November 8, 2010

  • Asian Parents Think You're Sick.
    All the time.

    Is it just my parents or do all Asian parents think that once you sneeze (for the first time that day), you are assumed to have a cold?

    It could be the middle of summer with record highs, and once they hear a sneeze out of you, it results in a 4 hour lecture about "tricky weather" and not wearing enough clothes. Really? I've a puddle of sweat forming under me that Michael Phelps could do a few laps in. And if they are cold, stop the presses, because you have to be cold as well! July heat, meet big puffy winter hooded jacket outside while the other kids outside are wearing shorts and thongs. An Asian mom will always ensure the child has an unnecessary amount of layers and jackets.

    And with all Asian parents, they'll have these crazy old wives tales to scare you into wearing additional clothing. If their tales were actually true, half my body would've fallen off by now and I'd be half blind.

    "If you go to bed with wet hair, you'll get a headache!"

    "If you drink cold liquids before eating hot foods, you'll get a stomach ache!"

    "If you go outside for .0015 seconds when it's cold, you'll get pneumonia!"

    Asian parents : Why aren't you wearing those slippers I bought you inside the house? You'll get sores on your feet and they'll drop off!
    You: ...uh huh.
    Asian parents (while holding baseball bat): WEAR SLIPPERS!

    Do your parents make a huge deal out of sickness; sneezes and coughing?

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