June 26, 2013

  • The Drinking Bird at work.

    So buying this!

    http://ecx.images-amazon.com/images/I/41cK4XDO72L._SX385_.jpg

    After watching this:

    3-5 business days later.

    http://i.imgur.com/r6gt2IY.jpg
    My new coworker!

    Just look at him go!


    Reasons why "Dunky The Bird" (yes, I've named mine) is better than you.

    • He always agrees with what I say.
    • He can out drink you.
    • He is OCD about his cleanliness.
    • He has an amazing tophat. How many of you know someone who sports one? Exactly!
    • He's so awesome, he doesn't need arms or wings.
    • Unlike most women, he knows how to keep his mouth shut. (Oh no he di'int!)

    Here's how he works:

June 25, 2013

  • XANGA FUNDRAISER UPDATE #546

    At first, Xanga's donations to help relaunch Xanga came at a staggering pace.
    http://i.imgur.com/eG7GTTB.gif

    Money was flowing. Like long locks of hair.
    http://i.imgur.com/AqiPJbA.gif

    Then things started to slow down.
    http://i.imgur.com/y3B13rI.gif

    Nobody was surprised.
    http://i.imgur.com/YUi6VR0.gif

    Xangans slowly left for other blogging platforms.
    http://i.imgur.com/tgeUi39.gif

    Even Livejournal.
    http://i.imgur.com/EJd96R3.gif

    So people started posting on Facebook, starting other fundraisers, and radio shows (@roadlesstaken) were created to spread the word.
    http://i.imgur.com/mykF9I1.gif

    Current flow of donations coming in now.
    http://media.tumblr.com/42b07db7511cdd5895eeaac8a0e6c1d2/tumblr_inline_miuvc54WgH1qz4rgp.gif

    If you're still reading this, what are you waiting for?
    http://i.imgur.com/Qxrjwzb.gif

    So, are you going to donate?
    http://i.imgur.com/j4eJn5b.gif

    We only have two weeks left!
    http://i.imgur.com/ZAePK6l.gif

    Or Xanga will be gone forever.
    http://i.imgur.com/D9dQr.gif

June 24, 2013

  • Annoying Jewish Coworker Quote of the Day

    "Forget what I said... I just remember some of my OTHER circle of friends...."

    https://i.groupme.com/6006cc50bf57013041f4164679adaffb
    Yes..."friends."

    Annoying Jewish Coworker annoys another coworker.
    A coworker was kind and brought in tray of danishes for the group and set them up at his desk. Everyone comes by and treat themselves to at least one. There is one danish left.

    http://www.bagelshawaii.com/images/contents/danish_Photo1B.jpg

    Coworker: She has been picking away at the last piece of danish every time I got up to go somewhere. It was a full piece. It was half a piece. Now it was a quarter. I threw it out.


    http://xab.xanga.com/deef672245c35243477259/w190465680.jpg

    Radio show with @RoadLessTaken - Guest @VaneDave & Cakalusa

    http://cdn.btrcdn.com/pics/hostpics/2a21e951-96c6-4ebf-bcf4-2c8ec3f15b34_e3c875716b511e392902f5b0950749381015057.jpg

    We chat about Xanga, boobs, what bloggers smell like, and the trolling. Click here to listen.

June 20, 2013

June 18, 2013

  • Dating a Friend's Sister.

    http://x2b.xanga.com/791f9b2347533277427834/w221016244.jpg
    SO MUCH ATTRACTION!

    Let me preface this post with a simple question. Would you ever let any of your close friends date your sister/brother?

    Let that sink in for a moment. Think about it.

    Okay, we're back.

    Here's a conversation I had with my friend, who has a sister. On the contrary, I grew up with two older brothers.

    Friend: Hmm, I don't see a problem, just as long as they keep that mushy stuff to themselves, and they treat her right.
    Me: I don't know how I'd react if I had a sister and one of us (our group of friends) dated her. I probably wouldn't approve of it. It's just too close to home.
    Friend: Would you disown your sis?
    Me: No, but I would feel uneasy.
    Friend: And throw up?
    Me: Especially if my friend came over to hang with her.
    Friend: But if they match, you don't have to worry about some scrub.
    Me: True. I guess it's like a screening test.

    http://x4f.xanga.com/dd8e06f035635278066583/w221493978.png

    Would you ever date  your best friend's sister or brother?

