The great debate of 2013.

Looks like your mother's dildo has arrived.

A recent post on @olwd's blog surfaced recently, comparing men with their sexual battery-powered counterpart. As I was reading this list, I couldn't help but wonder how women could even compare this inorganic object to the real thing.

So here's my list of

1. Who's going to replace your lightbulb when you can't reach?
2. We'll stomp that spider out when you're cowering in the corner, hugging your vibrator.
3. We can change your tire. Or oil. Or anything that requires tools.
4. You won't deter that mugger with a dildo. Well, maybe if it was a giant purple one.
5. That blinking 12:00 on your VCR will blink for an enternity without us.
6. We can lift things up, then put them down.
7. Most of us aren't "Made In China."
8. We can do your taxes.
9. Who's going to offer you a coat when you're freezing? Sure, try and pull out that dildo of yours to keep warm.
10. We can hold doors. Though dildo make for great doorstops (don't ask).
11. You can invite us to parties.
12. You'll never misplace us behind your bed.
13. Who would you prefer introducing to your parents? "Mom, dad, meet Mr. Shakes-a-lot."
14. We can wash ourselves.
15. You wouldn't need to replace us every few months, unless you're Paris Hilton or Lindsay Lohan.
16. We'll laugh at all your bad jokes.
17. We'll tell you bad jokes.
18. You can't take a dildo to a dinner date. Not outside of Japan, I don't think.
19. We can finish your leftovers.
20. You can hold our hands in public. A dildo, not so much.
21. Good luck posting that new Facebook relationship status with "Dildo"
22. When you're watching a scary movie, instead of our hands, enjoy snuggling up with a dildo.
23. We can hold your hair up when you're violently vomiting into the toilet.
24. We'll tell you what you want to hear when you ask us how the dress makes you look.
25. Dildos will never compare to the real thing.

If we left females to accessorize cars.

Need a new read? Check out http://www.momusshrugged.com/. Momus Shrugged is a blog dedicated to the art of satire, mockery, and derision.

That's a really nice ocean view!

Here's a spinoff of @un_filtered's post of 100 general weaknesses; I'll be listing weaknesses of the opposite sex. I'm only doing 25 because I'm already struggling thinking of 10 weaknesses. Ladies, I'm not that easy. And it further cements the old adage that women never stop talking about themselves.

In no particular order:

1. Back dimples
2. Unique hairstyles
3. That gap between the thighs
4. In with Internet culture
5. Nice tans
6. Red hair
7. Cute butt
8. Cute boobs
9. Eyeshadow
10. Non-Asians that can speak an Asian language
11. A nice smile/really nice teeth
12. Fashionable without relying on name brand clothing
13. Late night chats online.
14. Tasteful tattoos
15. Boy shorts
16. Winks
17. Whispering in your ear
18. Accents (Except fobby Asian. Dear god, no!)
19. Subtle brush of the boob on your shoulder
20. Nice perfume
21. Black nailpolish
22. Tank tops
23. Fitted caps
24. Long socks
25. Silver jewelry

That is one lucky wall.

What are some weaknesses of yours?

Oh, hello there! You're looking prett--OH MY GOD! In the latest edition of ugly girls and guys, we feature lovely Xangans. You might recognize a few of them.

@myxldove

Maritte

@babyxxxo

@nihaokeisha

 tastydolphinbabes

Gina

@nimbusthedragon

Florin

Do you wear fake glasses? Then  you and I might need to fight. Watch my video to find out why.

Head on over to @nimbusthedragon's blog. She shares similar views on her latest post.

Whether you're a fiery-haired lad(y), or appreciate them. We can all celebrate these wonderful (soul-filled) friends. Or we can combine the two and make a wonderful Booby-filled Monday. Two for the price of one.

This weekend was spent with my new girlfriend, Lara. She's the girl you know, but with a whole new makeover. So I've been playing lots of Tomb Raider and it's been a blast.

Boob Raider! I mean, Lara Croft returns in the latest Tomb Raider reboot from Square Enix, more polished than ever. This game has some of the most brutal deaths I've seen the protagonist suffer; boulders crushing her face into a pancake, and rods impaling Lara's throat to name a few.

Here are some recordings of my gameplay.

Part 1

Part 2

Part 3

The latest Tomb Raider reboot is a refreshing gaming experience. Lara seems far more vulnerable--someone you can relate to--instead of a gun-slinging acrobat. Watching Lara grow up from unsure academic to confident adventurer is a fulfilling gaming experience. It's a wild ride, incorporating many upgradable skills, abilities, and modifiable weapons, which deepens gameplay. If you're a huge gamer, or fan of the series, I highly recommend it.

Somewhere along the way, they completely failed. Can you spot them?

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An event weeks in planning. To celebrate (excuse to drink) for @Mkazama's birthday. From tears of sadness to tears of joy within an hour. It was a rollercoaster of emotions for this birthday surprise. you can enjoy a more descriptive, emotional recount through her post (which is TOTALLY not as cool and awesome). Or let the photos below, taken during the weekend, include you in our festivities vicariously.

Making it just in time to the hotel at Borgata.

The semi-failed attempt to surprise by a few key members, but a surprise nonetheless.

Cake, cake, cake.

Ciroc to see my cock.

It makes your jizz taste derish, or so the ladies (and some guys?!?!) say...

Cheering to a night of fun and friendship.

Big mistake in a bottle.

It gets rather homosexual, really quickly.

Churrs!

"Just take it," is the motto.

The untimely death of an article of clothing.

This has been the norm for the past months.

The women do not hold back.

Three seconds. A new record.
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Featured in this month's company newsletter. If you recall from an earlier post, this is that photo. I'm actually astounded they let this through. O'DOYLE RULES!