October 31, 2012

• Surviving Hurricane Sandy.

  72 hours of Sandy blowing everyone on the East Coast.
  That slut.

  

  Day 1
  8am - I've the day off. Woohoo!
  8:01 - Going back to sleep. This week is going to be the best week ever!
  1pm - Hmm, it's not so bad outside. Just misty. A few leaves moving.
  2pm - My nails are getting long, better clip them.
  3:30pm - Wind is picking up. Nothing crazy.
  4:25pm - Time for some Battlefield 3.
  5pm - UGH! The power is flickering.
  5:20pm - NOOOOO! Power is out! I'm sure it'll return soon.
  5:35pm - Trying to build a house out of playing cards in my yard is proving most difficult.
  6pm - No MTA service in NY? This is crazy, but interesting at the same time.
  7pm - Okay, where's the power?
  7:09pm - Praise Jeebus! Remembered I've an outlet in my Jeep. Getting my laptop/hotspot action going on, followed by admitting internet addiction.
  7:30pm - Wind is really picking up. Should I take my kite out?
  8pm - Oh god, I hope my ice cream will make it through the night!
  8:45pm - Radio is on and there's crazy flooding!

  
  Good job, Johnson, you found that leak!

  9pm - I call upon Thor to power my house to watch Monday Night Football!
  9:01pm - Damn it.
  9:16pm - Can't tell if my tree is swaying or my house is shifting.
  9:50pm - I see flashes of blue in the sky but no thunder. Apparently it's transformers exploding. NO, OPTIMUS, NO!
  10:25pm - I wonder how long I can last without my phone.
  10:27pm - I MUST CHECK THE LATEST STATUS UPDATES!

  

  11pm - I just sent out an evite for my looting party. This will end well
  11:15pm - Well, the convenient part of taking a candle everywhere around the house is after taking a dump in the bathroom.
  11:30pm - Still no power. Am I really going to bed before 12? I feel like a grandpa.

  Day 2
  8:29am - A flock of birds are seeking refuge under my porch during this hurricane. Part of me is "awwing" while my stomach growls. Decisions.
  9:30am - Listening to the radio now and there's lots of destruction. Hope everyone's okay! The hipsters can go though.

  
  Woohoo! Found that Tetris piece.

  10am - Breakfast time! Ice cream...lots and lots of ice cream. I guess it's okay.
  10:20am - Contemplating going into work to charge my phone,make coffee, and take a shower. But the zombies will eat me!
  11am - Still no power. I'm going to start looting if there's no power tomorrow.
  12pm - I hope we don't have work tomorrow. But it's such a waste without power!
  12:30pm - Contemplating building a jetpack.
  1pm - Just remembered there's a outlet in my car. I'm mother effing McGyver with this ish.
  1:25pm - Time to catch up on the internets!
  1:28pm - Wow, is Facebook depressing or what?
  1:30pm - Jersey Shore blown away? How will they gym, tan, and do laundry?

  
  And if you look closely enough, you can see a re-used condom from Snooki

  2:20pm - Lunchtime! Let's see, mint chocolate chip or vanilla bean ice cream?
  3pm - I took a walk around the block and there's a huge tree that fell down. I wish somebody would take my planking photo.
  4pm - The line for the gas station is literally around the block. I'm gingerly pouring gas from the gas can onto the street as I cruise by and honking my horn. 'MURICA!
  4:03pm - So I hit a squirrel. Sue me!
  40:30pm - Going to the market for some supplies. I'll go Walking Dead on anybody who gets in my way. Now where did I place my butter knife?
  5pm - ELECTRICITY! WHERE ARE YOU?
  5:10pm - Whoever said that Chinese Water Torture is the worst form of torture has clearly never experienced life without electricity for more than 48 hours.
  6:45pm - My mom is listening to the radio and dancing to "Beat It" by candle light. I guess she's the first to go insane. We'll miss her.

  
  A photo of your mother after she walks past me.

  7:26pm - That package of raw bacon looks really tempting right now.
  750pm - Did I just hear a zombie lurking outside? NO! YOU CAN'T HAVE MY BRAINS!
  8pm - My friend, Tommy is coming by. We're having an electricity party; seeking any place that's open and plugging our phones in.
  8:05pm - All the lights and traffic lights are out. It's everyone for themselves. Time to put my Grand Theft Auto skills to the test. GOOD LUCK, EVERYBODY ELSE!
  8:15pm - Okay, so nothing's open.
  8:35pm - We're having cheese, meats, crackers, and drinks over candlelight. No homo.
  9:30pm - TwitFaceMail time!
  9:36pm - Well, that was far more depressing than before!
  10:30pm - Bed time. At this rate, I'll be sleeping at 7pm!

  Day 3
  12am - Shoot me now.
  12:30am - Shoot me now.
  1am - Shoot me now.
  1:30am - Shoot me now.

  

  2am - Shoot me now.
  2:30am - Shoot me now.
  3am - Shoot me now.
  3:30am - Shoot me now.
  3:25am - Shoot m--YAY! Power's back!

  • 6:27 pm
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