June 17, 2013

  • Help Feed Xanga

    For only $0.13 a day, you can help feed this starving child.

    http://xc0.xanga.com/1eef8065c7330285169010/b227586614.jpg
    Look at the ominous hand and grungy look! That means we need your help!

    Feed Xanga’s Servers

    http://i.imgur.com/YSkKp.gif

    Nearly 18 million Xangans suffer from blog insecurity. That means they don’t always know where their next post will come from. Because of proud donors across the world, Xangan can live again. Blogs can survive.

    http://i.imgur.com/Djnih.gif
    No Xangan should be left out in the cold.

    No Xangan in America should go blogless.But every summer, millions of Xanga servers across the country struggle to find adequate funding to run. That’s why they need friends like us to step up and fill in the summer gap. Your gift to the Xanga Crowdhoster will provide badly needed funding and other essentials to Xanga's servers.

    For just 13 cents a day you can help Xanga.

    http://i.imgur.com/9EQmf.gif
    This could be you.

    Here's what 13 cents can buy you:

    -An extra button for your shirt.
    -Extra cream in your coffee.
    -A 7 second lapdance.
    -The bun of a White Castle slider.
    -A few seconds of fun at a wishing well.
    -The sports section of a newspaper.
    -6.5 opinionated thoughts.

    http://www.uber-facts.com/wp-content/uploads/2012/12/puppies-9.jpg

    Instead, you can support Xanga. Please give generously today to feed these starving servers and developers.

June 13, 2013

  • Doucheness is Best Served Cold

    With a side of farts.

    http://wp.streetwise.co/wp-content/uploads/2012/09/youre-a-douche-239x300.jpeg

    Him:  My friend used to work at this steak house. Run down, past its time. He said when real jappy or waspy parents came in, they wold make their kid order for the whole table. And the snottier and more demanding the kid was the more they applauded for the kid when it was done. Like initiation into the world of bossing people around.

    Me: I'd of farted on their food.

    Him: He said they would ask for like more expensive wine. He'd go find them the worst wine and they'd be like, "oh this is much better!"


    Random GIFs of the Day

    http://x37.xanga.com/5bfb600548110263218471/w1087108.gif

    http://x6e.xanga.com/43a8715a72330263218470/w111254689.gif

    http://xea.xanga.com/9c4b66e214cb0263218469/w632450.gif


    Degrading Sports Photos of the Day

    http://x2c.xanga.com/193f2b2bd8431264014652/w210489151.jpg
    Ah! There was a hole in my pants all this time?

    http://x52.xanga.com/1a8f2725d8431264014651/w210489150.jpg
    LAVA FLOORS!

    http://x04.xanga.com/9d4f5237d8431264014650/w210489149.jpg
    How to play dodgeball.

    http://x8e.xanga.com/fb2f5133d8431264014653/w210489152.jpg
    Heaviest Munchkin ever.

June 12, 2013

  • Been in a few relationships?

    Describe all your ex's. What you liked about them, what you hated about them.

    Go.

    Perhaps we can all learn something from each other.


    Random Photos of the Day.

    http://x7d.xanga.com/99de1b1663732284116993/w226666241.gif

    http://x74.xanga.com/312e171063732284116992/w226666240.jpg

    http://x5b.xanga.com/461e0212c0532284116991/w226666239.jpg

    https://sphotos-b.xx.fbcdn.net/hphotos-ash3/542486_773544838357_1488129469_n.jpg

    https://sphotos-a.xx.fbcdn.net/hphotos-snc7/394926_773335667537_1297785848_n.jpg
    When I was in school, no piece of work was complete unless it had a title created using this bad boy.


    https://sphotos-b.xx.fbcdn.net/hphotos-prn1/734314_773082160567_1502440601_n.jpg

    https://sphotos-a.xx.fbcdn.net/hphotos-ash3/530847_772833513857_520648988_n.jpg

    Born on date: Thursday, November 10, 2011

June 11, 2013

  • State of Cakalusa.

