably just gave you an idea. LOL
I hate when people over update. I mean get a life!! Do I really need to know you're in the bathroom because you just ate that burritos? LOL!
We have plenty of fun when we're on Facebook. Too much fun.
Hey!!!! the girl in your picture is my niece!!!
Kidding.
hmmm. What kinda user am I? HMMM??
i like!
I'm friends with a couple, and I hate everything about their ways of posting. SHE is incredibly whiny anyway...and I don't mean depressed, I mean just whiny. "needs to study
" "studying sucks 
" "economics is sooo difficult 
" parents suck" "my horse had diherrea" "studying is boring" "horsebackriding is sooo exhausting". Her wall is fll of this, and she updates at least 2 times a day. HE talks in his regional dialect, in totally exagerrated ways (and gramatically incorrect), and also in a weird form of internetlanguage: " *tired is*" "*with HER on a bench sits...<3*". Even worse: they need to tall the whole world what a happy couple they are and inflence each others posting style. I want to puke reading "his love" or "her love" or something vague like "is so lucky". I mean once or twice in...a year...ok...but NOT EVERY DAY.They also kust love to say "with his", instead of "with his girl" or something.
Also they both think they are amazing photographers, because they have expensive cameras. Once he took a picture of her horse from a low angle and called it "perspective". (So if I take a picture of my nostrils it's an amazing perspective too? ) Or he uses the macro tool and calls a picture of a plant "macro". Same with languages. Being able to introduce oneself and countig to ten does NOT justify putting "French" or "English" to your profile. argh.
It has even gotten so far that people ask each other "can't you tell C. that her fb updates make her very annoying?"
ugh end of rant. I needed to get that out, lol.
facebook AND xanga - the "that picture looks nothing like you" photo.
@MaximusMan - Right? Like, I know this one guy, he's wearing this tux shirt thingy...I swear it looks nothing like him.
hey! you forgot the Over Updater! that person who updates about EVERY. SINGLE. THING. going on in his life. his posts would usually go like this:
**** is walking to the grocery store
**** is taking a bath
**** is sleeping
**** is BREATHING...
sheezz!!!
@mr_jin_tonic - word. he ain't that fancy, yo.
Nothing like a little "Hide posts from newsfeed" that can cure any one of these.
(And I've actually used this feature for family. Because said person is white trash/lowlife and really needs to clean up his/her life. And until then, hidden from my newsfeed and I don't feel guilty to defriending.)
But yes, I've seen all of these and probably guilty of it every once in a while. But I also try to limit everything so I don't feel like I'm in "everyone's face" about it all and others feel like I'm "interesting." (I'm probably not that interesting.)
@MaximusMan - Seriously! Multiple occasions where someone comes up to me in real life and I'm just shocked at how much they DON'T look like their facebook picture! But I guess you do what you gotta do ; )
There should be "like" button for this post.
I don't have to deal with any of this =D
What's your facebook? Can I add you a friend?
@aimooaimoo - facebook.com/cklau
I soo agree with many on this. But I would say I may be guilty in some ways lol.
Haha, this made me laugh
Be honest with them, it'll make you feel better (and them). Tell them, "this is the 40th time you've complained about your baby, do you realize that?" And I love posting this link for suicidals: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=7pO4e9NEYh0 Of course I try to say something nice to them afterwards. It's amazing what you can tell people when you insult them and say something nice in the same sentence or paragraph. Oh and don't say something mean about the baby's brain infection. That sounds serious.
copy pasta posts. grghfdasl
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I don't troll facebook. Too public.
To get away from all those distractions before exam, I deactivated it. I seem to have more spare time after I stop using it. I hate those silly updates in Newsfeed. Really annoying!
Facebook says: "all your base are belong to us."
LOL Obviously I don't fall under any of these categories. haha
I think you are the biggest Facebook addict I know.
@CaKaLusa - jeez, what a bitch.
haha. I am definitely guilty of some of these...but on Xanga. lol. On FB I'm (currently) the silent stalker - who reads through everyone's updates...and says nothing. Bwahahaha!
@lovejennyy - wins.
@cbr600 - vull naice.
@milfncookies - I saved those...for my private folder.
@prettyuglyjenn - me too!
@Timmmmmmy - SUPERPOKE!
@Southeast_Beauty - entitled to their own opinions, indeed!
@CareyGLY - I WAS CLOSE...
@Ladiiee - *checks in to bathroom*
@fLiPgUy31O - MUCH FUNZ.
@bakersdozen2 - WHew!
