August 6, 2008
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Phantom Poopers.
Do girls poo?If I've learned anything
about the biology of women for the 23 years of my life; besides 4 holes
that you can "prod" (the 4th is a secret!), it's women's bathroom
habits. Their farts are supposed to smell like roses, and I've yet to
meet a female between the ages of 17-27 who said out loud "I have to
poo."Not like guys. "Dude, I have to take a huge dump," and
shuffle into the bathroom, magazine in hand. Women are totally
different. They're covert, sneaky, and ninja-esque (but not as good as me)
with their bowel movements. Do they even crap?
Contemplating, contemplating. OKAY! POO!Female Co-worker: Gotta pee, but don't feel like getting up and walking a mile and a half! Just thought I'd share that with you.
Me: Oh, I value these random statements.
FC: Good! There's more to come!
Me: Ha! Just don't let me know if it's #2.
FC: I promise
Me: Whew! I can proceed to eat safely.
FC: I don't do that by the way.
Me: You don't do #2? AMAZING!
FC: Nope! Girls don't poop!
Me: So I've heard. Nor do they fart!
FC: Yup yup, you got it!Wtf? What's with girls and hiding #2?
Whopper Freakout.This reminds me of the time when I went into a McDonalds and was told they had no more cheeseburgers left. Except it wasn't a joke.
Everybody wants me to do their sisters.
No complaints here.
Why are you not dead yet? I like you. Come over to my house and fuck my sister and mother and grandmother.Posted 8/5/2008 6:34 PM by Just__Jen
I'd ask you to come over and fuck my sister, but alas, I don't have one...Posted 8/5/2008 9:05 PM by ASIANmacabre
I rike you. Come over to my house and fvck my sister!
Comments (161)
Poopology 101
hahahahaha interesting.
i neeeda poop !
^hahas.
Not shacked up then, I guess? One day you'll learn!
we can't give away our secrets!
Girls don't poo? Oh, I DON'T think so. I may have to do a post about this, because this one really bugs me and my bowels.
By the way, we SO poo.
I know I don't poo, or fart. All the waste just dissipates in the most un-obnoxious of ways.
of course girls don't poop, we also look like rainbows and butterflies waking up, and smell like roses and lilies naturally. fact of life, duh!
ps. my suitemate has the smelliest poop ever. she's really hot and you could never tell her poop smells so foul just by looking at her
my ex said it out loud. O.o
LOL.. i tell al i have to poo all the time. ;P
I have 2 sisters for you to fXck.
WTF ahahahaha!!
They go to the bathroom to throw up the food. Dont you know? That's why the always go in groups... its a joint effort!
Everyone poops. 8]
don't you know of that japanese book? everyone poops. it's awesome, it animates small poop and big poop.
here's a tip for the ladies, the more you poop, the skinnier you are. i write this as i'm eating my lunch.
bon apetit!!!
if they discontinued the whopper, my whole family would be in mourning hahaha
nancy only has a brother, chris! looll
girls dont poop. its all an illusion.
I like to announce my need to pee as much as any other person. But poop....it's is just something different, very personal and sacred. You're not supposed to talk about it.
btw, poo doesn't do poop justice. poo is a weak-ass way of saying POOP. it's POOP!
It's true, you know. We don't do that.
Ever. T_T
Except, apparently, the German's... who do it... on film. I don't think I want to talk about it anymore. :: hugsself.:: <3
Yeah, I always say to my boyfriend or friends whenever I need to shit or fart. I pretty much say it unabashedly. Is it that big of a deal?
Dont get her angry. You wont like her when she's angry.
there was this old lady in our guest bathroom the other day
she farted a symphony in there! she is either a man or girls really do fart/poop...
I poop rainbows.
I excuse myself before I have to go.
I started the sister-fucking comments! Everyone just wanted to be like me and that's why they left those kinds of comments too.
Man. I've shat w/ you on the phone before. You should know girls shit and fart!
LOL.
Thongs and anything up anyone's butt silents farts. My bf didn't believe me 'til he tried sticking his boxers up his butt and farting. *LoL*
And I know girls personally who do tell each other (if not to people of the opposite sex) that they need to poop. I simply tell whoever asks. Sometimes it just slips out whether the person wants to know or not. As for telling my bf, I tell him all the time. We're the "fart in front of each other comfortably" type of couple. Odd for an unmarried couple, I know.
Matches also work wonders. People need to learn how to light a match when taking a shit, whether they think their shit stinks or not.
i poop, and my roommate poops. we tell each other all the time. we're nursing students. we're very open about that kind of stuff.
as soon as I turn 17 I'll tell you I need to crap.
HAHAAHAHAHAHAH i just watched that B.K. video...so STrange the things corporations do -_-||||| LMAOLMAOLMAOLMAOLMAOLMAO
hahaha my friends and I always tell each other when we're gunna go crap KEHEHE or fart KEHEHEHEHE lmaolmaolmao
whopper aint got nothin on whataburger
IT'S ALL LIES! I just pooped.
I'd kill you if you touched my sister.
The girl equivalent of diarrhea is rolling around the bathroom floor until she pisses out that bad Mexican food she just ate.
And a pee torpedo is when a girl holds her pee for such a long time that when she pees, it sounds like jello being dumped into a pool. So if you hear a plop when you're stalking a girl's bathroom, that chick just dropped a pee torpedo.
you'd go to jail even if you looked at my sister's a certain way... dun dun dun
Hwaoh...I bet girls are constantly "Prairie Dogging" LMAO.
I thought I had to poo a minute ago, then the feeling went away, then when I read this, the urge returned.
Thanks!
And, yes, girls do poo & lay out large flatulences. It's just ether discrete, or not so discrete. All living creatures have metabolic waste, silly!
dirty yo. of course girls don't poo.
