December 8, 2009
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Wedding Wisdom.
Get hitched tonight!I welcome you to a new series as I experience the drama-free (laff!) days leading up to my brother's wedding next summer. Me being the youngest of three brothers, experiencing the first wedding of the family (do not dishonor), this is a foreign experience that should provide stories for many, and a sense of sympathy from those already hitched. But really, this is a secret ploy to lure women as I expose my more kinder, softer, sensitive side. Hello, ladies.
Wedding Wisdom #1: I'm on a boat!
So the catering hall that my brother is having his wedding in is near a dock. And so, we need to take a yacht to get there. I'm thinking, I get trashed and attempt to sail the boat...INTO the catering hall. Ever experience a drive-in wedding? Now you have. The photo ops will be priceless.
"DUDE! I told you to turn left at Jeff St. and right at the McDonalds!"Wedding Wisdom #2: Never enough.
Despite the finite number of seats there are, you can never invite enough people to your wedding. Like your aging uncle John's waistline, it's always expanding.
You'll be on the "maybe" pile. Yes you, in the white dress.Wedding Wisdom #3: Dressed For Success.
From all the years I've been to weddings, 99% of them were Chinese (1% margin of error). Now imagine the largest wedding you've been to, and multiply it by 5. That's a traditional Chinese wedding. It's Chinatown, stuffed in a catering hall (Chinese restaurant). If you don't explode from the ten course meal, you will after trying to dance, when the MC tries to get you all to dance (via the YMCA or electric slide).
So what's the big deal? Squigglers. They walk in undressed for the occasion. Like they're just there for the food and bouncing when it's over. I swear, some people who get invited look like they just got out of work, and not from a white-collar job, but from a fish market. I've actually seen a man walk in with black pants, beat up sandals and a wifebeater. Who are you, Bruce Lee?
Bluce Ree disapplove of your wedding clashing!
Comments (176)
This will not end well.
yeah and the multiple dress changes.... an absolute event in itself.
Have fun!
sounds like a blast...
i would hate to be your brother.
white on top and black pants on the bottom sounds formal to me!
ooo
Does this include the yum cha in the morning?
How exciting!!!!
Ahahaha. I did something like this when my lil bro got married in May. Well, close to it...
That last part is very true, especially for the ones who sit in the back.
I thought dancing was unheard of in chinese weddings. not in hong kong anyway booo
@youngvan - girl you obsessed with weddings aren't you? (;
I love Chinese wedding banquets. Those little duck taco thingies are superb. And quail! Fun times trying to get meat off of those little suckers.
I don't remember there being any dancing at any of the Chinese weddings I've been to, though. And I sure as heck am not going to have that cheesy slop at MY banquet thank you very much!
LOLLL "who are you bruce lee?"
lollll chinese weddings are...hahaha....
I would like a simple wedding thanx...
i only noticed the little girl with the indian outfit. hah.
two good things about a wedding is dressing up and eating and i don't mean cheese and biscuits. my favorite part is the wedding cake.
Interesting choice of a Bruce Lee picture...
Oh, I pity your poor brother! I have enough stress organizing children's birthday parties lol When/if (?) I finally get married it shall be in a beach at sunset with just our closest people/friends.
1% margin of error? HAHAHA
i heard that if there is free food...the chinese will show...
"Bluce Ree disapplove of your wedding clashing!"
...I totally said that out loud, and THEN I got it. Hahaa. Love that you wrote the accent into it.
whats even more annoying is when these older asian guys answer their phones during the ceremony -__- they can afford a cellphone(which is always on a lil holster. just put it in your f'n pocket!) but they come in beat up sandals. wtf!
lol black pants, wifebeater and flip flops... classy.
@CaKaLusa -
duh, he has numchucks.
he's also the reason why chuck norris has a career.
Photo ops would be pretty priceless...
good luck planning! (err helping to plan!)
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