July 14, 2008

• Hitting the Gym.

  I just got hit on by an old lady at the gym. A typical soccer mom
  who's bordering contemplation of a botox injection or going for the
  full 9; a face lift. She had a Juicy Couture jumpsuit, reminiscent of Guido teens at a slumber party. It all started the moment I placed my
  foot on the treadmill. She neighbored me and was constantly peeking over
  to me--I could see her with my limited peripheral vision. I thought
  nothing of it at first, perhaps she wanted to read my statistics of my
  LCD screen. But I shrugged it off and continued being humored by The
  Simpsons playing on the televisions overhead.

  But she didn't
  stop staring. That's when I couldn't take it. I quickly paused my
  treadmill 10 minutes into my running program and headed to the weight
  lifting section. I took a quick sip at the water fountain and proceeded
  to the scale adjacent to it, a mirror in front of me. That's when I
  gasped lightly as I see the old lady staring right. at. my. butt.

  What the fawk.

  I quickly bolted away from the area and left promptly. Something tells me I won't be frequenting the gym as often.
  

  ---

  Degrading Sports Photo of the Day

  

  The new term for "heavyweight"

  • 6:27 pm
  • 248 Comments