@amissong - so gross
you are all so gross.
i'm clean though
I usually say something to the effect of, "Ugggh [holding my stomach], I gotta shit."
And then when I'm done, I announce to everyone that I just gave birth.
yeah, girls really don't poop
well, i've met a few who've been open about it... i mean, they won't say they're gonna take a dump, but it's like i gotta go... ya know. not all, but some.
@ch0w -
its not an illusion!!! i will poo in your bathroom tomorrow this time. >:] watch. mooowahhhahahha
Remember that flaming brown bag at your front door on friday night at 10pm?
Yeahhh...
i just say i need to shit, or i need to piss. and both smells like issey miyake. LOL.
LOL I've totally said that outloud before...
"duuuude... drive faster, I neeeed to get home."
"Why?"
"I need to take a dump."
"..."
But only with my family. Or old roommates.
@TpC_ReiO -
Ditto for my mother! /asian death stare ... world explodes
did you get bombed like how you initiate those on unsuspecting xangans?
u know what they say .. girls don't have asshole until they marry one.. then i guess ur ryt hahaha ur on a roll
Please accept my friend request???
My sister tells her boyfriend when she is going to go #2. They are weird and he thinks poo and fart jokes are funny.
Xo
it takes time for a female to admit she has to poo...im so liberal and accepting that susana is already comfortable...
they don't!
how come a human being doesnt poop?
My mom told me to stop announcing that...Though she has also told me a million times to stop telling her I have to pee, too. I don't know why I listened to one and not the other...
ooh, i'm taking a shit while typing this delicious comment. happy after-midnight snacking!
pooo
We do.. we're just very stealth like. You will probably never catch me unless you lace my food with lactose products cause then you can say bye to me cause I'll be gone for the night. Damn the lactose intolerance.
i'm so glamorous, i shit stardust.
hahahaahha, of course girls poop. some girls are crude with it too.
there was an episode on mythbusters where they proved that women fart.
ahhh the whopper freakout, did you see this version of it? Whopper Freakout GHETTO VRS. (UNCUT-R)..
My sister's only 9! D:
do you poop? haha
not only do our farts smell like roses, we poop roses as well. pretty red ones
everyone will poop pooopppp xD
girls are shy that way
Seriously, my shit and my farts don't stink! I swear! I have witnesses living at home with me!
smells like ass
I always poop.
I just cover it up by saying i was 'fixing my hair' or 'cleaning the bathroom' or some shit. It's just most girls don't want you thinking of her sitting on the toilet with actual poop coming out of her. & i don't think most guys want to picture that either?
Go anywhere near my sister and running around the back garden naked with Joon is the least of your worries!
I don't have any sisters, and I poop, but only on Sundays.
i dont want my sister to have all the fun
If you ever have the chance to go into a ladies restroom (provided no one chases you out with brooms), you will be in for a nasty surprise. A lot of ugly restroom habits manifested in there.
Anyway, detoxification aka pooing is good for health. At least once a day keeps the doctor away. Cheers.
that girl in the pic on the toilet? if she poops, she will lose the last 5 lbs. of body weight that she has. gross. where the hell do you find these pics?
ps also, you haven't met me or ANY of my friends then. poop. poop. i tell random strangers i have to poop. i tell everyone around me i have to poop. it happens. i have no shame. it's a bodily function necessary esp for someone like me who eats so damn much. but when i was 20, i pooped once every 3-4 days. i was also about 20 lbs. lighter than i am now
My girlfriend admits to doing #2, but the odd thing... it[the poo] doesn't smell!
poop scenario:
1. turn on fan.
2. turn on faucet.
3. turn on shower.
4. relieve thyself.
i hate hearing the sound of the deuces splashing as it hits the bowl. its either a ka-thunk or a pew pew pew.
Dude...Idk But my sister not to long ago...maybe 2weeks ago tops...my sister took the worst shit ever! I swear I lost half of my brain cells. lol Goodness the worst part is that it didn't stop hurting after I got fresh air...it stuck in my nose.
Since guys can't give birth, they're proud of the fact that they can produce monster dumps that might even put some newborn babies to shame.
Oh yeah, and girls definitely poo. They're just way more discreet about it. I've caught some female friends farting on different occasions and they were soooooooooo embarassed that I thought they'd pass out.
You're right! I don't remember any of my female coworkers ever admitting to a number 2c either!!!
That's so true.
I do have one female friends who always tells me she's going to poo, though. Kinda weird.
I poop.
No poopy!
holy shit you see those knees!?
we don't poop . . . around you!
unless you're in a disgustingly close relationship with an SO
the girl in the pic is pooing with the seat cover down haha
Whatever I remember shi had a great disscusion about being clogged up!!!
Speaking of all this poo
I gots to go!!
oh between us girls at work we talk about the type also...extras smoosh...hard...lol
i recommend the following reads:
http://www.amazon.com/Everyone-Poops-My-Body-Science/dp/0916291456
and
http://www.amazon.com/Gas-We-Pass-Story-Farts/dp/0916291529
we read the latter in Preschool today. shit's funny.
oops... poop... @_@
I've been to Burger King when they were out of fries...
...and KFC when they were out of CHICKEN!!!
no, i'm not lying.
The whole myth of women not making was completely destroyed in the 3rd grade. We were all sitting on the floor in a circle and a girl sat up to readjust her sitting position but ended up sharting her underwear in front of all that was good and right with the world.
what are you talking about?
i always let my friends know when I hafta abuse their washrooms!
Dude, did you really need 23 years old to discover that girls never poo. I mean, in the Bible itself says that created women with a poo-vaporizer which allows them to avoid shitting. On the other hand, men were condemned to live with erection problems at least one moment of their lives -but now there is generic viagra -. Don't you ever read the Bible, you heretics!
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