Month: June 2013

  • The Drinking Bird at work.

    So buying this!

    After watching this:

    3-5 business days later.
    My new coworker!

    Just look at him go!

    Reasons why "Dunky The Bird" (yes, I've named mine) is better than you.

    • He always agrees with what I say.
    • He can out drink you.
    • He is OCD about his cleanliness.
    • He has an amazing tophat. How many of you know someone who sports one? Exactly!
    • He's so awesome, he doesn't need arms or wings.
    • Unlike most women, he knows how to keep his mouth shut. (Oh no he di'int!)

    Here's how he works:


    At first, Xanga's donations to help relaunch Xanga came at a staggering pace.

    Money was flowing. Like long locks of hair.

    Then things started to slow down.

    Nobody was surprised.

    Xangans slowly left for other blogging platforms.

    Even Livejournal.

    So people started posting on Facebook, starting other fundraisers, and radio shows (@roadlesstaken) were created to spread the word.

    Current flow of donations coming in now.

    If you're still reading this, what are you waiting for?

    So, are you going to donate?

    We only have two weeks left!

    Or Xanga will be gone forever.

  • Annoying Jewish Coworker Quote of the Day

    "Forget what I said... I just remember some of my OTHER circle of friends...."

    Annoying Jewish Coworker annoys another coworker.
    A coworker was kind and brought in tray of danishes for the group and set them up at his desk. Everyone comes by and treat themselves to at least one. There is one danish left.

    Coworker: She has been picking away at the last piece of danish every time I got up to go somewhere. It was a full piece. It was half a piece. Now it was a quarter. I threw it out.

    Radio show with @RoadLessTaken - Guest @VaneDave & Cakalusa

    We chat about Xanga, boobs, what bloggers smell like, and the trolling. Click here to listen.

  • Boy Girl Challenge #99

    You have 1.1 seconds to decide.

  • Dating a Friend's Sister.

    Let me preface this post with a simple question. Would you ever let any of your close friends date your sister/brother?

    Let that sink in for a moment. Think about it.

    Okay, we're back.

    Here's a conversation I had with my friend, who has a sister. On the contrary, I grew up with two older brothers.

    Friend: Hmm, I don't see a problem, just as long as they keep that mushy stuff to themselves, and they treat her right.
    Me: I don't know how I'd react if I had a sister and one of us (our group of friends) dated her. I probably wouldn't approve of it. It's just too close to home.
    Friend: Would you disown your sis?
    Me: No, but I would feel uneasy.
    Friend: And throw up?
    Me: Especially if my friend came over to hang with her.
    Friend: But if they match, you don't have to worry about some scrub.
    Me: True. I guess it's like a screening test.

    Would you ever date  your best friend's sister or brother?

  • Help Feed Xanga

    For only $0.13 a day, you can help feed this starving child.
    Look at the ominous hand and grungy look! That means we need your help!

    Feed Xanga’s Servers

    Nearly 18 million Xangans suffer from blog insecurity. That means they don’t always know where their next post will come from. Because of proud donors across the world, Xangan can live again. Blogs can survive.
    No Xangan should be left out in the cold.

    No Xangan in America should go blogless.But every summer, millions of Xanga servers across the country struggle to find adequate funding to run. That’s why they need friends like us to step up and fill in the summer gap. Your gift to the Xanga Crowdhoster will provide badly needed funding and other essentials to Xanga's servers.

    For just 13 cents a day you can help Xanga.
    This could be you.

    Here's what 13 cents can buy you:

    -An extra button for your shirt.
    -Extra cream in your coffee.
    -A 7 second lapdance.
    -The bun of a White Castle slider.
    -A few seconds of fun at a wishing well.
    -The sports section of a newspaper.
    -6.5 opinionated thoughts.

    Instead, you can support Xanga. Please give generously today to feed these starving servers and developers.

  • Doucheness is Best Served Cold

    With a side of farts.

    Him:  My friend used to work at this steak house. Run down, past its time. He said when real jappy or waspy parents came in, they wold make their kid order for the whole table. And the snottier and more demanding the kid was the more they applauded for the kid when it was done. Like initiation into the world of bossing people around.

    Me: I'd of farted on their food.

    Him: He said they would ask for like more expensive wine. He'd go find them the worst wine and they'd be like, "oh this is much better!"

    Random GIFs of the Day

    Degrading Sports Photos of the Day
    Ah! There was a hole in my pants all this time?
    How to play dodgeball.
    Heaviest Munchkin ever.

  • Been in a few relationships?

    Describe all your ex's. What you liked about them, what you hated about them.


    Perhaps we can all learn something from each other.

    Random Photos of the Day.
    When I was in school, no piece of work was complete unless it had a title created using this bad boy.

