I know I've spoken in the past and mentioned my dislike for people wearing fake glasses. But I can make exceptions, damn it! You'll thank me for this one!

Every time I pass by my coworker's empty desk, I quickly draw something on his whiteboard before he returns.

Operation Whiteboard part I: The Beginning
Random doodles, added slowly over a week.

Operation Whiteboard part II: Success

Jk I don't know what I'm doing.

Operation Whiteboard: Part III - Skyline

The city skyline needs some action. Shall we destroy it?

Operation Whiteboard: Part IV - Skyline Destroy!

UFOs and King Kong emerge for a play date in the city.

Operation Whiteboard: Episode V - Fart Wars

A footlong ago, in a restaurant fart, fart away...

It is a period of flatulence. Rebel
beans, striking from a hidden
butt, have won their fart victory
against the evil Beano Fartpire.

Operation Whiteboard: Episode VI - 'MURICA!

I live my life one inch at a time. And by inch, I mean 12 inch subs. Or 11.5 inches in Subway terms.

Operation Whiteboard: Episode VII - Pelvis Presley

One can only imagine what was censored (erased before I could fetch my camera).
Operation Whiteboard: Episode VI. I live my life one inch at a time. And by inch, I mean 12 inch subs. Or 11.5 inches in Subway terms.

Operation Whiteboard: Episode VIII - Pirates of the Cockabbean

Pirates of the Cockabbean starring: Longcock Silver and Johnny Depple-penetration.
I'm clearly not getting paid enough for my wit.

Operation Whiteboard: Part VIII - Cocks and Rubbers

When it cums to the schlong arm of the law, nobody gets away.

Operation Whiteboard: Part IX - Team meeting

We're all on the same page.

Operation Whiteboard: Part X - The Mighty Coctopus

Deep within the cold, dark Atlantic Ocean, a creature lurks, seeking its prey. Will it be a Cleveland steamer? Perhaps a divine mermaid? Or maybe delicious seamen?

Operation Whiteboard: Part XI - Count Cockula

The Count is back, and he sucks! Your only hope of getting rid of him? Stab him with your wood.

Operation Whiteboard: Part XII - COCKer Spaniel

Bitches love the cocker spaniel.

Operation Whiteboard: Part XIII - The Cockulator 2000™

Hay, gurl! How can I know so many hundreds of digits of pi and not the 7 digits of your phone number? I'd like to plug my solution into your equation.

Operation Whiteboard: Part XIV - McDicken Filet

Sink your teeth into a hot, juicy, fresh McDicken filet. One taste and you'll be begging for more!

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The Knicks are here and ready for a deep playoff push. Here's a video I produced to show support for my favorite team, the New York Knicks.

Not sure what to do this April Fools Day? Don't worry, I got you covered.

Mentos in ice cubes

Bouillon in shower head

Explosive cake

Toothpaste Oreos

Mayo filled donuts

Soap that won't lather

The great debate of 2013.

Looks like your mother's dildo has arrived.

A recent post on @olwd's blog surfaced recently, comparing men with their sexual battery-powered counterpart. As I was reading this list, I couldn't help but wonder how women could even compare this inorganic object to the real thing.

So here's my list of

1. Who's going to replace your lightbulb when you can't reach?
2. We'll stomp that spider out when you're cowering in the corner, hugging your vibrator.
3. We can change your tire. Or oil. Or anything that requires tools.
4. You won't deter that mugger with a dildo. Well, maybe if it was a giant purple one.
5. That blinking 12:00 on your VCR will blink for an enternity without us.
6. We can lift things up, then put them down.
7. Most of us aren't "Made In China."
8. We can do your taxes.
9. Who's going to offer you a coat when you're freezing? Sure, try and pull out that dildo of yours to keep warm.
10. We can hold doors. Though dildo make for great doorstops (don't ask).
11. You can invite us to parties.
12. You'll never misplace us behind your bed.
13. Who would you prefer introducing to your parents? "Mom, dad, meet Mr. Shakes-a-lot."
14. We can wash ourselves.
15. You wouldn't need to replace us every few months, unless you're Paris Hilton or Lindsay Lohan.
16. We'll laugh at all your bad jokes.
17. We'll tell you bad jokes.
18. You can't take a dildo to a dinner date. Not outside of Japan, I don't think.
19. We can finish your leftovers.
20. You can hold our hands in public. A dildo, not so much.
21. Good luck posting that new Facebook relationship status with "Dildo"
22. When you're watching a scary movie, instead of our hands, enjoy snuggling up with a dildo.
23. We can hold your hair up when you're violently vomiting into the toilet.
24. We'll tell you what you want to hear when you ask us how the dress makes you look.
25. Dildos will never compare to the real thing.