@AffinityInUnderstanding - the superpoker.
@under_the_carpet - hahah...rants are always welcome here.
@MaximusMan - OH SHNAP!
@mr_jin_tonic - WHO IS THIS GUY?
@dee_jay - *is using facebook*
@Proud2B2003 - yeah, that is definitely a nice feature to use.
@youngvan - SO MUCH MALE MAKEUP!
@suefa_lee - Or rec!
@babixling - damn it!
@Rbroadhurst - used sparingly, it'll be tolerable.
@firetyger - I'm glad it did!
@phantomFive - lol @ that link. will use that next time.
@RulerofMasons - werd
@I_love_Burma - *spams*
@windoftheforest - WHAT YOU SAY?
@jennfaceee - surelyyyyy
@AsToldByKatie - AM NOT! :p
@justjase - stalky stalky!
this is so true. LOLS.
HAHA I'm definitely a Facebook gamer. No matter how I set the privacy settings to block non-gamers from seeing game posts, they'll still see some of them. Facebook fail.
haha the wrist slasher pic is hillarious!
I quit FB a long time ago! There's no privacy whatsoever. They should add an option where friends can only see certain friends. I don't want my friends from around the world to contact people I know at work. I also don't want co-workers stalking my hot university friends. FB is fucked up. What did that girl mean by "your kind" anyway? What do Asians and green, fried pickles have in common? I can think of several inappropriate associations, but I'm asking about her thoughts, not mine.
@aybabycakes - indeed!
@SillyHelena - must..stop..playing Sims social!
@dirty_sweater - slice slice
@Pearls_of_Trust - Just block your friendslist from being viewed!
@CaKaLusa -
I read the update posted by FB. They said that it's possible to hide your list of friends, but people can still find ways to go around the block through third party applications. So your contact list isn't 100% protected.
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I'm new to blogspot and I'm having a difficult time. How can I change the background to a picture I want?.
I have a web page for my business and there is a link to my blog on it, it want to show the blog posts on the webpage not just the link and I can't figure out how to do it. Any help would be appreciated.
I want to start a website for my Roller derby team, all we have is a myspace right now. How can I start a website that has a dot com, or html, etc, that I can design on my own, and keep up on my own so that we can actually have a website for fans to go to???? Thanks any and all help appreciated..
What is the default username and password for Joomla Stand Alone Server?
I have a blog using Blogspot. I would like to ban a specific person from viewing and/or commenting. I am not looking to make the entire blog password-protected or moderate comments. I just want to ban a specific IP address. How can I do this?.
Joomla Software vs Dreamweaver Software which one is the best?
May I use Wikipedia content in my blog without violating the copyright law?
My computer crashes at the start of a streaming video or of a full windowed video game?
What are some extensions known to slowdown firefox browser?. . Which one can make firefox the more slower?. . Can you tell me some of them?.
I just tried to watch a National Geographic video on YouTube to find a message saying that the copyright holder had blocked me from viewing it because I'm not in the USA.. . Similar to HULU, and Comedy Central.. . Why?.
I currently have a two column Joomla website, however I don't like the sidebar being on the right. Is there a way to either convert a two-column jJomla website into a three column one, or at least move the sidebar to the left?.
So I'm obviously new to the site. I figured out how to customize my blog page but now I need some help learning how to delete the posts that seem to automatically be there as examples and create my own..
How can I import my blog to another gmail account?
Thing is, I've just migrated to WordPress. However, I have a number of people who have subscribed to my feeds from my blogger blog. What should I do to ensure that they now receive updates from my WordPress blog? . . FYI, I have a feedburner account..
Copyright? Can I distribute publically distributed legal articles to my clients without violating copyright?
I need to earn a little extra money and I am a very opinionated person so I feel like writing blogs would be a good start to making some extra cash. I am a full time college student and I also have a $20 hour a week job but I am still having problems making ends meet. Thanks for any help!.
How can I make a personalized banner for a blogspot blog?
WordPress blog posts being emailed to another persons blogs subscribers?
I follow all the installation instructions, after downloading, but Mozilla Firefox blocks the installation..
How can u add a flash slide show to your blogspot?
How does a computer virus getting formed?. I have a lot of computer viruses lately but thanks to Norton Anti-virus and Malwarebytes Anti-malware my computer is 100% secure. But how does a computer virus formed? Do people actually make it and they spread it throughout the internet?. . Please tell me more about computer viruses cuz I don't know to much about it I just get rid of them..
Then you have arrived at the right place my friend.
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