March 23, 2005
-
Gather around, children--allow unckie Chris to tell you a story involving ketchup and women. (wtf?)
The fun never stops, not when Chris is at work; today was no
exception. For lunch, I have hundreds (literally) of choices to head to
during lunch. Supportively, I choose Wendy's most of the time. Today
was no different. I ordered a biggie sized #8 (Chicken strips w/
Chipotle dipping sauce, fries, and sprite).So, as I take my order over to the condiment and utensils cabinet, I go
ahead and begin to squirt me some ketchup. I'm not sure how people
outside of NY get their ketchup (hey, Texans may still be crushing
fresh tomatoes for ketchup for all I know!), but we get little "shot
glass" sized paper cups to dispense ketchup into.
Now, here I am, gleefully licking my lips and squirting ketchup out,
but out of nowhere, a lovely lady comes up next to me--pouring ketchup
out just as well. She begins (surprisingly!) an obligatory greet with a
slight "hey." Nervous, I glance over, and nod as my hello.
That's not ketchup, children. Jesus never played with that stuff. It's wasn't Kosher enough. (I'm going to Hell for this)
Suddenly, she's staring at my crotch. I begin to wonder if she's
desperate. But knowing how I am, oblivious to everything, I don't keep
my eye on the ketchup. I glance down and to no surprise (since when
does my life ever get more exciting than this?), I have ketchup covering my hand. I now have a girl
staring at my mountain of red goop. So there I was, ketchup-covered hand
and all with a facial color to match the color of my ketchup hand.
My demise
The PS3 Debut. Commence drooling.
Comments (408)
*DROOLS*
I want it, I want it!
ps3.... I Think ill go for the Xbox 2.. or Maybe the Nintendo Revoultion
Whao! My man would be drooling right now too!
wow thats a cool PS3
PS3 wiz000000000000000t
Bravo. At least it's a cute story.
Whoa crazy ps3....
lmao-- nice Ketchup share.. pffft
wow...that is disgusting......
i am kinda disappointed...i mean u always seem so clean and tastful in ur humor...and then u have to go there....i think u might have lost a subscriber....
god bless
becca
you're not going to hell for that Jesus ketchup comment.
Oh when will it be released?
@_@ ps3....
heh. i remember once i was trying to carry four of those little paper cup dealies filled with ketchup in one hand... the ketchup containers tipped over in the palm of my hand and ketchep ended up all over my hand and shirt..
PROPS FOR "GOING THERE". I THOUGHT THE LAST POST WAS LAME, BUT NOW YOU ARE OFFENDING PEOPLE. WAY TO GO, THANKS FOR THE CUNITKICKERS SUPPORT.
awesome! to both parts
hahaha, you poor thing. hey, i bet it woulda been a good conversation starter..
lol, did she notice the ketchup and laugh at you?
we here in chicago also get our ketchup in the same manner.
some people are way to serious.
and i want a ps3 so very badly.
^.^
ketchup looks gross in the bulk
LMAO...........boy do I feel sorry for you, lol.......^.^. But don't worry, she's prolly been in more embarrassing sitiuations than this ketchupy one....where she's the humiliatee.....but tell me..did you manage to pull off a dignified escape?(not taht I would've...I would've stayed stuck there until....who knows when. .>.<.)
nice one!
*DROOLS @ PS3*
And I usually drool for no one.
Uh, yeah we make the ketchup down here in Texas. Holler.
gotdamn. atleast you got the satisfaction of knowing she was staring at ur crotch
cheating on me??? what???
hahah a
your too cute
ya..in texas we dont get the cups...we have to catch the ketchup in our mouths and drop it on our fries
hahaha.....awww....how sad.
the PS3 looks cool!!
Damn, you only spilt ketchup on your hand I thought it would have been on your crotch too!!!
"she's staring at my crotch...wonder if she's desperate..."
