July 7, 2008

• The Office Barter System
  Doing it like it's the 14th Century.

  
  Well, at least they popped collars in the 14th century...

  Like the prison your uncle Bobby served
  time in for selling pirated DVDs in Chinatown, my office holds a
  bartering system as well. It's a fair and efficient system of trade.
  When a product is in high demand, it will require more items for trade.
  There is no such thing as money here. Mostly tangible goods. If you
  bring a tuna sandwich and someone swings by your desk and takes
  interest in it, they can take it, just as long as it's replaced with
  something of equal value. For example, if you have a roll of Lifesavers
  that has 15 pieces on your desk, the acceptable form of exchange is two
  tangerines. If you have an apple, then a peanut butter sandwich is
  acceptable.

  Today, for example: I traded 1/2 a pork bun, 1
  package of Korean seaweed snack, and 15 Diamond smokehouse almonds for
  3 teabags of Trader Joe's green tea, handful of Gourmet Buffalo Chicken
  flavored pretzels, and a plate of tortillas with salsa from Chipotle.

  So how does one set a value on items in the office? Based on a point system.

  Rarity/scarcity +2
  My
  co-workers are predominantly White. Being the only Asian in my
  department, the exotic snacks I bring in are like gold to them. They
  don't know where to shop for said Asian items, so I use this to my
  advantage.

  Actual value in store +1
  If you paid $5.99 for a box of Twinkies, don't be surprised when they laugh after you trade that for 2 apples worth $0.25.

  Demand/cravings +2
  Last
  week, my co-worker had the hugest craving for beef. I just so happened
  to of had steak packed for lunch. Knowing this, I was able to squeeze
  out an orange, and 2 sticks of mozzarella cheese from her. All for a few
  bites of steak. All about the demand here.

  Volume +1
  Though
  demand has a great effect on evaluation the trade, sheer volume can make
  or break the deal. You think your 1 can of Coke is enough for 5 Tylenol
  pills? Neither does he (he also knows you're in pain). Try 4 cans for
  those 5 pills, he simply can't resist.

  Examples
  

  • A cup of Starbucks coffee = 2 snack-sized bags of mustard pretzels.
  • 1 bagel with cream cheese = half a ham and cheese sandwich
  • 1 Box of staples = 3 Sharpie markers.
  • Staying 30 minutes late to cover a co-worker because he forgot his anniversary = 2 Happy Hour Drinks
  • Taking blame for a major screw-up at work = His/her computer

  This
  bartering system isn't just confined to the office. You can institute
  this system of trade in school. For example, Cheating off your friend, Jose's
  Spanish test is equivalent to 3 Calculus homework.

  
  Applericious Apple.

  • 6:33 pm
  • 83 Comments