July 7, 2010
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Top 10 Worse Pick-Up Lines That You’ve Never Heard
I’m still a fan of the archaic act of reading magazines, and every so often there’s always an article in some women’s magazine I find at the dentist's office, featuring crap lines that guys apparently throw out. I always ask my girl friends if they’ve heard these lines before. Inevitably, they haven’t. But they still make me laugh. Here’s some of my favorites of the worse. And hey if there’s some favorites of yours that I missed, by all means add them to the comments section. Enjoy!
10. Hi, the voices in my head told me to come over and talk to you.
A little craziness goes a long way.
9. Would you like to come over to my place later? You can bring some friends because my face seats five.
This pickup line always has me picturing a guy with a couple good chains, a Hawaiian print shirt, hair poking through the chains and thinning hair.
8. Let’s get drunk and take advantage of each other. Or, I could get drunk and you could just take advantage of me. OR, you can stay here and get drunk and I can go home and take advantage of myself. Either way, it’s up to you.
Yourself. Just do it to yourself. No one is picking up what you’re laying down.
7. (silently mouth) I want a fig newton.
No seriously, do it. That’s kinda funny. But it wouldn’t work as a pickup line.
6. I’m a necrophiliac…How well do you play dead?
I don’t even think that would work on the most emo of chicks.
5. There are 265 bones in the human body. How would you like one more?
Get it cause he’s got a…yeah, exactly.
4. You might not be the best looking girl here, but beauty is only a light switch away.
That’s about as charming as someone giving you a dutchoven.
3. Hey baby… you got any diseases? Want some?
Mmmm...delish!
2. Excuse me, but does this smell like chloroform to you?
Blow your rape whistle, stab this guy in the eyes with your keys and run away! Even he was just trying to be ironic, that’ll teach him.
1. You’ll do.
Because that’s what every girl wants to hear hear at the end of the night. True story!I challenge you guys to go out and use these pickup lines--except the chloroform one. That seems like a really good way to end up in jail. Tell me your experiences in the comments.*I may or may not have used any of the above lines.
Comments (105)
Hello, ladies!
He better look like friggen Daniel Henney if he's using these pick up lines.
I wanna see a success rate % to each line.
But I really do want a fig newton.
@mncjl -
AMEN!
hahaha..
....
I have heard #6... But I guess it comes from being in my line of work. LOL
"Hi."
C'mere sexy. (;
If you were a booger, I would pick you.
"Nice legs. When do they open?"
I'm so using #1 someday.
Your mom and dad both must be retarded, cause you sure are special!
I did the fig newton one aloud, to myself, in the mirror. LOLLLLLLL fracken hularious.
These ARE the worst, not even good for a laugh to charm your way, er, in. I take it your success rates with these were zero across the board? *pat pat* So now you want other males to share in the pain of your rejections? For shame!
I'm rather shocked you don't have any dorky, nerdy, geeky ones. I'm sure these are more your style: http://bloggasm.com/50-nerdy-pick-up-lines.
this post made me laugh
i have questions though. when a guy asks you back too their house are they always wanting sex? will a guy lie/say anything to get a girl in bed?
you're losing fans..
Those are all way lame, just as you promised. Then again, is there such a thing as a solid pick up line that performs?
@Findingvanessa -
Not all the time. Sometimes it can be platonic. But more than likely not.
SPAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAIIIIINNNNNN!!
These were pretty good...my favorite pick up line though is
"Excuse me, do you speak English?"
"Yes"
"Me too!!"
LOL at that pin. I've had some pretty interesting pick up lines tried on me. I must have the look of a girl who stuff like that would work on. hm.
Hahaha number six is my favorite
HAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHHA WTFFFFFFFF at first I didn't get the fig newton one LMAOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO
"beauty is only a lightswitch away" LMAOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO
you must have used them all!
Hiiiiiiiii =D hahhahahaha
fig newton.
I wish you were the ground and I was a Diglett so I could be inside of you.
It worked on me.
These would at least elicit a chuckle from me before I turn him down. Lolololol
Number 7 is awesome, I hope that it'll work for you one day
Here's one that a guy actually used on my friend, which she later posted on facebook:
"Hellooo, excuse me miss...I was wondering if I can get your number? Maybe I can holla at you...take you out for dinner and things...you know that wine and dine shit...maybe we can make some babies. I'm a good looking person and you're a good looking person...maybe we can make a sexy little us?"
Classic. Lol!
is your dad a baker? 'cause you got nice buns...
"You have the face of an evil woman." We literally argued all night, until he got drunk and then apologized.
Unfortunately, I've encountered pickup line #8, and #5.
but I thought there were 266.
I don't get #7.
The worst pick up line I've heard of was "I may not be the hottest guy here but I'm the only one talking to you."
@mncjl - agreed.
"do you know in my old school i was known as a child molester? do you consider yourself a child?" o_O
Success rate of these pick up lines = mass extinction of men
Number 9 sounds like something Quagmire would say. Giggety-giggety.
Kiss me if I'm wrong, but is your name Eric?
I think all of them could be good except 8 3 and 2, I can't figure out how to make those funny (8 is just too long)
haha! i knew number five already!!>:D but i didn't know the rest.......................... but people have use this one on me here it goes............. now quick out loud spell ihop then say ness at the end...now your mine .............lame pick up line ain't it
oh man the chloroform one will have me running faster than the roadrunner..CREEEPYYYY!!!
i don't get #7..
@chicken_butthead -
Sounds like "I want to f you."
@CaKaLusa -
ahahaha i tried looking at the mirror saying that and i got my sister to do it... i mean i guess it kinda says "i wanna f you tonight" but the fig newton is confusing. if a guy ever did that to me i'd be lost.
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