June 1, 2009
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The Girl Scouts Are Trying To Kill Us!
Behind those cute skirts, french berets and angelic eyes with honorable intentions lie death and pure evil. I speak of the Girl Scouts of America. They're here for only one reason: to kill us all.
Just two cookies? Helloooooooo, cardiologist!My brother brought home some Girl Scout cookies the other day, including Samosas and Tagalongs. I took a bite from the box of Samosas and like I usually do, began reading the nutritional facts. Have you ever read the artery-clogging ingredients? The first one is sugar and the second one is partially hydrogenated oil (trans fats). Perfect for your diet, right?
INGREDIENTS:
SUGAR, VEGETABLE SHORTENING (CONTAINS ONE OR MORE OF THE FOLLOWING OILS: PARTIALLY HYDROGENATED SOYBEAN, PALM KERNEL, COCONUT, PALM AND/OR COTTONSEED)...Of course if you read the label it says it has 0 trans fats. Not to mention they are now $4 a box. Am I the only one concerned that this is how they choose to raise funds? I'm all for supporting the Girl Scouts but isn't there a better way like working the corners or donating kidneys? Girl Scouts are trying to kill you.
Nutritional facts for SamosasYou wanna know what also shares similar fat and caloric content?
That's right. Chicken freakin-McNuggets. Girl Scouts are trying to kill you.We're talking about four nuggets here compared to two cookies. And with nuggets, at least you get some protein in you (this is for all your muscle heads out there).If you keep eating these, you'll look like a Samoa. /rimshot
OM NOM NOM NOM!A 2004 article in the San Francisco Chronicle notes that FDA and medical researchers agree trans fats are "the most dangerous fat in the human diet." At the time the Girl Scouts' spokeswoman acknowledged the need for healthier alternatives in their cookies, then claimed that "We're fast-tracking that ourselves."
Their typical scheme of playing nice, but what they really want is your wallet...and your soul.Wait. Apparently there's more to the story. I must admit, it's worth every heart attack I get later in life. They' re freakin' delicious. I just can't get over the fact that these Girl Scouts are trying to kill you.
Comments (309)
RUNN!
WE'RE DOOOOMED!
I was a girl scout and I endorse those delicious shortbread cookies Eat up!
Excuse me while I finish this box of cookies.
i'm not surprised.
well that's sad... no more girl scout cookies for me then
$4?!
Girl Scouts really are evil. I know because I used to be one.
Haha heart attack in a box.
I knew it! They really are the cutest killers out there.
Why else did you think they had Green Berets?
mate.. check this out.. it's an oldie but a goodie
Fat Kid Selling Cookies on The Man Show
I feel like you're ranting. :] It's funny.
At least they taste good, right?
It's all about munching in moderation.
Is it the cookies season already? Yum!!!
But they are so gooooood...
b-b-b-b-but...they're so good... thin mints<33333
selling girl scout cookies was my favorite part of being a girl scout lol.
AND because they unjustly kicked me out! Smug lil bishes...
thin mints are pretty damn good. i don't know if i'd give 'em up..
NOM NOM NOM
muah ha ha! i used to be a girl scout ;D
OMNOMNOM! *burp*
they taste good though ^^
um. why would they be trying to kill their customers? that makes absolutely no sense.
hell yea man...back when i was student teaching putting these cookies in the lounge was pandemonium...so so good...
Lol, I like samoas and thin mints. Yum yum.
We dont have girl scouts here coming to our door tryna sell us cookies
I want some cookies
peanut butter choco cookies are just awesome.
Those tagalongs will do you as well, but McD's McNuggets come with no sugar.....
I want a box. Now.
you ate like a whole box didn't you?
Dude... those cookies don't even taste good.
yeah, i remember i noticed they were pretty unhealthy. i'd rather pick the chicken nuggets over the samosas, at least they can count as a meat.
how do the thin mints compare to the samosas?
At least I'll die happy knowing the delicious taste of girl scout cookies.
of course they're trying to kill you. it took the cookies for you to realize it?
I'd take the nuggets any day
They didn't indicate the amount of trans fats in the nutrition label. Isn't that illegal??? Go and get them arrested cakalusa!
haha...my kind of cookie. not.
Girl Scout cookies are so delicious...but I'd rather have the nuggets.
hahaha!!! so true. i used to love those samoa (sp?) cookies, but when you look behind their happy little smiles and green hats and shit.... they are plotting... they are.... lol. and i love the OM NOM NOM photo xD
LOL! so true. girl scouts are evil.
Dang. Dats crazy. i Had no idea. And love those samoa cookies. those r my favorites. but readin dis, i dnt think i want one bite of it anymore. :/ It's not ur fault. Thnx For the info. I use to be in girls scouts too. I didnt mean to kill. lol. But i agree. I'm supporting girl scouts but there has to be another way.
Damn. No freaking WONDER they're so fucking good... they've got so much fat in them!
LOL. Good point, I don't buy that stuff anymore anyways. I used to be a girl scout. But I realized the error of my ways.
Did you know they sell nuts also?
I was walking by a borders with a girl scout's table set up at the front. I thought they had some cookies, but as I walked by, they shouted "Girl scout nuts, they're the greatest in the world!"
I think they should stick to the cookies.
LMFAO!!!
I prefer chicken nuggets over 2 damn cookies!!
The legal requirement is that if it is under 0.5G per serving, they don't have to list the trans fat. So, the trick is to adjust the serving size so that it falls under that. They should tell you how much it is when you eat the whole damn box...
whoa there. Shouldn't it be "Girl-cott", not "Boycott"?
Ha! My Girl Scout is raising money by flamingo flocking houses...no trans fats, no calories!
eww that's gross. i rarely eat these but i got to find a way to convince my husband to stay away.
i'd kill for a box of samosas right now.
i'm a girl scout. serious.
oh goodness, that is a lot of calories!
Whatever. You can and will eat a whole box in one sitting. While you're reading the nutritional facts.
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