YES..b/c thats what ALL sex deprived females do, they stare at crotches drooling. yep, that's what my breaks consist of during school, staring at guys' crotches as they walk by... BEST day ever.
wow that's a nice design
i hate ketchup...
broken hearts and kissis - cathy
haha smooth. im familiar with ketchup packets in Texas
is the gurl HOT???
i'm gonna pretend i didn't read that comment under the "Passion of the Christ" pic. The PS3 looks sweeet!
ps3 looks so hot. ps3 looks so hot.
lol funny ketchup stories! and no, us texans don't crush our own tomatoes to get our fix.
Aww, at least it didn't get on your crotch! Hey, maybe you'll see her again at Wendy's sometime and she'll say some corny hookup line involving ketchup ("Want to ketchup some time?" Hey, I said it'd be corny -.-).
That's a nice piece of machinery.
it looks fine in my mozilla. your mozilla must need specs
mmm, ketchup, my fav food group
uhh....drooling not induced for the ps3 though....
lmao ur hilarious..i wanna ps3 noww
hola chris...gee wendy's sounds exciting =D gotta love the huge mess that ketchup makes.
i hung out with francis today- small world
wowzers how much do you think they'll charge for a box that allows you to waste hours of time? $300 sounds about right...
at first i thought that was some kind of camera. you know whre my mind is ^~^'
i get my psp tomorrow.
ahem. that will be the NEXTbox. not xbox 2. ugh. kidding kidding... and is that for real? is that the ps3?
HAHAH! sOoo then?? did she say anything? or offered to help clean ur crotch?
wait,she stared at your crotch and then you looked at your crotch? You should've stared at her chest!
lol nice xanga juhs dropping by with some random propz....bye bye tk sMile ttyl
Rei tzi seen!
wow...ps3 now? oh god...my bro wants a psp, but now there's a ps3??!!! aiyah...way to break a gurl's pocket
I <333 ketchup!
i hate those little ketchup "shot glasses". one dip and it's all gone! so i'm the greedy one standing there filling up 10 of those little things.
well at least it wasnt on your shirt? haha
awwww..how embarrassing...but it's still hilarious...hahaah
umm.. lol... care to share some ketchup?
hehe so very cute chris. at least you got it on your hand not on your penis-area. yea. be grateful for that. show-feet-uh luvs ya!
xbox 2 is me
its revolution for me.
that PS3 looked like a sony camera for some reason lol god im retarded x)
i thought you spilt ketchup on your crotch haha
DIDNT YOU HEAR WHAT HAPPENED AT THE WENDYS HERE! A lady found a finger in her chili. Yea, don't eat there anymore.
And the only thing I like about that ps2 design is the slot loadingness.
you are definitely going to hell - or maybe just purgatory. at least you recognized your sin.
that ketchup story is classic though. it would have been better if it had ended up with her licking the ketchup off your hand in a state of erotic orgasmic nirvana.
arglrlarlrllrrlrl wendysss
must've been a sucker to walk around with ketchup all over your pants.
.. you want the ps3 for the birthday, don't you?
That looks like a fucking playtoy.
Lovely ps3 mock-up. Props to the designer
LOL......*drooling at PS3*
ps3 looks like a gay radio
No, in Texas we have the little paper-mini-shot-things also. We are far less redneck than what you picture. Contrary to popular belief.
-The Secret Writer
Chris, you desperate boy~!!!
dork! hahha. very cute. well did you get her name at least???
I drool, and drool. How much have you drooled?
That's strange I'm in Texas and we get our ketchup the exact same way. We just don't fools out of ourselves in front of girls with it. lmao
^ make*
Haha just to let you know every bodies wendy's has lil paper cups and a squirter thing fyi even ppl in the south
Smooth. Real smooth.
OMG.. im in love with ps3!!!
HAHAHHAHA. i <3 ketchup sososoos mcuh. i eat it out of those little packets when i want a snack. haahahhaha yes, i am odd.
aw, thought unckie chris would drop ketchup on zee crotch, not hand. darn.
coming out with ps3 already? eh, it doesn't look that great. but that's just me.
haha ketchup hand
LOL.. oOoo.. ::drools::.. PS3!! =] ahahss.. and i expect that you are gettingg the PSP tomorrow?
aww, don't worry about it. a lot of people embarass themselves in front of strangers all the time! for example, Suzi (Imm0rtal_Ph0enix). hehe. trust me, i've been there. ^_~
at least none of your friends saw your humiliation.........or did they?
your friend's manhattan flat is...wow.
i love the decor.