    Writing here for years has been nothing but special. I loved reading the feedback and steady flow of "LOLs." But over the years, I've lost motivation. Creativity doesn't come as often, and I simply don't have enough time to sit down and write posts like I have in the past. I went from needing to post every. single. day, to posting once a week. I feel obligated and forced to write "regularly" here. The news of impending doom coming to Xanga doesn't help.

    Now I'm digging deep. The next 30 days (up until the proposed "End of Xanga"), I will be posting content completely unedited, and unstructured from my cache website @cakalusastrikes. It's where I've been pre-writing my posts to copy & paste into this blog; I had 75+ posts queued up at one point. Some posts are public--and you'll get a glimpse of how unstructured and convoluted my early draft posts can be--but most are private. The posts you will read in the coming weeks can date back to 2006, but never saw daylight, until starting today.

    If Xanga survives, that's excellent news, and might reignite my blog like some tattered phoenix. If the clouds hover above on July 16th, then this blog too shall fade.


    Casual Fridays.
    I dress for success.

    http://x67.xanga.com/adef275424531257705471/w205090311.jpg
    ...too bad I had my fly unzipped for half the day. Fail!

    Fried Chicken Stories: Part 2.
    Remember that episode of Simpsons when Homer didn't get all that he could eat at the seafood buffet? And when they ran out of food, he went fishing for more seafood?

    Yeah...

    Is it sad if I had a craving for KFC at midnight, and it was closed, and I ended up going to a bowling alley to buy fried chicken? Cause I didn't...DON'T JUDGE ME! DAMN IT!

    P.S.S Chicken fingers at a bowling alley aren't bad at all. Just a sidenote....


    Car Fun.
    Zomg, I are teh thin!

    Old school video from the lost archives. Circa 2004, in a friend's car.


    UPDATE 9:12PM

    Dericious Ecuadorian Shrimp Ceviche!

    New recipe with the sister. She makes delicious Ecuadorian shrimp ceviche, while suffering no injuries.

June 10, 2013

  • There's selfies. And then there's this.

    http://xc1.xanga.com/de4f8b6014d33285113188/w227538120.jpg

    If you're vain, and take a few photos of yourself in a new shirt, or want to show off your new face tattoo on Facebook, I'll allow it. But if you dedicate albums of photos for your ugly mug to be to shown across the Internet, you deserve every bit of criticism.

    http://i.imgur.com/cq0clia.gif
    An opportunity to make fun of someone, you say?

    http://i.imgur.com/J47GJ.gif
    Don't mind if I do!

    The latest target comes from a Xangan (who shall remain anonymous), who requested, "wanna make fun of a super conceited vain guy on your blog?" I'm glad that yours truly comes to mind when things like this need to be addressed.

    So I headed over to his Facebook and browsed around. I immediately smelled this man's ego from ten miles away. His thumbs must get a great workout from clicking the shutter button all day on his cameraphone.

    http://xab.xanga.com/6b8f8bf551333285113179/w227538111.jpg
    http://x71.xanga.com/22cf83f551330285113184/m227538116.jpg
    http://xa8.xanga.com/cbdf9a6014d30285113183/m227538115.jpg

    After a while, I thought "okay, he likes taking pictures of himself." But five minutes later and pages upon pages of scrolling through, it was littered with nothing but albums of himself. Jesus. Christ.

    At first I was somewhat okay with it. Amazed, really, as to how a person can post so many selfies.
    http://i.imgur.com/PpkRA8Q.gif

    But after the 50th album of himself
    http://i.imgur.com/W4gFfZ1.gif

    http://xfc.xanga.com/e8bf87f571333285113185/w227538117.jpg
    http://xe9.xanga.com/d5bf966214d31285113182/m227538114.jpg

    According to my source, "his parents are super loaded, so he moved to Hong Kong and started his own modelling agency to meet girls." Damn. He got to my master plan before I did.

    http://i.imgur.com/FBlA4.gif
    http://x2b.xanga.com/aabe11f531333285113187/w227538119.jpg