    Born on date: Thursday, November 10, 2011

  • State of Cakalusa.

    Writing here for years has been nothing but special. I loved reading the feedback and steady flow of "LOLs." But over the years, I've lost motivation. Creativity doesn't come as often, and I simply don't have enough time to sit down and write posts like I have in the past. I went from needing to post every. single. day, to posting once a week. I feel obligated and forced to write "regularly" here. The news of impending doom coming to Xanga doesn't help.

    Now I'm digging deep. The next 30 days (up until the proposed "End of Xanga"), I will be posting content completely unedited, and unstructured from my cache website @cakalusastrikes. It's where I've been pre-writing my posts to copy & paste into this blog; I had 75+ posts queued up at one point. Some posts are public--and you'll get a glimpse of how unstructured and convoluted my early draft posts can be--but most are private. The posts you will read in the coming weeks can date back to 2006, but never saw daylight, until starting today.

    If Xanga survives, that's excellent news, and might reignite my blog like some tattered phoenix. If the clouds hover above on July 16th, then this blog too shall fade.

    Casual Fridays.
    I dress for success.
    ...too bad I had my fly unzipped for half the day. Fail!

    Fried Chicken Stories: Part 2.
    Remember that episode of Simpsons when Homer didn't get all that he could eat at the seafood buffet? And when they ran out of food, he went fishing for more seafood?


    Is it sad if I had a craving for KFC at midnight, and it was closed, and I ended up going to a bowling alley to buy fried chicken? Cause I didn't...DON'T JUDGE ME! DAMN IT!

    P.S.S Chicken fingers at a bowling alley aren't bad at all. Just a sidenote....

    Car Fun.
    Zomg, I are teh thin!

    Old school video from the lost archives. Circa 2004, in a friend's car.

    UPDATE 9:12PM

    Dericious Ecuadorian Shrimp Ceviche!

    New recipe with the sister. She makes delicious Ecuadorian shrimp ceviche, while suffering no injuries.

  • There's selfies. And then there's this.

    If you're vain, and take a few photos of yourself in a new shirt, or want to show off your new face tattoo on Facebook, I'll allow it. But if you dedicate albums of photos for your ugly mug to be to shown across the Internet, you deserve every bit of criticism.
    An opportunity to make fun of someone, you say?
    Don't mind if I do!

    The latest target comes from a Xangan (who shall remain anonymous), who requested, "wanna make fun of a super conceited vain guy on your blog?" I'm glad that yours truly comes to mind when things like this need to be addressed.

    So I headed over to his Facebook and browsed around. I immediately smelled this man's ego from ten miles away. His thumbs must get a great workout from clicking the shutter button all day on his cameraphone.

    After a while, I thought "okay, he likes taking pictures of himself." But five minutes later and pages upon pages of scrolling through, it was littered with nothing but albums of himself. Jesus. Christ.

    At first I was somewhat okay with it. Amazed, really, as to how a person can post so many selfies.

    But after the 50th album of himself

    According to my source, "his parents are super loaded, so he moved to Hong Kong and started his own modelling agency to meet girls." Damn. He got to my master plan before I did.

    Here's my favorite album. His "Multiple faces of disappointment...2013." Two-thousand-freaking-thirteen. Does this dude have annual albums advertising his disappointing faces? Does he require his friends to witness how disappointed we are in his terrible facial expressions and photography choices?
    "Oh, me sleeping? PREPARE MY DISAPPOINTED FACE!"
    Asian Facepalming knows no bounds.

    Oh wow! Someone other than himself in his pictures. Though I'm sure he's about to snap that girl's neck for intruding into his picture.

    RIP, girl.






    --->THIS IS A LINE<----





    1. Make an account with

    2. Get on and upvote this post.

    3. Click the upward pointing arrow on the post, NOT the downward pointing arrow, it has an opposite effect.

     Please rec this, make your own post advertising this event, or please make a reddit account to help us.


  • The Xanga Database.

    In the event of a catastrophic Xanga meltdown, and widespread panic (OH GOD, ALL THE CANNIBALISM!), I know many of you may want to keep in touch with others. So I've created this XANGA DATABASE. It's shareable and open for anyone to enter their contact information, and doesn't require an account.


    On Tuesday, June 4th (that's tomorrow), at 8pm Eastern I'll (along with @thetheologianscafe and @shimmerbodycream will be posting a link to Xanga's fundraiser on Reddit. We hope to bring exposure to the fundraiser to save Xanga and all the Malaysians. Head on over to Shimmer's post on how we plan to do this.

    In the meantime, I'm going to drink myself silly tonight.

    Me: I'm going to happy hour.
    Mom: I'll be stuck at WORK while you're drinking yourself to happy happy land
    Me: how late?
    Mom: probably 8pm
    Me: oh. have fun!