Yea wuz watching the news... ppl r actually outside online in this weather to buy it first... crazy!!!
ahh ps3. my poor brother. he just got the new ps2 this month from my parents. i told his ass he should've waited.
at least you didn't have ketchup on your crotch.
lol wtf
really? i kind of liked that bright light on the heel of the shoe? no? thanks for the tip, though! maybe i'll just adopt the "unprofessional" style of taking random art photography, hehehehe...i am a novice afterall
hehehe...i guess the girl caught you red-handed! ok, so that was really corny! i can't wait for the ps3 and xbox2 to come out, guess i better decide which one i want! anyway, keep on rockin!
blah... Kansas is boring.. we just have little ketchup packets...
and i dont get why there is a ps3.. wats different about it? to me it just looks a crap load bigger.. and uglier.
your so fucking smooth
i use ketchup for everything. hows u.
Yes, people outside of NY get ketchup in the little cups. I quite like them. I thought you'd spilt ketchup on your crotch too. And the PS3? It looks like a sandwich somehow.
*sigh* chris, we've talked about this already...
hell has a special room reserved for you.
lol...interesting
kosher....that stuff is usually more cleanly...O.o;
geez, did you at least get the girls #? and yup, i hope you got to hell b/c thats were
all the interesting people end up ^_^
that ps3 looked like a camera at first glance.
so basically.. she was staring at your crotch cuz you had ketchup on it?
dude, that's a lame excuse for a ps3. people really have too much time on their hands to be making up shit like that. how come nobody comes up with legit looking systems when they make a mock-up they claim is real? remember the round [walkman lookalike] and weird one someone made a while back?
=]
suave. you make me salivate. mmm.
staring at your crotch. A total stranger.
Ketchup all over your hand. Ahh lovely
first impressions.
ps3 looks niiiiiiiiice
*sigh*
you're going to need mary magdelene (sp?) to help you clean that up, ay?
oy vey. hehehe
lol. ^_^
this made my day.
Yikes... Poor C-Lu. If there's anyone who doesn't need any embarassment, it's you...
PS3... Bah! Join the "Revolution"...
Dang is that what the ps3 is really going to look like??
ps3 looks cool.
weird looking ps3
That ps3 image isnt real...it's a photochop, sorry chris
you... are a sad strange little man... but quite humorous at the same time
::props::
::LATAR::
Oooh...new PS...nice.
Awesome page
haha. i was actually talking with a friend before i went out into the weird "rain" today... about umbrellas... and i mentioned something about how people who use umbrellas for SNOW, is a pet-peeve of mine... and then on my walk to the train, i got pelted for at least a block with sharp hail. *ouch. wouldn't have been so bad if i had a damn umbrella.
i'll ignore the Jesus ketchup comment though. random props, interesting blog! liked the thing on frankie muniz ;p
That's wayyy ahead of my time. O_o I can't keep up. LOL.
Is that a camera?? Teehee
Okay, now LMAO. You're so funny Chris, but I'm sure you hear that a billion times a day. Dude, awesome pic of the PS3! Can't wait for the PSP later today, we're number one on the waiting list, so let's see what happens!
Time to camp out! Later.
oh wow. You must get the most comments from anyone on xanga!!
SEXY PS3~!
Heh... Can I say "owned"?
PS3 wtf? I haven't had the time to update to ps2 yet due to financial mortgage debts...But I kinda hate play stations....they're the reason why I'm still a virgin at f#@#ing 22 years of age!
Joey
Sydney, Australia
HAHAHA poor you!
Michigan ketchup often comes in little shotglass sized cups as well.