If we left females to accessorize cars.

Need a new read? Check out http://www.momusshrugged.com/. Momus Shrugged is a blog dedicated to the art of satire, mockery, and derision.

That's a really nice ocean view!

Here's a spinoff of @un_filtered's post of 100 general weaknesses; I'll be listing weaknesses of the opposite sex. I'm only doing 25 because I'm already struggling thinking of 10 weaknesses. Ladies, I'm not that easy. And it further cements the old adage that women never stop talking about themselves.

In no particular order:

1. Back dimples
2. Unique hairstyles
3. That gap between the thighs
4. In with Internet culture
5. Nice tans
6. Red hair
7. Cute butt
8. Cute boobs
9. Eyeshadow
10. Non-Asians that can speak an Asian language
11. A nice smile/really nice teeth
12. Fashionable without relying on name brand clothing
13. Late night chats online.
14. Tasteful tattoos
15. Boy shorts
16. Winks
17. Whispering in your ear
18. Accents (Except fobby Asian. Dear god, no!)
19. Subtle brush of the boob on your shoulder
20. Nice perfume
21. Black nailpolish
22. Tank tops
23. Fitted caps
24. Long socks
25. Silver jewelry

That is one lucky wall.

What are some weaknesses of yours?

Oh, hello there! You're looking prett--OH MY GOD! In the latest edition of ugly girls and guys, we feature lovely Xangans. You might recognize a few of them.

@myxldove

Maritte

@babyxxxo

@nihaokeisha

 tastydolphinbabes

Gina

@nimbusthedragon

Florin

Do you wear fake glasses? Then  you and I might need to fight. Watch my video to find out why.

Head on over to @nimbusthedragon's blog. She shares similar views on her latest post.

Whether you're a fiery-haired lad(y), or appreciate them. We can all celebrate these wonderful (soul-filled) friends. Or we can combine the two and make a wonderful Booby-filled Monday. Two for the price of one.

This weekend was spent with my new girlfriend, Lara. She's the girl you know, but with a whole new makeover. So I've been playing lots of Tomb Raider and it's been a blast.

Boob Raider! I mean, Lara Croft returns in the latest Tomb Raider reboot from Square Enix, more polished than ever. This game has some of the most brutal deaths I've seen the protagonist suffer; boulders crushing her face into a pancake, and rods impaling Lara's throat to name a few.

Here are some recordings of my gameplay.

Part 1

Part 2

Part 3

The latest Tomb Raider reboot is a refreshing gaming experience. Lara seems far more vulnerable--someone you can relate to--instead of a gun-slinging acrobat. Watching Lara grow up from unsure academic to confident adventurer is a fulfilling gaming experience. It's a wild ride, incorporating many upgradable skills, abilities, and modifiable weapons, which deepens gameplay. If you're a huge gamer, or fan of the series, I highly recommend it.

Somewhere along the way, they completely failed. Can you spot them?

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An event weeks in planning. To celebrate (excuse to drink) for @Mkazama's birthday. From tears of sadness to tears of joy within an hour. It was a rollercoaster of emotions for this birthday surprise. you can enjoy a more descriptive, emotional recount through her post (which is TOTALLY not as cool and awesome). Or let the photos below, taken during the weekend, include you in our festivities vicariously.

Making it just in time to the hotel at Borgata.

The semi-failed attempt to surprise by a few key members, but a surprise nonetheless.

Cake, cake, cake.

Ciroc to see my cock.

It makes your jizz taste derish, or so the ladies (and some guys?!?!) say...

Cheering to a night of fun and friendship.

Big mistake in a bottle.

It gets rather homosexual, really quickly.

Churrs!

"Just take it," is the motto.

The untimely death of an article of clothing.

This has been the norm for the past months.

The women do not hold back.

Three seconds. A new record.
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Featured in this month's company newsletter. If you recall from an earlier post, this is that photo. I'm actually astounded they let this through. O'DOYLE RULES!