    Here's my favorite album. His "Multiple faces of disappointment...2013." Two-thousand-freaking-thirteen. Does this dude have annual albums advertising his disappointing faces? Does he require his friends to witness how disappointed we are in his terrible facial expressions and photography choices?

    http://x76.xanga.com/20af6bfa14d31285113181/b227538113.jpg
    "Oh, me sleeping? PREPARE MY DISAPPOINTED FACE!"

    http://i.imgur.com/qwTkR.gif
    Asian Facepalming knows no bounds.

    http://xa9.xanga.com/efaf67f414d31285113180/b227538112.jpg

    Oh wow! Someone other than himself in his pictures. Though I'm sure he's about to snap that girl's neck for intruding into his picture.

    RIP, girl.

June 4, 2013

  • LET'S SAVE XANGA!

    DO YOU HATE XANGA?

    IF SO, STOP READING.

    http://t1.gstatic.com/images?q=tbn:ANd9GcRFWj2JB5nKz7wkqWe5AUp5e38tKvTtw7EuY2cDPAAJfXUxvhAk

    DO YOU LOVE XANGA?

    CONTINUE READING BELOW THIS LINE.

    --->THIS IS A LINE<----

    WHY ALL THE CAPS?

    BECAUSE I LOVE LOUD NOISES!!AND EXCLAMATION POINTS!!!!

    LET'S GIVE XANGA SOME NEEDED EXPOSURE. IT'S FREE (PEOPLE LOVE FREE), AND TAKES LESS THAN FIVE MINUTES OF YOUR TIME.

    HERE IS WHAT YOU CAN DO TO HELP.

    http://i.imgur.com/t4baDg0.gif

    1. Make an account with Reddit.com

    2. Get on Reddit.com and upvote this post.

    3. Click the upward pointing arrow on the post, NOT the downward pointing arrow, it has an opposite effect.

     Please rec this, make your own post advertising this event, or please make a reddit account to help us.

    YOU CAN'T LET THE COMMUNISTS WIN.

June 3, 2013

  • The Xanga Database.

    http://i.imgur.com/UfHI3JR.gif

    In the event of a catastrophic Xanga meltdown, and widespread panic (OH GOD, ALL THE CANNIBALISM!), I know many of you may want to keep in touch with others. So I've created this XANGA DATABASE. It's shareable and open for anyone to enter their contact information, and doesn't require an account.

    BUT WAIT! THERE'S MORE!

    On Tuesday, June 4th (that's tomorrow), at 8pm Eastern I'll (along with @thetheologianscafe and @shimmerbodycream will be posting a link to Xanga's fundraiser on Reddit. We hope to bring exposure to the fundraiser to save Xanga and all the Malaysians. Head on over to Shimmer's post on how we plan to do this.

    In the meantime, I'm going to drink myself silly tonight.

    Me: I'm going to happy hour.
    Mom: I'll be stuck at WORK while you're drinking yourself to happy happy land
    Me: how late?
    Mom: probably 8pm
    Me: oh. have fun!

May 31, 2013

  • Shutting Down Xanga.

    The Mayans were right! Xanga is going to shutdown! EVERYBODY PANIC!

    http://i.imgur.com/INVPU7L.jpg
    GOD! Only 200 thread sheets?!

    When I said in my previous post that Xanga is on the demise, I didn't think they would take me TOO seriously. I mean, come on, guys, calm down here. Let's not act too irrational. Where are all the Malaysians going to live now? THINK OF THEM, DAMN IT!

    http://i.imgur.com/l8cySSU.gif
    My hair...feels so soft.

    In the unfortunate event that the community miraculously doesn't come up with $60,000 in 6 weeks (sounds like a fishy spam letter don't it?), I do want to keep in touch with many of you. I've made so many friends here, including many close friendships. So I'd like to extend the offer to contact me through Facebook. www.facebook.com/cakalusa (please include your username in the message) or Twitter: www.twitter.com/cakalusa

    http://i.imgur.com/WPuE0.gif

    Hoping for the best, preparing for the worst (like waiting for an STD result).

  • XANGA FO LYFE!

    WE RIDE TOGETHER.

    WE DIE TOGETHER.

    http://i.imgur.com/qf41o.gif