The PS3 looks supacool, but in the picture it looks rather large... Hmmm....
hehe... that's cute!
coole.ps3...ii'll prolly never be able to afford it. but when does it come out anyway..:( i'll prolly try it at walmart...ha ha ha
hey there, that was a funny blog. hahaha Yes us North Carolinians have the smae squirting ketchup...hahahaha
oh yeah, you cute btw.
maybe deep down inside she wanted to lick the ketchup off ur hand...
mwahaha just read your last 4 entries. always good stuff
Dude i liked your joke i thought it was funny and if AHumbledGirlyFace doesnt think its funny its probley becasue she cant get funny jokes end of storey keep the jokes comeing
-Chris
have u noticed the 'limited celebrity edition' ketchup. for this week the ketchup says "WORTHY OF GOLD".
and you wasted all that gold on your hand. i hope you licked it off, or dipped sum french fries in it.
=p
what a beautiful story. May you have just as much luck with mustard and mayo.
eewww! horrible images!
aww your on featured content. =]
It looks like it should be a camera
hey...ranDom pRopZ....holla back nd leave sum luv..~peace~
that much ketchup is gross *barfs*
Ya know...I was watching a preview of the news here and i don't know which one but i heard someone found a human finger in the chili of a Wendy's-somewhere around here in the bay area. Seriously, heard it on channel 2 here but didn't bother to watch because they already showed a beautiful shot of the finger...-gag-
What happens if the gal is ugly? Will the ending be different??? *chuckles*
have you ever sat in ketchup? i have...and it was horrible. i was wearing khaki pants that day...and yeah, it was embarrassing. from that point on, i began to look at the chair before i sit down on it
heres the link to the recipe of finger chili! jahahaha..
just to prove this isn't a lie.
http://www.ktvu.com/news/4313026/detail.html
Oh man, ketchup is awesome.
She was really staring at your crotch because she wanted to have your babies.
-Ranah-
Well I least she staring at yo crotch....n' tha coverstion wit Pairs was really weird well next time I hope u do better.....well g2g read more Xanga's!!!!!!!!!!!!
Peace dude,
Trina
wow the PS3 looks nicee. It looks like a Sony Cyber-Shot camera but black and a little bigger. But that looks AWesome!!!!
damn. you wasted a perfectly good bottle of ketchup
Aww, that sucks. I thought you were gonna end up doin it with her in the bathroom.
O.O is that really what PS3 is gonna look like?!?! *drools*
PS3? is it for sale in the market now? wow~ so awesome stuff.
gah i HATE ketchup..random propz , nicee xanga
random propz
hey nice site
<3 jenny
holy crap that playstation is massive. lol hmm and i'm from texas..i'm pretty sure i don't crush tomatoes.
but it's cool..*random propz* anyway!
<3 nikki
dayam, that ps3 is TINY!!!!
I had the same think for lunch. Craziness.
Hey Chris! Long time no talk. Sorry…
Anyway, wow…PS3! It kinda looks like a projector in a way. But anyway, that’s a funny story. You get nervous around the ladies? I’ll never look at ketchup the same way again…haha…
Your xanga sucks!
just a random prop.
aw, that is soo sad.
Pa-lease
A Ps3
still a boy
But whatever.........i saw that u and me have almost the same b-day-----mine is on the 27th (4/27/1986)
ahww..haha..
~propz
are you sure it was just ketchup? maybe you're on your period =p
you'll be okay. she wasnt that hot anyways!
congrats you have too many comments!!
this is why im such a fan of those stupid little packets of ketchup i cant ever seem to open.
ps3...? *faints*
nice PS3...
*drooling* for the ps3 and ketchup.
smooth move, CaK.
you're confusing me
Nice.
-drools- I want that. I thought the Xbox was cool for me.
Asians against asians? WTF?
ps3 already?! it looks like a camera
cool story and awesome ps3.
"That's not ketchup, children. Jesus never played with that stuff. It's wasn't Kosher enough. (I'm going to Hell for this)." <<-- At least you can admit your faults!
Interesting ketchup story.
randomness...nice move not lol
ps3.. oh sooo lovely... maybe i wont get the ps2... do they play the same games?
i havent been to ur site in forver... that little white girl cracked me up =p
the ps3 is hott. random props
that ps3 looks awesome
that happened to me once. the woman was laughing and i said shut the hell up and ran away.
i am such a gentleman
pic of jesus freakin me out =P
propps
w0w dude is that st0ry really true? haha sweet!
asian 'represting
chris is such a dork!!1
i luv chris.
lol
nice site man. Rad. <3 Kate
watch out for the ketchup itll getcha everytime
Hello, we make great layouts! Come check it out! Take a request!
i enjoyed reading ur ketchup story
nice site =D
Niiice job Chris. Next time you can get it on your pants and make it look like you got your period! XD!
in Texas we grow our own tomatoes
, nah, same system. just gotta love texas
Awww, you are a cute liar. Man, your middle name isn't risk, just like I am not the Queen of England.
-The Silent Writer
lol.. random propz
grrr, that disturbs me- i just watched that movie yesterday:(
-and you jerk if you ever thought about it you would most likely cry if you got punched in the face, and if i were there with you, i would prove it!
hey your xanguh is awesome!!juss drop bye to say that!!holla
whoa is that actually the PS3 or a concept model?
aww that sux that u got ketchup all over you. ): i feel ur pain man </3
[also that ketchup in the second pic deserved that!]
I'm from Oklahoma (right on top of Texas, in case you didn't know =) ) and we have the same thing to put our ketchup in. We're not that behind on the times.
Playstation 3 <---
lols ...you have interesting entries! ...deng! ..thats a nice ps3!!! XD random propz!
Where'd you find that picture? Blargh, so many fakes out there, I have a feeling this is another one =
Damn that ps 3 looks good... but that ketchup is looking a lil bad
*drool* ohh i want it
You should have offered her to lick the ketchup off your hand! Kidding.
Btw we get little packets of ketchup at fast food restaurants here...hehehe...
what a silly boy
uhmmm... Jesus still loves you!
I think i'd rather have the XBox 2. Mainly because the XBox 2 has better graphics and basically EVERYTHING ELSE!
PS3 looks awesome.
HI!
that pic is so hot. to bad its a FAKE. i wonder what it really looks like.
well since you might turn the plug on crotch watch, how about maknig a new one to take its place?? something like facepalm times since wwe's writing has become so dumb recently (specially on some backstage segments) you could do a section pointing out some moments that made you facepalm =)its just a suggestion of course X3
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I read your posting and was jealous
Liz / Made this for my 2 1/2 year old and he actually ate it I ended up hnilvag the recipe, using dark turkey meat and topping it with black forest bacon. I did use one of those meatloaf pans that drain the fat away so I cooked it for 1 hour at 350 and it came out perfect. So excited to have another food to add to our dinners. Thank you!
Well done to think of something like that
This could not possibly have been more helpful!
It's imperative that more people make this exact point.
In awe of that answer! Really cool!
I'm not easily impressed. . . but that's impressing me!
You mean I don't have to pay for expert advice like this anymore?!
No more s***. All posts of this quality from now on
Thanks for contributing. It's helped me understand the issues.
I can't believe you're not playing with me--that was so helpful.
Yeah, that's the ticket, sir or ma'am
Good to find an expert who knows what he's talking about!
That's not just the best answer. It's the bestest answer!
Many many quality points there.
Thanks for sharing. Always good to find a real expert.
There's a secret about your post. ICTYBTIHTKY
That's a shrewd answer to a tricky question
Sharp thinking! Thanks for the answer.
And I was just wondering about that too!
Alakazaam-information found, problem solved, thanks!
Keep these articles coming as they've opened many new doors for me.
This site is like a classroom, except I don't hate it. lol
That saves me. Thanks for being so sensible!
Great thinking! That really breaks the mold!
This makes everything so completely painless.
It's always a relief when someone with obvious expertise answers. Thanks!
That hits the target dead center! Great answer!
Thinking like that is really impressive
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